A Reversal Of Fortune

, , , , , | Right | January 24, 2018

(I’m a female on-call locksmith. It is 3:00 am, in -16-degree weather. I go to the car that the person has been locked out of. I make them sign the paperwork, and I pop the lock in under five minutes.)

Customer: “Wait! Why should I pay $150 for something that only took you two seconds?!”

Me: “Because you couldn’t do it yourself.”

Customer: “You b****! I’m not paying this! I’m going to dispute the charges!”

Me: “Well, in that case…”

(I take the keys and throw them back into the car, lock the door, and slam it shut.)

Me: “Have a good night.”

Customer: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “You just said you were going to reverse the charges, so I’m reversing the job.”

(I got chewed out so hard for that, but it was worth it.)

1 Thumbs
2,328

Cart Yourself Away, Fast

, , , , , | Friendly | January 23, 2018

(My mother is at the grocery store with my brothers, who are only a few years old. Both of them have been fussy all day, which makes my mother super irritable. As she pushes her cart full of groceries around, a random woman comes up to her.)

Woman: “Ah, this is exactly what I need.”

(The woman then proceeds to REACH INTO the cart and grab an item.)

Mom: “WHAT THE H*** DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

Woman: *drops the item* “I… I need this.”

Mom: “THEN YOU GO FIND IT YOURSELF, AND DON’T TAKE MINE!”

(The woman ran away.)

1 Thumbs
736

Grandma Is Not Always Right

, , , , , | Related | January 23, 2018

(My fiancé, his grandmother, and I go on a trip to the nearby city for some errands and end up in a well-known pizza place. After placing our order, my fiancé’s grandmother waits about ten minutes and then starts complaining.)

Grandma: “What is taking them so long?”

Fiancé: “Shouldn’t be much longer.”

Grandma: “Look at all these people! We should have just ordered like them and got the buffet.”

Fiancé: “You wanted leftovers to take home, Grandma.”

(At this point a waitress, not our waitress, walks by.)

Grandma: “Excuse me! I said, ‘Excuse me!’”

Other Waitress: “Yes?”

Me: “She’s not our waitress, [Grandma].”

Grandma: “Do you know how much longer for our food? If it’s not ready yet, I want the order cancelled.”

Me: “She’s not our waitress; she wouldn’t know about our order.”

Other Waitress: “I’m not sure, ma’am. I can certainly have a look.”

(The other waitress leaves and literally as she walks away, our waitress brings our food. There has been a total wait time of 20 minutes for two pizzas and a calzone.)

Grandma: “Fin—”

Me: *cutting her off* “Those look amazing! Thank you so much.”

1 Thumbs
389

Totally Toothless Parenting

, , , , , | Healthy | January 23, 2018

(I’m a dentistry student. At my university, we work in different services every half-day. Thursday morning is when I work with kids. A dad comes in with his two-year-old. The kid starts crying the moment he sees the dentist chair, and I know I’m not going to be able to do anything on him, because putting rotating metal things in the mouth of an uncooperative and squirmy two-year-old is dangerous for both him and me. In the patient’s file, I see that the dad was supposed to have taken an appointment with a teacher to have his kid sedated. He obviously hasn’t done so, because I’m the one taking care of him. I can’t even get a good look at the kid’s teeth, because he won’t open his mouth and he keeps crying. I tell the dad that he absolutely needs an appointment with sedation, or else we won’t be able to take care of his kid.)

Dad: “But they’re only baby teeth; it doesn’t matter if they have cavities!”

Me: “If the infection gets out of hand, the adult teeth could get infected, as well, and come out black and rotten. Not to mention that the bone could be eaten away by the bacteria.”

Dad: “So, what should I do?”

Me: “I can’t do anything right now with him in this state, but with sedation we could try it. He needs to be on an empty stomach, though.”

Dad: “Why?”

Me: “Because if not, he could throw up and drown himself.”

Dad: “Sure, but I come from [City not even 15 minutes away]; I don’t have time for this!”

(I call my professor to examine the child, and together we manage to put a temporary solution on the kid’s teeth. It involves a lot of crying and screaming, with an uncooperative dad that doesn’t want to hold his child, and keeps interrupting us to “go for a walk in the hallway” with his kid.)

Me: “Well, that should slow the cavities down, but keep brushing his teeth regularly.”

Dad: “Oh, he doesn’t brush his teeth.”

Me: “I know. He’s two; you’re supposed to do it.”

Dad: “Well, I don’t.”

Me: “You’re supposed to. I don’t suppose he dresses himself yet, either, but still, he’s not naked now. Same thing: you’re the one who made him, so you’re the one who should brush his teeth until he’s old enough to do it himself.”

1 Thumbs
666

No ID, No Idea, Part 33

, , , , | Right | January 23, 2018

(In Alberta, it’s illegal to be in a liquor store without your ID, regardless of age, unless you’re accompanied by a parent or guardian. Most people use their driver’s licence as ID, and it’s illegal to drive without it. Breaking either law warrants a steep fine. The store I work at checks the ID of anyone who appears to be under 25. I’ve only been on shift for an hour, but I’ve already had to turn away six people who have been unable to show me their ID, and I’m starting to get frustrated.)

Me: “Could I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “Uh… I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that. I forgot it. But c’mon! You should remember me. I’m here almost every day!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t serve you without ID.”

Customer: “You should remember me! I buy beer here all the time! Don’t I look familiar?”

Me: “Sir, it’s not legal for you to be in here without it. I need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Nah, you don’t, since you remember who I am! If you remember me, I don’t need it. I come in all the time.”

(I’ve had enough. I cover my nametag with my hand.)

Me: “Sir, I’ll sell you your beer right now, if you can tell me what my name is.”

Customer: “Uh… I don’t know. I don’t pay attention to nametags. How should I know what your name is?”

Me: “Well, if you’re in here all the time, then you must remember me, right? Look: I’ve served about 100 customers per day, five days per week, for the last eight years. I don’t remember most of them. If you don’t have your ID, you need to leave.”

Customer: “FINE!”

(He proceeded to get in his vehicle and peel off, presumably without his licence. I hope the cops pulled him over for speeding and driving without a licence!)

Related:

No ID, No Idea, Part 32
No ID, No Idea, Part 31
No ID, No Idea, Part 30

1 Thumbs
630