A Gratuitous Circuitous Route To Gratuity

, , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(The gift certificates sold at our establishment can be purchased for a specific spa service or package, but can also be used as dollar value in case the recipient does not want to redeem the service or package picked out for them by the purchaser.)

Customer: “I would like to use this gift certificate to pay for my service.”

Me: “Certainly. You are aware that by using this as your method of payment, the gift certificate is no longer redeemable for the full package of services that was picked out when it was purchased?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, you have a $60 balance remaining on your gift certificate for you to use next time.”

Customer: “Is there gratuity included on there?”

Me: “There is a remaining balance you are welcome to use towards gratuity.”

Customer: “No. Is there gratuity?”

Me: “You opted to use the gift certificate for a different service than was originally purchased, that was less money. You have a remaining balance on your gift certificate you can apply towards gratuity.”

Customer: “IS. THERE. GRATUITY. ON. THE. CARD?”

Me: “Ma’am, this is equivalent to someone picking you out a gift certificate for a laptop and you choosing to buy a sweater instead, but then inquiring if the mouse comes with the sweater.”

Customer: “ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS IF THERE IS GRATUITY ON MY GIFT CERTIFICATE!”

Me: *long pause* “No.”

Customer: “Well, it took you a while, but it looks like you finally got me my answer.”

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I Feel Sorry For The Husky

, , , , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I run a pet boarding business out of my home. I provide high-end care for dogs while their owners are out of town or at work. In this area, I am in high demand, often dealing with clients that are willing to throw down a lot of cash for their dogs. One morning I receive this booking request in my email:)

Client: “Hi. My dog is a purebred Siberian Husky. She is two months old. I do not want her around any other dogs, but I will not leave her alone while I am at work every day. I will need you to watch her starting tomorrow.”

(She lists off dates and times for thirty-six days she wants her dog to stay with me while she is at work.)

Me: “Hello! She’s a beautiful dog! Unfortunately, I have other dogs booked with me every single day for the next month, so I would not be able to provide care for her without her coming into contact with other dogs, and I do not accept dogs that have not had their vaccinations. Her papers you sent me indicate that she has not yet had her vaccinations. If you need any assistance after she has received her shots, I would love to meet with you to discuss the details!”

Client: “She cannot be around other dogs. I am paying you $1,000 to make that happen.”

Me: “I do appreciate your interest in my services, but as I said, I have many other bookings, so providing solitary care for her would not be possible. I also would not be able to accept her until she has been vaccinated.”

Client: “I am not willing to pay you over $1,100.”

Me: “The issue isn’t with the money; the issue is that I have other bookings; so your dog would be around other dogs if she were to stay with me.”

Client: “Absolutely not. I am paying you $1,000 a month; she needs to be alone.”

Me: “Ma’am, every other owner that is currently booked with me has paid the same rates. I cannot cancel their bookings simply because you don’t want their dogs around yours and frankly, I cannot run a business by only watching one dog. And again, I would not even be able to consider care until you had her vaccinated.”

Client: “Then what am I even paying you for?”

(I explained my policies to her yet again and she stopped responding. I’m pretty relieved, honestly. Dealing with that attitude every day doesn’t sound worth the money.)

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Prescribing You The Ability To Listen

, , , | Healthy | August 9, 2018

(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a twenty-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir. How I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested — [Prescription] — isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)


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What An ID-iot

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I am a seasoned retail worker, and we recently had to start verifying credit card holders by checking their IDs. A lot of people are upset by this, but most people are appreciative, given the amount of theft that has been happening with credit cards. After one woman has paid with her debit card, she plugs in her PIN and I give her the receipt. Another customer approaches the counter after waiting a bit longer than she would have liked to. After her purchase, she hands me her credit card.)

Me: “Okay, that will be [amount]. Could I check your ID, please?”

Customer: “Why do you need my ID?! You didn’t ask the lady in front of me for her ID!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but she used a debit card, so she used her PIN.”

(The customer pulled out her driver’s license and violently shoved it in my face. I gave her the receipt and let her leave, without saying anything. The customers behind her were kind and understanding, and were more than willing to show me their IDs.)

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Skirting Around Who To Blame

, , , , | Working | August 8, 2018

(I work in a store in the mall that sells higher-end clothing. We have different “styles” — casual, evening, business attire, etc. — in the main women’s room. A customer comes in and I do my whole routine.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]! Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Do you sell skirts?”

Me: “What kind of skirt are you looking for?”

Customer: *getting a little impatient* “A skirt. Do you sell them?”

Me: “Well, yes. But they’re scattered throughout the store.”

Customer: “Show me.”

(I start showing the customer where we have all of our skirts. By the time we get to the back of the store, she’s clearly disinterested.)

Me: “…and here are the pencil skirts.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me where the pencil skirts were?! God, can’t you teens do anything right?”

(The customer then stormed out of the store.)

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