A Very Stinky Delivery

, , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(I’m in the cash office and answer the phone.)

Me: “[Store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you do home delivery?”

Me: “We personally don’t, but I have a business card for someone who does.” *gives info*

Customer: “Oh, I don’t want her. She charges.”

Me: “Well, yes. I mean, it is her job, so she probably charges for the service.”

Customer: *growing irate* “Well, what am I supposed to do, then? My legs hurt and I’m out of toilet paper!”

Me: “I really don’t know what to tell you, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I’ll just wipe my a** with my hand, then!”

Me: *hangs up*

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Sale Gone Stale

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(I work at a popular candle and fragrance store. I am helping a customer and her daughter with their products. Everything is going fine, and the mother is really polite, until it comes to checking out.)

Customer: “Oh! Do you have any coupons?”

Me: “You can always check your email or [Specific Website]. That’s the only one we accept.”

(We say this because other websites steal our coupons and change the sku for the customer’s transaction to come out as $0. I see that she starts Googling for coupons. She shows me one that I can’t accept.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t take that one. We only accept your email, or [Specific Website].”

(She starts Googling again a few more times, and then gets frustrated at me for not taking other coupons I can’t accept, despite me repeating the only ones we do accept. She throws her bag of products onto the cash-wrap.)

Customer: *angrily* “Then never mind! Just ring my stuff up.”

(I just smile at her and ring all her things. I see that she is getting two large candles, but they’re not the ones for sale. I tell her her total. She looks on the screen to make sure everything is correct. Then she looks up at me.)

Customer: “Why am I paying $22.50 for each candle?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s the smaller candles for sale.”

(She pushes the candle towards me.)

Customer: “Take it off! I don’t want it!”

(I smiled at her and told her I would happily do that for her. Her daughter looked at me, embarrassed, and I just smiled at her. Her mom swiped her card and tried walking away. I told her that she had to answer a few questions. After she was done, she walked away angrily, leaving her receipt, her daughter, and her bag of products. She yelled for her daughter to grab her things as she walked out the door. A few weeks later, she came in again and didn’t make eye contact with me.)

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Could You Mocha Trim That Order Down A Little?

, , , | Right | October 2, 2018

(I work in a university cafe, so we often get large takeaway orders for an office of people. One woman comes straight to the counter in a hurry while I’m just drying my hands at the sink.)

Customer: “I need one mocha trim, long black, decaf soy latte…”

(She lists about 10 or 12 coffees, ordered at triple speed. I run over to the counter at about the fourth coffee and start frantically trying to log into the till and input the coffees.)

Me: “I’m sorry, can you please slow down a little and repeat those orders?”

Customer: “I just told you what I wanted; I can’t remember them all!”

Me: “Okay… I picked up on a long black, two mochas, three lattes… What sizes and what milk were for these?”

Customer: “Well, how should I know? They’re not all for me!”

Me: “Um… Well, do you have the orders written down? We wouldn’t want anyone to miss out.”

Customer: “God! Of course I don’t! And I’m not going all the way back to the office to get the orders again! Can you just make what I already told you?!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I didn’t catch everything you ordered. If you could please get the order again, written down, I can give you a free coffee card for your trouble.”

(The woman rolled her eyes in a huff and snatched the free coffee card from my hand as she went to walk up one flight of stairs to the office to retake everyone’s orders. Unfortunately, this is a recurring issue and nobody ever seems to learn from the first time.)

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Stop Trying To Sell Me Stuff And Just Sell Me Stuff!

, , , | Right | October 2, 2018

(I work at a highly popular lingerie and clothing store. We are supposed to AT LEAST greet every customer who walks in. We have special sales goals for our own aid, but we don’t receive any commission. A woman walks in.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I’m great. What are your specials for today?”

(There are at least three promotions today. One is on our new perfume.)

Me: “Well, one thing is if you spend $85, then you get this bag for free!”

(The customer smiles and nods.)

Me: “Also, have you tried our new fragrance?”

Customer: *holds her hand in my face* “Stop trying to sell me stuff!!”

(I apologize and head up to the register to help another customer. I see the first customer walk up behind the woman I’m currently speaking with.)

Me: *explaining sale to current customer* “So, if you don’t want an entire bottle, the rollerball of the perfume is only $10 today!”

Original Rude Customer: “YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THEY WERE ONLY $10!”

Me: “You didn’t let me finish!”

(She began to pout, and we finished the transaction in silence.)

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That’s Exactly What “Expired” Means

, , , , , | Right | October 2, 2018

(I work in the grooming salon at a popular pet supply store. It’s a fairly normal day, not too busy, so when a walk-in comes in I’m more than happy to help. The salon requires all pets over four months of age to have updated rabies vaccinations for any and all services; if the rabies vaccines have expired or aren’t in our system yet, we require pet parents to bring proof of rabies paperwork. For legal purposes, a rabies tag isn’t acceptable for documentation.)

Me: “All right, it says here that your dog’s rabies vaccines expired in May of last year. If those vaccinations are up to date now, we’ll need proof of rabies paperwork before we can get him checked in.”

Customer: “Well, they should be all up to date. I didn’t bring paperwork with me. I’ve never been asked for it before.”

(This is clearly not true, since the past vaccine dates are in the system. Nonetheless, I offer to call her vet’s office to get verbal confirmation over the phone. I’m on hold for about fifteen minutes, which is fine, but at the end the vet just confirms that the rabies shots have not been administered since last time and the dogs are overdue by a year. I tell the woman this.)

Customer: *getting visibly angry* “No, they’re not expired! I just have to get them done again! So, what, because those shots aren’t up to date, he just has rabies now? This is bulls***! I’ve never been asked for rabies paperwork before! If you change your policies, you need to tell your customers! You know what? We’ll see about this!”

(She marched out of the salon and into the store. When my salon manager got to work that day, she told me that the woman had bypassed speaking to a store manager and actually called corporate to complain. Nothing came of it; the policy’s always been that way. I was just doing my job.)

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