This happens during lunchtime in kindergarten. One of the parents calls and wants to talk to me. Apparently, both parents have gotten [contagious illness], and they tell me they’ll pick their kid up ASAP.

One hour later, the dad is finally here. Parents aren’t allowed to enter the building because of the health crisis. While his kid is getting ready, I talk to the dad. There are also other parents outside waiting for their children.

Dad: “So, now that we have [illness], what about our child?”

As he says this everyone takes a huge step back from him.

Me: “What do you mean?”

Dad: “We can still bring him, right?”

Me: “I have to talk with my boss about this, but I’ll let you know as soon as possible.”

He stays for thirty more minutes, telling me how he’s vaccinated and he’s thinking about going grocery shopping. I say goodbye like five times because I want him to leave. I don’t have time for small talk, and I don’t want him here when he has [illness]. He finally leaves.

I ask my boss if they can bring their child, and he gets furious. Apparently, they weren’t even allowed to pick up their child at all. As soon as they got their positive test, they should have gone to quarantine. And he most definitely wasn’t allowed to stay here and talk about the weather and stuff.

I email the dad.

Me: “[Child] can come, but you’re not allowed to bring or pick him up. Someone else has to do this until you have a negative test and can leave quarantine again.”

Dad: “This is outrageous. We’re just staying outside. Can’t you make an exception? We don’t have family or friends that can do this for us. [Child] needs to go to kindergarten. And we’re vaccinated so it should be okay. We don’t even go into quarantine.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but there is nothing I can do. I don’t make rules and it doesn’t matter if you’re vaccinated or not. You NEED to stay at home because you got [illness]. You’re not even allowed to get groceries or mail, and if you bring your child, we won’t take him inside.”

Dad: “Then [Child] won’t attend kindergarten. Even though I don’t understand these rules. They’re dumb. It’s your fault that he’ll miss out on everything. What are we supposed to do with our child? We can’t play with him for a week or even longer.”

Me: “As I said, I don’t make the rules. Please stay home and get well soon.”

The dad never talked to me again about anything. The audacity of some people…

When the kindergarten was closed due to [health crisis], or children weren’t allowed to come to kindergarten, we got so many complaints like: “What am I supposed to do/play with my child?” “My child is bored. What should I do?” “I can’t do this anymore; when can I finally bring my child again?” “My child is driving me nuts; when are you open again?” 

Don’t have a child if you apparently don’t want one!

I work at a theme park. I’m stationed at the bumper boats, and it’s very close to closing time.  We have twelve boats total. Our bumper boats have squirters that are very easy to accidentally trigger. I’m the only person working the ride because my partner was pulled to help with sweep. These are my last few customers before I can sign out and go home. This is all one big group.

The bell rings, signaling the end of the round.

Me: “All right, people, let’s come back to the dock! Please stop spraying!”

Most customers are coming back to the dock and being patient with me as I run around and hook up their boats as quickly as possible. One customer cannot figure out how to direct her boat back and is just spinning in circles attempting to navigate.

Me: “Miss, please let go of your ‘go’ button! I can help you get back!”

I’m raising my voice slightly as she’s a fair distance away and the motors can be loud. A kid sprays me.

Me: “Hey, can you please not spray me? I don’t enjoy being wet.”

I get sprayed by another kid.

Me: “Hey, let’s make sure our hands are off our spray buttons, please!” *Raises my voice* “Okay, miss, can you point the arrow on top of your engine at me?”

The customer starts spinning in circles again and I’m slowly losing my patience as it’s ten minutes past close and I have a wet shirt and pants from sprayers.

Me: *To a different kid* “Okay, kiddo, can you hop out of your boat? I need to go get the person out there!”

The kid hops out, and I get in with our retrieval rope, grab the boat, and pull it in. I then start unloading boats, talking to myself in German as that’s the language I turn to when annoyed. I am speaking very quietly.

Me: “All right, you guys, have a wonderful night!”

The mom comes over to talk to me.

Mom: “Hey, where would I find your manager?”

Me: “Uh… I’m not quite sure. I could probably call him for you, though.”

Mom: “Yes, please.”

I call, get told he’s “backstage” (employee area), and relay this to the mom.

Mom: “Okay, and what’s your name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Mom: “I’m going to report you to your manager. I cannot believe you were cursing at my kid. She only speaks Spanish, and she got scared when you yelled at her!”

Me: “Ma’am—”

Mom: “You need to be more respectful. We paid good money to be here, and now our night is ruined because you had an attitude!”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize if that sounded like cursing. I was simply talking to myself in German, as that’s my native language. Also, I didn’t mean to yell at your child. I wanted to make sure she could hear me, and I assumed she could speak English as we are in the US.”

Mom: “That’s still not okay. Where is the employee area? I’m going to talk to your manager.”

I give her directions, struggling not to let my voice waver and not show how much she’s affecting me. She leaves with her group. I ask the remaining five or so kids in line to wait for a moment while I take a breather and get a drink of water. The dad of these five kids, who’s been waiting near the exit, comes over.

Dad: “Hey, are you okay?”

Me: “I’m fine. That was just my first negative customer experience.”

Dad: “You get off after our group, right?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Dad: “Would you mind walking me over to the employee area, as well? I know that you were doing your best to be patient with that group, and she had no right to yell at you like that. I’d like to reverse her complaint.”

Me: *In shock* “Uh, yeah. I can do that.”

I turned to the kids with a smile on my face that was actually genuine this time.

Awesome Dad, if you’re out there, thank you so much for looking out for that sixteen-year-old girl that night! You honestly made my entire week so much better.

I am hard of hearing. Being hard of hearing and working in food service was a unique sort of Hell. Once, I was taking a woman’s order and didn’t hear her.

Me: “Can you please repeat yourself? I’m hard of hearing.”

She sighed loudly and turned to the person working with me.

Customer: “Why is a deaf person on the register? Put her in the back where I don’t have to deal with her.”

The person she spoke to was my manager. She got kicked out of the store.

My wife and I are with some friends at a local bookstore’s trivia night. It’s been fun, but the emcee running the game has made some… odd choices. The one I remember best is this.

Emcee: “Okay, last question, three points. What song by Prince shares its name with a number?”

My team confers quietly, and we answer, “1999,” which is the full title of the song you’ve probably heard of. Later, the emcee is reviewing the responses out loud.

Emcee: “And the answer to the last question… is Seven.”

Me: “What about 1999?”

Emcee: “Nope, sorry, it’s Seven.”

Me: “But 1999 is also a Prince song that shares its name with a number.”

Emcee: “Yeah, but it doesn’t count because it’s not the one I was thinking of.”

We didn’t go back.

I work in a kind of divey bar, and as such, we have a bit of wiggle room with rude customers. I love it that way.

I am serving a table. From what I can gather, it is a woman, her boyfriend, and a friend of the woman’s. I go to take their orders, and the friend orders a bacon cheeseburger with fries (we offer a choice of fries or salad with most items). The girlfriend orders a bacon cheeseburger, too.

Me: “Would you like fries or salad with that?”

Woman: “Fries.”

Cue her boyfriend looking at her and loudly asking:

Man: “Oh, seriously? Are you sure you want fries?”

He then grabs his stomach and starts shaking it at her in a very obnoxious way. Her friend looks absolutely shocked and the woman looks super humiliated. I just ignore it.

Me: “Yep, fries, no problem!”

I look at the boyfriend.

Me: “What do you want?”

I kid you not, he asks for the exact same thing.

Man: “Can I get a bacon cheeseburger with fries?”

Without skipping a beat I grab my belly, shake it at this guy, and say:

Me: “Oh? Fries? Really? Are you sure?”

The two women absolutely die laughing and the guy goes scarlet and starts yelling.

Man: “Oh, no! I didn’t mean it like that!”

I told him I didn’t care, and I walked away. I got a massive tip from that table!