Deaf Becomes Her

, , , , , | Romantic | August 30, 2018

I heard this story from a bookstore clerk. He told me he had been working in the bookstore for a couple weeks when, on a Saturday morning, this couple came in. The wife started browsing the shelves, while the husband, a French gentleman, stood by the counter chatting with the clerk. When the wife came back to speak to the husband, the clerk noticed how rude she was, speaking loudly, almost screaming at him.

Later, he talked about the couple to the bookstore owner, saying how impressed he was with the husband, who had a very interesting and intelligent conversation, and the wife’s manner, mainly the way she yelled at him. The owner said, “Oh, that’s my friend, Mr. [Friend]. His wife is annoying as h***, so to avoid as much conversation with her as he can, he pretends to be deaf.”

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Anger Levels Are Escalating

, , , , | Right | August 30, 2018

(I work in a department store with escalators that are constantly breaking down. The corporate office finally decides to do a complete overhaul, which requires one of the two to be shut down for up to six weeks. I, unfortunately, work in the middle of the store right by the broken-down escalator.)

Customer: “How the h*** do I get upstairs?”

Me: “Sir, the up escalator is working, and there is also the elevator in the middle that can take you upstairs.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! You people are just going to send us up there with no way to get back down?!”

Me: *pausing to understand his irrational anger*

Customer: “Well? How the h*** do I get back down?”

Me: “Sir, the elevator goes down as well as up, but if you don’t not wish to use the elevator to go down, there are emergency stairs you can use, as well. Just let someone know when you are ready to come down and they will assist you.”

Customer: *walking off in a huff* “This is f****** ridiculous.”

(This is going to be a long six weeks.)

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A Sign You’re One Of The Good Ones

, , , , , | Right | August 30, 2018

(We’ve had a new gas station open recently that is between two cities, so it gets a lot of traffic. I have stopped there for the first time since it opened two months ago.)

Cashier: “Paying with card? Our chip reader doesn’t work, so you’ll have to insert your card three times, and then swipe.”

Me: “Yikes, I bet you get a lot of complaints about that.”

Cashier: “We do. We’re used to it by now. What’s worse is they sent us replacement card readers, and the chips were broken in them, as well.”

Me: “Are they going to send you any more of them soon?”

Cashier: “We hope so.”

(Two weeks later, I go in, and there is a note taped to the reader, explaining how to use it. There is a guy in front of me trying to use it, but he is getting frustrated; he jerks his card out, swipes, then puts it back in over and over.)

Cashier: “Sir, you have to insert it three times, and then swipe when it gives you the prompt.”

Guy: “I know what I’m doing. I have the chip. It’s supposed to read the chip!” *inserts, gets error, then swipes card* “Why is this stupid thing not working? I don’t have any cash on me! You should fix these stupid things.”

Me: “They sent new ones, but those were broken, as well. Any word on the newer ones yet?”

Cashier: “Nothing yet. Sir, do you want me to do it for you?”

Guy: “I can do this!”

(The second register gets opened, since the line is growing now, and I go to that register, instead.)

Me: “Hmm, got an error. The sign says to reinsert card a second time. Hmm, got a second error, I’ll reinsert card a third time, like the sign says. Okay, I got my third error, and now it says to swipe the card.” *sure enough, it goes through, and I’m given my receipt* “Thank goodness they put a sign beside the card reader telling me how to check out!”

(The next time I went in and my cashier friend was there, she told me the guy went red in the face and had no problem getting his card to read after that.)

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I’m Gonna Spell It Out For You

, , , , , | Right | August 29, 2018

(There is a regular who always makes a big deal of making her order and spelling out her name in a very slow, condescending tone. When I am resolved to leave for another job, I finally have had enough of it.)

Customer: “I’ll have the [usual]. That’s the [uuuuuuuuuusual], okay? And that’s for Pam. That’s Peeeeeeeeeeeee, Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy, Emmmm—”

Me: “Hold on; slow down. B?”

Customer: *huffily* “AHEM, PEEEEEEeeeeee! Ayyyy—”

Me: “Whoa, whoa. D?”

Customer: “PEEEEEEE—”

Me: “G?”

Customer: *turning red* “P!”

Me: “Steve?”

Customer: “NO, it’s PAM!”

Me: “Oh, Pa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aaam.”

(She glared at me, snatched her ticket without another word, and moved on down the line. The next time she started in, I played dumb again and wrote down her name as “Pem” with a backwards E.)

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Allergic To Bad Nurses

, , , , , | Healthy | August 29, 2018

I have been dating my boyfriend for a few years. He is allergic to nuts. Eating them makes him very sick, so since we started dating I have stayed away from nuts, out of fear of cross contamination making him sick.

This particular day my work was doing a bake sale for charity. One of the things for sale was a Reese’s Pieces brownie, with whole chunks of peanut. I was very happy to have a place where it would be safe for me to have peanuts, so I bought one and ate it straight away.

Pretty much instantly I thought that my tongue felt a bit strange, but being an idiot I thought it was just my imagination and I ate that brownie in about half a minute.

In the next few minutes my thoughts went from, “My mouth feels a little strange,” to, “It’s definitely getting harder to breathe.” I mentioned this to my manager, a first aider, but she thought I was joking. So I went to the receptionist, also a first aider, and mentioned it to her. She realised I wasn’t joking and panicked, running to get my manager.

An ambulance was called and the staff sat with me as I waited and waited, in discomfort, and with no idea if it was going to get any worse. I vaguely remember joking to the baker that “these brownies are killer.” I thought it was funny at the time. Pretty sure she didn’t.

After about 45 minutes with no ambulance, they called 999 again. That’s when we found out that the first ambulance couldn’t find their way into the office block — through the clearly-marked entrance — so they just gave up.

The second ambulance came, and a decision to go to hospital was made, considering that I had no history of an allergy.

We got to A & E and it was unsurprisingly busy. The paramedics were told to put me in resus until another bed cleared, as there was a space in there. They gave me antihistamines and steroids, and by this point I was feeling a lot better, but a secondary reaction was possible, so I still needed an eye on me.

That’s when a nurse came in with a face like thunder, took one look at me, and declared to the whole room at full volume, “She’s not sick! She shouldn’t be in here!”

She repeated this several times, while I just sat there nervously; I’m anxious enough most days, without someone telling me off for being somewhere I have no control over. I had no idea how to respond, so I just sat there ignoring her. She wasn’t doing anything except look at me and make these comments again and again.

Eventually they found a normal bed to put me in, and I got moved, but as they moved me, she declared to the medics and porters around her, “See?! I told you she’s not sick!”

A later blood test confirmed that I had developed a peanut allergy at 23. Luckily I didn’t have a secondary reaction, and it was a pretty easy lifestyle change to avoid, since I was already avoiding them for my partner.

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