I decided to play a prank on my wife. I had my daughter bury me under a huge pile of leaves and then popped up out of it as she strolled up the driveway, making her jump ten feet in the air.

It was a good laugh until a man who had been walking past and witnessed it objected.

Man: “Dude, that was f****** stupid! What if she’d pulled out a gun that she’d bought unbeknownst to you and shot you dead on reflex?”

Me: *Pauses* “Why in the h*** would my wife of twenty-three years be secretly buying firearms behind my back and carrying them on her person — which is illegal, if you know anything about guns and the law?”

Wife: “Not to mention shooting someone for startling them?!”

Man: “Lots of women out there have guns their spouses don’t know about. This is America, in case you forgot.”

Me: “Yeah, and it’s morons like you that make it embarrassing rather than something to be proud of!”

I work as a supervisor in a home decor store. About a year ago, another store opened up two blocks down the street from us. They were a different company but had a similar name, like “In Your House” versus “Stuff For Your House.”

One afternoon, I was doing five things at once (quite normal) and I answered the phone.

Me: “Thank you for calling ‘In Your House’ in [Town]. How can I help you?”

Man: “Hi. I was just in there a little while ago and bought a sofa, and I’m here to pick it up.”

On the surface, this is not odd. We sell sofas. I wasn’t aware that we had sold any today, but occasionally things do happen without my knowledge, so I don’t think much of it.

Me: “Okay, sir, let me radio for someone in the back to bring it out to you. Are you out front?”

Man: “No, I’m at the rear of your building. I was told to pick it up here.”

Me: *Pauses* “One moment, please.”

I mute the call in confusion. While we do sell sofas and we do allow people to pick up their paid-for merchandise later in the day or week, all pick-ups are done at the front door. It’s a bit tricky to get to our back, and the doors are heavy garage-type doors, so we never tell people to go back there; hence my confusion. I get on the radio to talk to my boss.

Me: “I have a gentleman on the phone who says he’s at the back door to pick up the sofa he bought.”

Boss: *Pauses* “At the back door?”

Me: “That’s what he says. He said he bought the sofa earlier today and he was told to pick it up at the back door.”

Boss: “We haven’t sold any sofas today, and we definitely haven’t told anyone to go to the back door!”

Me: “I thought it seemed strange. Let me talk to him.”

I unmute the call.

Me: “Sir, we haven’t sold any sofas today, and we never tell anyone to do a pick-up at the back door. Are you quite certain you’ve called the right location? We do have other stores; maybe you meant to dial one of those?”

Man: “What kind of bulls*** are you trying to pull? I bought a sofa from you and the guy told me to come around back!”

Me: “Sir, we have no men working in our store today. I don’t know who told you to go around back, but it wasn’t anyone who works here.”

Man: “The h*** are you talking about!? You’re on [Street], right?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Man: “Isn’t this ‘Stuff For Your House’?!”

Me: “Aha. No, sir, they’re down the street. You’ve called the ‘In Your House’ store.”

I hear somebody in the background on his end, laughing hysterically.

Person: “You idiot! You called the wrong store!”

And of course, he then hung up the phone with no apology for how he’d spoken to me. We laughed about him for the rest of the day.

At the call center where I worked, we helped customers with basic troubleshooting when their Internet wasn’t working — the old “unplug it and plug it back in” and whatnot. We were trained for three days, which consisted of one day of the actual teaching and practice and then two days of having one person on the actual phone while the rest of us listened and then gave feedback. After that, we were on the phones with some supervision.

It was my second day on the phones. I have anxiety, so being on the phones was very nerve-wracking, especially since a coworker and I had been pulled off the phones after an hour the day before to get more training done, but then were told by the main office manager that we don’t get more training. I felt very scared and underprepared.

It didn’t help that one of my callers was getting short with me and was impatient as I tried to remember and locate everything I needed. Our supervisor told us to let the callers know that we were new if we were being a bit slow or if the callers seemed to be impatient, and that seemed to help… until this caller.

Caller: “What’s the hold-up?!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m still new here and I’m learning. Please be patient with me.”

Caller: *In a condescending tone* “You shouldn’t tell people you’re new. I’m a supervisor, and it’s very unprofessional to tell someone you are new.”  

To be honest, I was a bit surprised, so it took me a few moments, but then I answered.

Me: “I’m sorry. My supervisor told me to let customers know I was new so they could understand why it’s taking a moment.”

I was a bit short, but my anxiety got the best of me. He was silent for a little bit and then said, again shortly:

Caller: “Well, you shouldn’t tell people that.”

I mean, maybe it is a bit unprofessional, but if someone seems like they don’t know what they are doing and then they tell me they are new and still learning the job, chances are I’m going to be a bit more understanding than to someone who has been there for years. Also, why do people feel like they need to tell others how to do their jobs?

This was just after our province lifted the mandatory mask mandate but still stated that masks were optional. I have an autoimmune disorder where I have to actively kill (suppress) my immune system so it doesn’t kill me. I wore masks into crowded places during really bad flu seasons before it became a topic of argument.

My province had a lot of people who did not believe in mandates or masks, so they started trucking convoys to block roads and even managed to shut down cities so people couldn’t get around. The organizer always said, “We are doing this for freedom of choice.”

After one of these convoys, the mask mandate went away, so of course, they took the credit. This annoying exchange took place after that.

I was about to walk into a store where I knew it was going to be crowded, so I put on a mask. A guy came up to me.

Guy: *Very angry* “HOW DARE YOU?!”

Me: “What?!”

Guy: “HOW DARE YOU WEAR A MASK AND RUIN WHAT I FOUGHT FOR?!”

I didn’t know what to say, and he was blocking my path.

Guy: “I was with the convoy! I fought for us to no longer have to wear masks, so take it off!”

Me: “I thought you guys were fighting for freedom of choice?”

Guy: “Uh… well…”

I quickly bolted past him before he could think of a reply.

I’m a thirty-year-old guy, traveling with my family to Miami to shopping and stuff. It’s my first time in the USA. There is a nice mall in front of our hotel. The shopping mall is big and very exciting. It is pretty fun to see different people at the same time and place from all over the world. I go into a clothing store to buy something for myself.

Suddenly, a female customer approaches me.

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have this in a larger size?”

At first, I think something like, “You know what? I want to help this lady!” I look around and find the same shirt in what appears to be a larger size.

Me: “I found this one. Take a look.”

She takes it from me, looks it over, and then gives it back to me.

Customer: “Okay, I’ll buy it.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

I try to hand the shirt back. When she stares back at me, I realize what is going on.

Me: “Oh, I don’t work here. I’m sorry!”

She takes her glasses off.

Customer: “Okay. Can you call the manager, please?”

I know this is probably the wrong decision, but it is my first time out of my country. At the time, I really think that the best thing to do is try to help and then leave. I go to a guy at a register and tell him what is going on.

Me: “That lady thought I worked here. Now she wants to talk with the manager. I just tried to help, I’m sorry.”

The guy gives me a smile, trying not to laugh.

Guy: “A wild [Nickname For An Entitled Woman] appears, huh?”

I get the Pokémon reference, but at the time, I think she is a well-known customer with a normal woman’s name. The guy goes upstairs to find the manager.

Since I am trying soooo hard to help, I make the most unforgettable/unforgivable mistake of my life. I approach the woman and say:

Me: “Ms. [Nickname], the guy on the register was—”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO?!”

I go pale. I just freeze while the entire store is looking and lift up my hands the exact way I’d do if I was getting robbed. For five minutes, the woman rants, saying all sorts of rude things. Slowly, I approach the register, as if I were a little deer scared by a wolf or a wild boar. The woman is following me, of course, step by step.

I see the manager approaching as my great white horse knight ready to protect me from that dragon.

Customer: “I demand you fire this… this lazy [profanity]!”

The manager takes a look at me and I slowly drop my hands down.

Manager: “Okay, lady. This guy tried to help you, from what I was told, but he doesn’t work here.”

The woman does not seem to be satisfied.

Customer: “You Latinos are just lazy, aren’t you?”

Manager: “If you don’t back off and leave this store, I will call the police, and I and this guy—” *points to me* “—are going to press charges for your racism.”

The woman left. I was like, “WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?!”

The guy on the register then explained to me what a [Nickname] was.