The Order Doesn’t Have A Sheen To It

, , , , , | Working | April 13, 2018

(I’ve ordered a hamburger and onion rings in a cafeteria inside a supermarket. I pay for it, the cashier writes my name on the order, and I go find a table. For the purpose of this story, let’s say my name is Sheena. After a few minutes, I see a cafeteria worker walking around the tables with a hamburger and onion rings looking for a “Shane.” No one is answering. When she reaches my area:)

Me: “Could that possibly be for Sheena?”

Worker: “No, it says, ‘Shane.’”

(She heads back to the kitchen. The guy at the next table has been watching all this, so I comment:)

Me: “I bet you that was my order.”

(Over the next ten minutes or so, I hear the workers in the kitchen occasionally saying something about “Shane,” and then an announcement over the intercom saying that if there’s a Shane in the store, could he please come to the cafeteria. A few minutes later, the cashier who originally took my order marches into the seating area, comes over to me, and asks:)

Cashier: “Are you Sheena?”

Me: “Yes.”

(She rolls her eyes, hands me my order, and stalks off back to the kitchen.)

Me: *to the guy at the next table* “Told you that was my order.”

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Makes You Want To (Ice) Scream

, , , | Learning | April 13, 2018

(I’m supervising kids on the school’s small playground. Nearby, two boys conclude a game as one is being picked up by a parent. Right away, the remaining boy begins circling the playground, loudly calling out in a sing-sing voice.)

Child: “Who wants… to play… with me? Who wants… to play… with me?”

(I find it unusual that he’s advertising for a playmate like this, but he isn’t harming anyone, so I let it go. However, after he repeats it nonstop 20 or 30 times in the same bored voice and sing-song cadence, the sound starts to wear me down. I realize that he isn’t looking for a friend, but bored and filling the space with a repeated noise, as kids will sometimes do. I also notice that the other kids are eyeing him, also tired of his chanting. Either I need to say something to him or they will, and I doubt they’ll be diplomatic.)

Me: “[Child], could you pick an activity to do? There are lots to choose from.”

(He turns and immediately finds someone to play with. They disappear into a playhouse, and I can see through the little windows that they’ll probably set up a pretend shop inside. I’m relieved that this situation resolved quickly, and that the chanting is over. The child appears in the window of the playhouse and I hear the same bored voice and sing-song cadence.)

Child: “Who wants… some… ice cream?”

(Sigh.)

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The Gift That Keeps On Demanding

, , , , | Right | April 13, 2018

(After I’ve gotten the caller’s information, she asks the following.)

Caller: “I placed a $60 order earlier today, and I wanted to add one of your free gifts to it.”

Me: “Okay. What is the coupon code for your free gift?”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t have a coupon; I wanted you to just add a free gift.”

Me: “I will check and see if we have any that you qualify for.”

(I go to the coupon page on our website to see if there are any that her order qualifies for. As I’m checking that, she continues.)

Caller: “The last time I ordered, she added two free gifts to my order for me.”

(Her last order was for over $200, so it’s quite likely that she did qualify for two free gift coupons.)

Me: “I apologize; the lowest coupon amount that we have on our website is $99, and your order is only $58. If there are any more items you need to order, we can add them on to bring up your order total.”

Caller: “Don’t you have another coupon that you can add for me? Or just send out a free gift as a gesture of good will because we’re such good customers?”

(Her company averages about $300 a year in purchases. Our “good customers” spend $10,000+ per year.)

Me: “I apologize; I do not have any coupons outside of the ones available on our website. And I am not able to add a free gift to an order that doesn’t qualify for any of our free gift coupons.”

Caller: “I guess I need to talk to a supervisor, then, because you should just send us a free gift in appreciation for being such good customers.”

(I transfer her to one of our supervisors. About ten minutes later, that supervisor gets my attention.)

Supervisor #1: “She told me we should send her a free gift as a good will gesture because they’re such good customers. I told her we couldn’t do that, and she asked to talk to someone else, so I transferred her to [Supervisor #2]. [Supervisor #2] transferred her to [Supervisor #3], who ended up sending her information up to the president’s office. If they give it to her, all three of us will be lodging a complaint with [Manager].”

(Since I have the customer’s information in my call log, I look up her account a couple of hours later.)

Me: “Hey, [Supervisor #1]. They gave it to her.”

Supervisor #1: “I know. I also reported to [Manager] and am typing up a report right now.”

(The free gift was noted on her account as a “one time accommodation,” but we all know she’s going to ask for one again next time, under the “they did it for me last time” rule.)

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Not Very Personable

, , | Right | April 12, 2018

(I volunteer at a thrift store that supports a local animal shelter. We have recently gone through a change in managers. Our previous manager was asked to step down due to not being a people person. She’s a nice enough lady once you get to know her, but can be extremely blunt, and we got some complaints. I’m helping a customer carry her bags out to her car.)

Customer: “You really do have a nice store here.”

Me: “Thank you; we try.”

Customer: “Especially since you no longer have that manager.” *laughs, then looks at me expectantly*

Me: *frozen in shock for a moment* “I… like [Previous Manager].”

Customer: “Well, she was very rude and mean.”

Me: “She’s kind of brusque, but she never meant to be mean. It’s just her personality.”

Customer: “Well, you can’t have personalities in the service industry. Especially in a place that runs on donations.”

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This Employee Has A Hex(Core) On You

, , , , | Working | April 12, 2018

(The guitar tech at the locally-owned music store my friends and I frequent has a reputation for being very reliable and knowledgeable, but also snobbish. He has a tendency to make you feel silly for not knowing what he knows about guitar. I generally try to avoid him for routine stuff. I swing into the store to buy some strings, which are in racks behind the counter.)

Employee: “What brand and gauge can I grab for you?”

Me: “Well, first, I’m actually wanting a specific kind, and I know they’re not the normal kind. I just read about them… hex core?”

Employee: *looks over rack* “Hmm. I’m not seeing any that say they’re hex core. Give me a second to run into the next room and I’ll ask [Guitar Guy].”

Me: *shoulders slump; I didn’t make it*

Employee: *coming back* “[Guitar Guy] says all strings are hex core unless they’re labeled round core.”

(I realize my error in that I’d swapped hex and round core strings. I bought some round core and left. Later I ran into one of my friends who knows about that store and I told him what happened.)

Friend: “Man, he wasn’t even in the same room and he still got you! Amazing!”

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