Reasons Why Customer Service Should Be Mandatory: #2

, , , , | Right | January 1, 2018

(This comment is left on a satisfaction survey a customer filled out online, which gets posted in the break room.)

Customer Comment: “I came in the other day during your summer sale and you guys were super busy. There were employees on the sales floor, but they were too preoccupied helping other customers, so I was never able to get any help. When I was ready to check out, all of the registers were open and the cashiers seemed to be going fast, but the line was way too long, so I just put all my things on hold and left. I don’t think I’ll come back for them, though. I think you guys are doing something wrong. Maybe hire some more people and have your employees stay later after closing, so the store isn’t such a mess when you’re busy like that and customers are leaving their crap everywhere.”

(The survey also stated that this customer came in five hours after we opened for the day, on one of our busiest days of the summer. I don’t think they’ve ever worked a day of retail in their life!)

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Customer Insults Are In Top Gear Today

, , , | Working | January 1, 2018

(I go to school in a bigger city that’s an hour away from where I live. I have a bike at the city to bring me from the station to school, just because I try to avoid local public transport. It’s a very cheap, second hand bike, and the gears are taken off, so it’s now set in one gear. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stay in that one gear, causing the chain to slip, so I bring it to the bike repair shop near the station. Before, it was set to third gear, which was fine with me. I pick up my bike after repairs and notice it has been set to first gear, so when I try to gain any momentum I have to pedal like a maniac. I used to be a lot heavier, but recently lost quite a bit of weight; most of the weight I haven’t lost yet is gathered in my thighs.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but can it possibly be set to the gear it was in when I brought it here? I’m not really looking forward to biking to the other side of town in first gear all the way.”

Bike Repair Guy: “Sorry, this is the only gear I can put it on in order to make it work. If I tighten it any further, your chain will slip again.”

Me: “Are you sure? Well, I guess I have to take it as it is then.”

Bike Repair Guy: “Besides, some extra pedaling would do you no harm. Get some of that fat off your legs!”

(I left as fast as I could in order not to give that guy a mouthful. Have never been back since.)

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This Conversation Is Transcending Nowhere

, , , , , , , , , | Friendly | January 1, 2018

(I’m a trans guy. An underclassman has latched onto me as his mentor after I started dating his friend. I’ve assumed that he knows I’m trans, as it’s common knowledge among most people I talk to and he calls me “he.” We’re outside waiting for the bus when this happens.)

Friend: “So, what would you do if you got [Girlfriend] pregnant?”

Me: *surprised* “That would be quite a feat.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah.”

Me: “I guess if she was pregnant, I’d probably break up with her.”

Friend: “What? Why?!”

Girlfriend: “He can’t get me pregnant. It would mean I was cheating.”

(The subject soon changes, but as [Friend] and I get on our bus and my girlfriend gets on hers, he starts it up again.)

Friend: “So, if you got her pregnant, what would you name your kids?”

Me: “Again, I can’t get her pregnant.”

Friend: “What? Really?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Friend: “How does that work?”

(He’s very innocent, in some ways, and I kind of like that I pass as male around him. It’s nice having someone who doesn’t know I’m trans. He also tends to not have much tact, so I don’t necessarily want to get into the whole conversation right now. I don’t want to outright lie, though, so I weigh my words carefully.)

Me: “It’s a… medical thing.”

Friend: “Ah, did you get snip-snipped?” *makes scissor motion with fingers*

Me: “No, it’s complicated. I’ll tell you some other time.”

Friend: “Did you get kicked really hard? Because that’s the only reason I can think of.”

Me: “No!”

Friend: “So, your wick-wack doesn’t work like it used to?”

Me: “Kind of?”

Friend: “That’s weird.”

Me: *tired of this* “I got it fighting a dragon.”

Friend: “A dog?”

Me: “No, a dragon. A fire-breathing dragon.”

Friend: “Okaaay… Where did you find this fire-breathing dragon?”

Me: “In the land of None Of Your Business.”

Friend: “OOOH, that was good.”

(He thankfully changed the topic to Australia, scary animals, and dog breeds he’d eventually like to own. He ended up finding out I was trans later, unfortunately, and my girlfriend explained it to him. Sadly, it’s much less fun talking to him now, especially after he jokingly called me a girl right after he found out. He tried to reassure me by telling me I still “count as a ‘he,'” taking great pleasure in the fact that he knows my apparent “secret,” referencing my “non-existent [genitals],” and telling me that I “confuse him” because he “has to call me he” even though the school still makes me use female formal wear for concert attire. I’ll be distancing myself from him. Thankfully, my girlfriend is one of my fiercest supporters and corrects him whenever she can.)

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Nailed Any Chance Of A Tip

, , , , , | Working | January 1, 2018

(My mother and I are getting pedicures together at one of our favorite nail salons after not having them done for a while. My mom has struggled with her weight for years and is understandably sensitive about it. We’ve just sat down and the technicians have come over to start our pedicures when this occurs.)

Technician: “Do you have any medical conditions?”

Mom: “None that are relevant to this, no. Thanks for asking.”

Technician: “Really? Not diabetic?”

(At this point I look over, shocked a bit at the gall of this woman, and waiting to see if my mother wants to just leave the shop.)

Mom: *amazingly keeping her cool* “Nope. Just fat. Thanks.”

(If someone says that they don’t have a relevant medical condition — the first time we’d ever been asked something like that anywhere, ever — don’t push them! No one is going to forget they have diabetes and then remember when you suggest that they might.)

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Monsieur Shouty-Pants: A Cautionary Tale

, , , , , , | Right | January 1, 2018

(I’m half French, and the following takes place in Paris when I’m flying back from a family event. My flight is cancelled, and the inevitable queue of disgruntled passengers is starting to build around the customer service desk. I am standing behind an American chap who is in full how-dare-you-cancel-my-flight, do-you-not-know-who-I-am mode, made worse by the fact that he is shouting in English and the representative is clearly French. He eventually storms off, I suspect without the ticket he needs. The representative shakes her head and gives a shrug as I approach.)

Me: “Quel gentilhomme charmant!” *What a charming fellow!*

Representative: “Ah, je ne m’en fous pas!” *I don’t give a f***!*

(She then realises what she’s said and turns bright red.)

Me: *in hysterics* “Ah, oui, moi je n’ai pas envie de le f***** non plus!” *I wouldn’t want to f*** him either!*

(She made sure I got on the next flight. I didn’t manage to get an upgrade, but I suspect I got home much more quickly than Monsieur Shouty-Pants.)

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