Return Of The Couponater

, , , , , , | Right | October 13, 2017

(We’re having our big spring sale and the store is very busy. A man comes up to my register and I ring up over $200 worth of merchandise for him. He shows me his phone with a popular third-party coupon collection app pulled up and a one-word coupon code listed. We currently only have one in-store coupon out, and that’s definitely not it.)

Me: “I’m sorry; that looks like an online-only coupon. I can try it, but I don’t think it’ll work.”

(I type in the code and, as expected, a message pops up stating that the discount cannot be used in-store.)

Customer: “You mean to tell me that your company puts out coupons that can only be used online and not in the store?”

Me: “Actually, a lot of companies do that. The online store often has different sales than we do.”

Customer: “So, you’re saying that I could buy all of this crap online for a cheaper price, because that’s the only way this coupon will work?”

Me: “Well, not exactly. We’re having a big sale right now in the store. I can almost guarantee that everything online is full price, plus you’d have to pay for shipping. That’s why they put out those codes, in order to get you to order the full-priced items online. I think you’re getting a better deal in the store, even without the coupon.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? This is no way to run a business!”

Me: “I’m really sorry. I can offer you the in-store coupon we do have right now for $15 off your purchase, but that’s all I can do.”

Customer: “Fine. Add that on, and I’ll look up another coupon.”

(I try to explain that coupons don’t usually combine like that, but the customer ignores me. He then proceeds to spend the next ten minutes staring at his phone, looking through coupons on the third-party app. He finally finds one to his liking, and shows his phone to me again.)

Me: “That coupon gave me the same message: ‘Cannot be used in stores’.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Fine, I’ll just pay for this now. But let me tell you: this is no way to run a business. I don’t know how you guys survive by being this dishonest.”

(The customer ended up coming back a few hours later, having signed up for the email list, which sends a percentage-off coupon. I then had to return his entire purchase, and re-buy it with the new code. Luckily, this one worked!)

Caller Isn’t Operating

, , , , | Right | October 13, 2017

(I work for an Internet service provider, as a tech support operator.)

Me: “Welcome to [Company] support. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can I help today?”

Customer: “Yeah, mate, I can’t get into my computer.”

Me: “Do you mean your Internet? Are you having trouble accessing websites?”

Customer: “No, my computer is asking for a password and I can’t remember what it is!”

Me: “What else do you see on the screen?”

Customer: “It’s all blue with a picture and a box asking for my password.”

Me: *realising what’s going on* “Okay, that sounds like you’re having problems with your operating system. It might be better for you to call [Computer Company], as they are better equipped to handle these kinds of problems.”

Customer: “Why? I’ve called you guys before and you’ve fixed this for me! I want you to fix it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s outside of my power.”

Customer: “This is pathetic; you have to be the worst employee [ISP] has. I have the CEO’s personal number; I’m calling him now to get you fired!” *click*

Me: *stares at my coworker, dumbfounded*

(Six months on, I still have my job.)

Piercing Observation, Part 3

, , , | Working | October 13, 2017

(I live in Sweden and when going home to Portugal, I decide to go to a beauty salon to get my fingernails done. Note that I have a good job in Sweden, and it is apparent that I am a person that enjoys metal and more alternative things, as I have some piercings, dress in black, and wear metal band t-shirts.)

Nail Technician: “What color do you want to paint your nails?”

Me: “Black.”

Nail Technician: “Oh, my black nail polish is a bit ruined. Don’t you want some red or blue instead?”

Me: “Not really. I am not so fond of those colors and the black nail polish is the only thing that works to make me not bite my fingernails.”

Nail Technician: “Okay, then. We can try using it. Why do you have those piercings? They look ridiculous! Don’t your parents complain? You will never get a job like that.”

Me: “I am 30 years old; my parents have nothing to do with it. Besides, I am living 4000 km away from them; they just come visit once in a while. And I have a very good job in Sweden.”

Nail Technician: *interrupting me* “[Coworker], do you want to get lunch after?” *back at me* “You know, my niece has a boyfriend that is manipulating her into those metallic things. Pfft. She’s studying to become a doctor; she needs to have more dignity than that. She wanted to paint her nails black. I didn’t allow her. No one dressed like that and with black fingernails is allowed in my house.”

Me: “It’s not the way a person dresses that makes her a better or worse professional.”

Nail Technician: *very quickly* “Okay, you’re done. Good bye.” *gets up and goes out of the salon*

(In the end, the black nail polish worked flawlessly, surprise! And the job was so quick that I didn’t even have time to get up and leave, even though my blood started to boil.)

For The Record, You’re Not The Favorite

, , , , | Related | October 13, 2017

(My mother always notices favouritism towards her younger sister by her mother. My grandmother gives my mum a record album as a gift. A couple of weeks later:)

Grandmother: “[Mum], where’s that record I gave you?”

Mum: “It’s in the record player; I can put it on if you want.”

Grandmother: “No, I want it back. Your sister just bought a record player and I want to give it to her.”

That’s Your Opinion But No One Asked For It

, , , | Learning | October 12, 2017

That’s Your Opinion But No One Asked For It

 

Middle School, Canada

 

(I teach grade seven, which means I do get a lot of hormonal kids. The best is those that want to be seen as adults, so they pick little fights to showcase their independence. This is amplified by the end of the year with one female student.)

 

Me: “Okay, [Student], remember that survey we did? You had great answers; I just need you to add some missing details.”

 

Student: “Why do I have to add more? I’m done with this. You can’t make me change my opinion; it’s my opinion.”

 

Me: “I didn’t ask you to change your opinion; I’m just saying we need more examples with your work. See here: you wrote a great answer, but the survey asked for an example of how you showcased your answer in the course.”

 

Student: “But it’s my opinion; that’s what I wanted to write. Why do I have to change it?”

 

(The best incident is after a fun field trip for a high school event. One of the high school teachers gives the teachers a bunch of toys to give our kids. This happens when I’m about to give out the toys.)

Me: “Mrs. [Teacher] gave you guys some gifts, which was really nice of her.”

Student: “Ugh, I hate that teacher.”

Me: “I didn’t ask you how you felt about her. I was saying she gave us gifts. Let’s listen—”

Student: “Well, that’s my opinion. You can’t get mad at me for having an opinion.”

Me: “Again, did I say, ‘you need to change your opinion’? No. I said, ‘you need to listen,’ and I didn’t ask what your opinion was, either.”

Student: *yelling* “But it’s my opinion!”

Me: “Okay, you know what? Go to the office.”

Student: “What?”

Me: “You’re distracting others and the lesson with this. Go sit at the study carrel and come back when you’re ready to listen.”

Student: *goes and grabs the office pass in anger* “WHY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO TELL ME TO GO AWAY BUT I CAN’T TELL YOU TO GO AWAY!?”

(She eventually did calm down, but no one was ever trying to get her to change her opinion.)

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