You Pay Like A Girl

, , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(I’m a female heavy-duty mechanic. I get put to work on a customer’s truck that I’ve been warned is a pain in the a**. I get finished with his truck with no problem and bring him over to my service writer to finish paperwork.)

Service Writer: “Please sign here.”

Customer: “Do I get a cheaper price because she’s a girl?”

Me: “…”

Service Writer: No.”

Customer: “Why not? Other places do it.”

(There is a moment of silence as my service writer glares at the man and I focus harder on my paperwork so that I don’t swear at him.)

Service Writer: *finally breaking the silence* “We don’t work like that here.”

Customer: *grumbles and walks away*

Me: “Did he really say that?”

Service Writer: “Yup, and he’s not even paying the bill. His boss is.”

Trying To Fulfill Your Delivery Period

, , , , , , | Working | October 17, 2017

(I work as a delivery driver for a well-known supermarket. I’m 25 and male but quite familiar with the concept of a woman’s period and tampons. I’m training a new driver, and our current customer appears to have placed an “emergency order,” since their shopping only contains a box of tampons, some tea bags, and some chocolate. I look to my trainee and say:)

Me: “Okay, this next customer has a small order, but my advice is be patient. If she doesn’t answer the door right away, give it a few. She probably won’t want to be wound up.”

Trainee: “Why, is she a b****? Have you delivered before?”

Me: “Umm, no. Just look at the receipt, mate; it’s quite obvious what’s going on here.”

(The trainee looks at the receipt long and hard, but it doesn’t appear to sink in. Eventually I take pity on him.)

Me: “She might be on her period; she’s bought tampons, chocolate, and tea.”

Trainee:What!? I ain’t going near that! It’s disgusting!”

(He refused to even leave the van to make the delivery and generally acted like I might have caught some kind of taint just by being around a woman who may or may not have been on her period.)

Turning You Into A Preposition

, , , , , | Learning | October 17, 2017

(It is the first day of school.)

Me: “Hey, where is the cafeteria at?”

Other Student: *snottily* “Never end a sentence with a preposition.”

Me: “Okay, then. Where’s the cafeteria at, b****?”

This Stay Has Not Been Rated

, , , | Right | October 16, 2017

(A very stubborn customer is arguing with us about the prices changing.)

Coworker: “Sir, since you are changing your stay, the rate also changes because there is a lower rate the longer you stay. If you shorten your stay, the rate goes up.”

Customer: “That is BS! That doesn’t make sense! Who puts these darned rules on the rates?! I was told [rate] and I’ll get it; I don’t care if I do shorten my stay or not!”

Coworker: “That would be our manager who set the rules for the rates.”

Customer: “I already talked to him, and he promised me this rate! Now, are you going to give it to me or do I have to go to your competition next door?!”

Me: “Sir, you are welcome to go there!”

Customer: *angrily takes belongings and stomps off, glaring*

(There are only two hotels for miles around, and both are owned by the same company. My coworker and I laughed about that for hours. The next morning, the hotel next door sent us an email saying only “WTF?!”)

Have A Feeling His Buddy Didn’t Pick Up On Purpose

, , , , , | Right | October 16, 2017

(A guest whom I’ve just checked in comes back to the front desk.)

Guest: “Hey, there can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Of course! What can I do for you?”

Guest: “My buddy told me he’s around here somewhere having a beer. Where would that be?”

Me: “Well, there’s quite a few places he could be. There’s a restaurant called [Restaurant] just adjacent to our building. Could that be it?”

Guest: “No, no, no, that’s definitely not it! He mentioned he would be downtown. Any idea where he might be?”

Me: “There’s upwards of 60 bars and restaurants in the downtown area. Why don’t you call your friend and get the name of the establishment? I’d be happy to get you directions.”

(The guest stands at the desk making several unsuccessful phone calls to his friend. He’s now visibly irritated.)

Guest: “He’s not answering his d*** phone! All I want is to see my buddy and wind down with an ice cold beer! Now, where could he be?”

Me: “Like I said, he could be at any one of the 60 restaurants in the area. Without a name of the establishment, I can’t tell you where to go.”

Guest: “Listen here, ma’am. If you were an old man like me and wanted to have a beer, where would you go?”

Me: *I get out a restaurant guide and hand it to the guest* “I’m sure wherever your friend is will be listed in this directory. Good luck!”

(The guest spent the next 15 minutes huffing and puffing in the lobby and fiddling with his phone before he stormed back upstairs to his room.)

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