Carry You To Great Heights

, , , , , | Working | October 25, 2017

(I’m tiny, at 5’2”, with a baby face. Despite being in my mid-20s, I get mistaken for a high-schooler or even middle-schooler all the time. My coworker is around six feet tall, and has a mature face with a stocky build. The following happens a lot.)

Manager: “[Coworker], help this customer with a carryout.”

Coworker: “I’m disabled and can’t lift more than 20 pounds.”

Me: “I can! Let me do the carryout.”

Manager: “No, I’ll find someone else.”

(Later on, I am carrying a heavy item for a customer.)

Manager: “Oh, [My Name]! You shouldn’t be carrying that! I’ll get [Disabled Coworker] to do that.”

Me: “He can’t lift more than 20 pounds.”

Manager: *already gone*

Coworker: *later* “[Manager] asked me to do a carryout for you. Again.”

Me: “I wonder when they’ll remember that I have to carry my sister’s wheelchair up and down a flight of stairs every day.”

Pogo Bounce Out Of That Marriage

, , , , , , , , | Related | October 25, 2017

I’m the lead singer in a metal band that does both original songs and covers. When my brother got engaged, his bridezilla fiancée asked my band to perform at the wedding. At some point she realized that they were going over budget, so her solution to cut back on costs was to tell us at the very last minute that she expected us to work for free because I was family and therefore “obligated,” even though we had already agreed to work at a discount because we were playing for a family event. I was furious, and the only reason we didn’t cancel was because it would have been too late for them to find a replacement and I love my brother and didn’t want to ruin his wedding.

Between her refusal to pay us, her constant treating of my brother and our family members like crap, her refusal to make me a bridesmaid solely on the grounds that I wasn’t “pretty enough”, meaning I’m tomboyish, and several underhanded insults she levied at one of my bandmates for being a transman, we were all very displeased with her come the morning of the wedding. She was either oblivious to our displeasure, or she just didn’t care.

While we were setting up, an hour before we were supposed to play, the bride came up to us, stood in our way, and suddenly announced that she didn’t like our chosen set because it wasn’t “romantic enough,” even though she and my brother both approved of it in advance. She was apparently under the impression that musicians can learn songs on the fly without practice or having ever performed them before, and asked us to play the Celine Dion song from Titanic, to which our drummer replied, “You realize we’re a f****** metal band, right?”

Our bass guitarist suddenly had a light-bulb moment and told her that he knew a love song we could play for her. She got excited and told us to play that one first. When she walked away and he told us what song he had in mind, we all agreed it was a great idea.

When it came time for our set to start, we opened up with a cover of “Bounce” by System of a Down, which is technically a love song. I don’t think I ever saw my brother’s fiancée run so fast, in heels, and my brother was dying of laughter.

After the wedding, we found out my brother didn’t even know that she had decided not to pay us, and he made sure we got paid, even though his new wife insisted that we didn’t even deserve it for ruining her wedding with our stunt.

They got divorced just two months later, because it turns out that when you marry someone who’s controlling and abusive, they don’t stop being controlling and abusive. No one was really surprised at the divorce, and my brother cited our spontaneous song choice as his only good memory of the wedding, anyway.

Getting Your Panty-hose In A Twist Over A Dollar

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2017

(I work at a major retail store and we have some clearance items right now. Unfortunately, things get moved around a lot, or they are put in the right spot but don’t receive new stickers or have their prices updated in our system. The higher-ups at my job have decided that even if that is the case, we are only allowed to sell them for what the current sticker says. A lady comes in and is getting a bunch of clearance pantyhose and shape-wear.)

Customer: *as I’m ringing up the first item* “These were all on clearance on a $1 rack. Can you make sure they ring up properly?”

Me: “It looks like this one rang up fine.”

(I ring through a few more identical items and they ring up the same. I get to another item and it is marked at $2. I ring it up and it, as I thought, comes up as $2.)

Customer: “That’s not supposed to be $2.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to change the price on it. I am only allowed to sell it for the price marked on it.”

Customer: *becoming frustrated* “But it was on the shelf marked $1. Can’t you do something about it? I spend thousands of dollars here every year. Can’t you change it because it was in the wrong spot?”

(I say nothing and decide it would be easier if I don’t argue with her; we wouldn’t want to lose her “thousands” of dollars.)

Customer: “Thank you; that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Me: “…”

Sorry, Not F****** Sorry

, , , , , , | Working | October 25, 2017

(I work in a toy store and, as expected, kids are almost always in the store. The store is fairly small, and there are no aisles. As this happens, there are a few kids around.)

Me: “Hey, welcome to [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve come to look for something for my daughter.”

(I go and I show him where the girls’ section is. He sees a box he likes, and while talking about it and asking about it, multiple times he curses, all in the matter of half a minute or so.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. I don’t mean to be rude, but could you please refrain from cursing as there are children around?”

Customer: “Okay, and don’t correct me again.”

(He grabs the box and heads over to the register, where I ring him out. I offer him our rewards card.)

Customer: “Yeah, no, I don’t want it. I really don’t want to be around you.”

(I am mildly offended, but complete the transaction quickly. The customer walks out. At this point, I usually say things like, “have a good one,” or whatever, but he is definitely in a bad mood. A minute after, my manager points out that it was good of me to ask him to refrain from cursing, but due to my attention issues, I didn’t realize that I had gone on for about fifteen seconds about not cursing, which in my head felt like I said it once. He says to consider it a learning experience, and tells me that it isn’t really my fault that the guy reacted so rudely. I feel like crap automatically, and hope the customer will come back in so I can apologize to him.)

Me: *answers the phone with usual greeting of place and name* “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hey, uh, [My Name], f*** you. We clear?”

(I fall dead silent out of shock and hang up, walking towards the back room where I tell my manager what just happened.)

Manager: “What an a**hole.”

(Let’s just say I’m not sorry anymore.)

Seize Any Opportunity

, , , , , | Right | October 25, 2017

(I’m not a paramedic, but I am trained to deal with epilepsy and seizures. While at a store, a customer starts having a seizure. I rush over and start helping, when someone else jumps in.)

Customer #1: “Give him CPR!”

Me: “He doesn’t need CPR; his heart is fine.”

Customer #1: “He’ll stop breathing. Move out of the way!”

Me: “He’s having a seizure!”

Customer #1: “Move! I’ll help him!”

(He tries pushing me out of the way, but instead falls on the ground.)

Customer #1:She hurt me! So much pain!”

Customer #2: “Dude, I saw what happened. Get away from her!”

(He grumbled a bit and left. The customer on the floor was fine, and did not need CPR.)

Page 593/640First...591592593594595...Last