Their Service Is 0.5 Better Than The Rest

, , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I am helping a young man and his father find new shoes for school.)

Son: “Do you have these in a size 10?”

Me: “I’ll check.”

(I go to and return from stock room.)

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have a 10. I have the same shoe in a 9.5 or a 10.5, though, and I brought them if you want to try either on.”

Father: “What do you mean you don’t have a 10? What kind of place is this?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We are currently sold out of that size, but I do have either a half-size bigger or smaller here with me.”

Son: “I’ll try them on.”

Father: “NO! We wanted the size 10! I will not be shopping here for my son’s school shoes again! Do you have another location close by?”

Me: “No. Our closest location is an eight-hour drive away, but you could check at [Competitor] that is also in this mall.”

Father: “They’ll probably have better service than you!”

(They leave and come back about an hour later, the father looking very unhappy.)

Son: “Can I just get those shoes in the 10.5?”

(The competitor has a reputation in our town for having poor-quality customer service.)

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Not Berry Nice

, , , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I work at a grocery store that is undergoing renovation, set to end a few weeks before Christmas. There are many “moments,” but this one takes the everlasting chocolate fudge cake. By this point, we have finished the remodel, and it is January, when this guy decides to yell at a coworker and me.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah. Why were you doing all this construction with people still in the store?”

Me: “Sir, during the remodel we closed the store at nine pm when the construction guys came in to work overnight, so there would be less of an inconvenience to our customers.”

Customer: *shouting in our faces* “Well, it was an inconvenience! You remodeled for six months! You should have just closed the whole d*** store while it was under construction!”

(He storms off before I can reply that we need our paychecks from working here, and there is no union.)

Coworker: *whispering to me* “What. The. F***?”

(About six months later, I found out from a woman who knew that customer that he was banished from the local ski mountain for being irritating and rude to their employees, and he was also a trust-funder who hadn’t worked a day in his life. As for the groceries that he found it annoying to buy during our renovation? BERRIES. And, he refuses to buy our strawberries if they’re not on sale. This guy still comes in, and is still an annoying a**hole.)

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Very Accessible Back-Stabbing

, , , , , | Working | February 13, 2018

(I have to lay out a section at my job. I know I have to make everything accessible for our customers and I have tested it myself. The job needs to be complete for an inspection by our very strict owner. As I’m finishing, my manager comes along and decides to move one of the shelves I have put up so she can put other stock up high on the fixtures. I do feel a bit miffed that she’s changed my work but I don’t say anything. I tidy up where I am and go to move a basket where she is, but she tells me she’s still using it. That evening, I am relating a dream to a friend, who tells me that the meaning to that dream is that I have to keep an eye out for someone who’s about to stab me in the back. I get in after the owner has done his inspection and has already left.)

Manager: “[Owner] wasn’t very happy with how you left things. I had to tell him it was you who did that job. He said the work was unacceptable, so he wants to take it further, and I have to give you a verbal warning.”

Me: “Why? What was wrong with it?”

Manager: “You put the stock much too high for customers to reach.”

Me: “I don’t think I did; I’m not tall and the edges of the top shelves were at my head level. I didn’t have to stretch to take anything off them.”

Manager: “Well, what about how high the shelf with [items] on it is? Oh, wait a minute. I moved that, didn’t I? But what about [items]?” *I raise one eyebrow* “Oh, I did that, too, didn’t I? But what about the basket that was left on the floor?” *I keep my eyebrow raised and cross my arms* “Oh, that was me, too, wasn’t it?”

(I have no idea whether she’s recorded that she’s given me a verbal warning, but as I walk out of the office, much more miffed than I was last night, she still throws a little dig in.)

Manager: “So, you now know that you have to keep to the standards that [Owner] expects, don’t you? No excuses.”

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I’ve Told Them A Brazillion Times

, , , , , | Friendly | February 13, 2018

(My friend was born in Brazil. When he first moved to Australia, he spoke no English, but has since become fluent. This is a conversation I’ve witnessed a few too many times.)

Person: “So, you speak Brazilian, right?”

Friend: “There’s no such language as Brazilian. Brazilian people speak Portuguese.”

Person: “Why do Brazilians speak Portuguese instead of Brazilian? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Friend: “Why do Australians speak English instead of Australian? That doesn’t make any sense.”

(At this point, the other person’s mind usually implodes a little.)

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Pepperoni, Cheese, And A Lacking Understanding Of How Time Works

, , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(There is a big sport event near our restaurant. We are packed the whole day. In our restaurant, you pay your order beforehand at a counter. A customer with two kids orders three pizzas, and I inform them about our 40-minute wait. The customer seems to understand this and is fine with the wait. After 20 minutes, the customer comes to me at the counter.)

Customer: “We have waited at least an hour! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “I am terribly sorry for the wait. As you can see, we are full.”

Customer: “My kids are hungry! How dare you keep us waiting this long?! We are in a hurry, and we have waited an hour for just three pizzas!”

Me: “I am so sorry, ma’am. I’ll ask from the kitchen how your order is doing.”

(As I turn around, the chef puts the customer’s pizzas out, ready to be taken to tables.)

Me: “Good news! Your pizzas are ready, and I’ll take them to your table right now.”

Customer: “No! We have waited so long, and we need to get going! I am not eating those pizzas here; we do not have time!”

Me: “How about I put them in pizza boxes, so you can take them with you and eat on your way? Again, I am very sorry for the wait.”

Customer: “No, no! We don’t have time! I want a refund!”

Me: “It really takes almost no time at all for me to pack your pizzas, ma’am, so if you’ll–“

Customer: “I want a refund! I don’t care about those f****** pizzas anymore!”

(I do as the customer asks and start making the refund. It takes a bit of time, as the customer paid with credit card, so our system won’t allow us to refund in cash.)

Me: “Okay, now the money is back in your account. Please take some coffee as you go; it is free of charge for you. Again, I am very sorry about this.”

Customer: “You should be! Now my kids will be very hungry when we drive back home!”

(The customer left and I had to throw away their perfectly good pizzas.)

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