The Only Thing You’re Washing Is Yourself Of This Job

, , , , | Working | December 4, 2017

(I’m between jobs and doing temporary placements washing dishes to keep up. I’m doing a three-day job in my least favorite kitchen, which has by far the heaviest workload, despite servicing a canteen that’s open two hours a day, at an office in the middle of nowhere. Net result is that 90% of the food gets thrown away. On the third day, I get there, and I find the manager looking angry.)

Manager: “Where have you been?”

Me: “I’m due in at 10:00. It’s 9:50.”

Manager: “The others haven’t turned up. You should have coordinated and arranged to come in if they couldn’t make it!”

Me: “I… don’t know them outside work. If you needed me in earlier, you should have phoned me.”

Manager: “Well, you’d better sort this out now. We’ve had no one working pot wash all morning.”

(He shows me a station where no less than six trolleys are piled high with equipment.)

Me: “Wasn’t there anyone you could have assigned to it?”

(There are about 15 cooks working in this canteen.)

Manager: “I couldn’t spare anyone. Now get on with it!”

(I try my best, but things are piling up faster than I can wash them. After half an hour…)

Manager: “This pile’s bigger than it was before!”

Me: “I’m doing my best. This station is supposed to be run by three people.”

Manager: “Then pick up the pace. We need all this stuff in the next ten minutes!”

Me: “Or what? I’m not an expert, but I’ve seen [Big Restaurant] manage a whole day with half of what you’ve cooked so far. You’re cooking one meal, you’ve been cooking it since lunchtime yesterday, and there’s more food piled up than anywhere else I’ve worked. What do you think is going to happen if you have to wait ten minutes?”

(To my surprise, he can’t respond, but continues to shout at me. Fortunately, I get a call from a company I applied to inviting me to an interview. My contract allows me to use my phone, and I know they’ll offer the interview to someone else if I ask them to, so I find some jobs to do one-handed as I talk.)

Manager: “You need to turn that off!”

Me: *mouthing* “I need to take this.”

(He follows me round while I try to ignore him.)

Manager: “If you want to talk to your friends, I can send you home to do it!”

Me: *covers the speaker for a second* “Do it, then!”

(I dropped the tray I was carrying and left.)

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Can’t Discount The Power Of Niceties

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2017

(I am a cashier at a home decor store. A middle-aged woman comes up to my cash with a cart full of product. From the get-go she is extremely friendly, almost to the point that it’s creepy. She compliments my hair and my eyes, and says that I am such a nice young girl, all with a weird smile that never leaves her face. I am a little suspicious about how overtly nice she’s being. Sure enough, when I’m finished ringing her purchases through…)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is $251.75.”

Customer: *smile* “Oh, no, no, dear. That’s just too much. Don’t I get some sort of discount?”

Me: “I’m sorry; none of these items are on sale. Are any of these damaged at all?”

Customer: “Well, I was just so nice to you. Wasn’t I? I think I deserve some sort of discount for being such a pleasant customer.”

Me: “I’m sorry. You want a discount… for being friendly to me?”

Customer: *her smile is starting to slip and she raises her voice* “Yes! I saw something on Facebook that said if you’re nice to store employees they’ll give you a discount! Don’t you have an employee discount? Use that!”

(I am dumbstruck at the woman’s sudden personality shift. It takes me a few seconds to respond.)

Me: “Ma’am… I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, fine! I don’t want any of this s***, then!”

(She stormed off, leaving all the product on my till. My coworkers were just as flabbergasted as I was.)

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I Don’t Want To Make A Big Deal, But Here Is A Big Deal

, , , , , | Right | December 3, 2017

(It’s a Sunday, so there are only two librarians working the library circulation desk. As I come up to the desk to check out my books, both librarians are talking to an older woman.)

Woman: “This is not a big deal; I just want to make it clear that I feel I have been cheated!”

Librarian #1: “Ma’am, while you may have overpaid your overdue fines—”

Woman: “I was told they would be credited against my future fines!”

Librarian #1: “I do not know who told you that, but they were mistaken.”

Woman: “My son says you do it for him all the time. And it’s only a quarter, but—”

Librarian #2: “We’ve never done credits.”

Woman: “—It’s not a big deal if your employee POCKETED TAXPAYER FUNDS!”

Librarian #1: “Ma’am, any excess fine payments are donated to the Friends of the Library, and we always ask beforehand if that’s all right.”

Woman: “It’s only a quarter. I get it. It’s no big deal, but I don’t understand—”

Librarian #2: “Ma’am, if you wanted to bring in your receipt—”

Woman: “I DON’T WANT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS, BUT—”

Librarian #1: *exasperated* “Ma’am, here is a quarter; I apologize for the misunderstanding.”

Woman: “Well. Fine.” *takes her book and her quarter and marches out*

Me: *as I step up to the desk* “I’m so glad that wasn’t a big deal.”

Librarian #2: *wearily* “You have no idea.”

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Learning Vietnamese Should Only Take A Day

, , , , , | Working | December 3, 2017

(I’m getting a SIM card in Thailand. I am ethnic Chinese with an American passport. I am learning Vietnamese so I put my phone to Vietnamese. Though I can only read 10%, I am trying to force myself to learn the rest, since I generally know what it should say. The conversation is in English unless stated.)

Employee: “Passport, please, and your phone?”

Me: “Here you go.”

Employee: *in Vietnamese* “SIM card… inside…”

Me: *in Vietnamese* “Oh, my Vietnamese isn’t very good.” *in English* “English, please?”

Employee: “Idiot. Then why use Vietnamese phone?!” *rolls eyes*

Me: *pause* “I’m learning it, too? I’m still a beginner.”

Employee: “Not good enough. If you learn it, learn it well!”

(He continued to glare at me, so I quickly got it done and left. I’m not sure what his problem was; perhaps some political/ethnicity nonsense?)

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Wish You Could Liquidate Some Customers

, , , , | Right | December 3, 2017

(A big department store has recently declared bankruptcy and is closing down. All the stores are now in liquidation. The new prices are clearly marked on the labels and any additional discounts are marked in bright posters all over the store. On top of that, this is pretty big news in general which has been covered by many media outlets. I am shopping with a friend because I have an old gift card that I want to use it before the store closes forever. I am next in line and am browsing the “impulse buy” section. I am standing about five feet away from the customer in front of me, who is at the cash ringing her items through.)

Sales Rep: *tells woman what the total is*

Customer: “No. That’s not right. They were on sale in the flyer.”

Sales Rep: “I understand, and I do apologize. The thing is, we’ve gone into liquidation, so we can no longer honor those prices. As you can see on the tag, this is the liquidation price; plus, there’s a 20% discount.”

Customer: *stares at the employee as if he is speaking in a different language* “What?! But it’s in the flyer!

Sales Rep: “I can go check with my supervisor and see if I can put it through for the flyer price.” *leaves*

(I continue to browse a rack of flip flops that are behind the customer, four or five feet away.)

Customer: “CAN YOU PLEASE BACK AWAY, JUST LIKE A FEW FEET?”

(I do not realize she is speaking to me, since I am not very close to her and I am within the area blocked off for lining up, and there’s people behind me, so I don’t really have anywhere to move to. I just ignore her and think maybe she’s talking to someone else.)

Sales Rep: *returns* “Hi, so, I can’t make any changes to the liquidation prices.” *begins to explain to her what a liquidation is and why he can’t make any changes*

Customer: “Well, can you just ring it in at the sale price from the flyer, and then ring it in at the liquidation price so that I can see the difference?”

(The sales rep begins ringing through the items to compare prices. I step back into line, away from the flip-flops. I am now three or four feet away from the customer, but I am by no means “too close,” as I am standing in the marked area for the next customer in line to wait. The customer, who is now arguing about what ends up being about a $1 difference between sale price and liquidation price, suddenly turns to me.)

Customer: “CAN YOU PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM ME A FEW FEET?! I CAN’T FOCUS WITH YOU STANDING SO CLOSE!”

Me: *fed up, as we have been waiting on this woman over ten minutes* “Yeah! Okay!”

(I left the line and went to a different cashier elsewhere in the store. I was next in line there, as well, and was done with my transaction in about two minutes. I had to walk past the original register and noticed the same lady was still there, arguing about her store points, with a line of over ten people behind her. Her purchase was just four pairs of socks. Also, the cashier who checked me out told me that customers have gone crazy with the sale; she witnessed a woman slap a complete stranger across the face when she thought she was trying to step in front of her in line.)

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