Following The Rules Is Just Phoning It In

, , , , | Working | November 2, 2017

(I get a call from my girlfriend’s phone saying that it has been found on the bus and has been turned in to the lost and found. I message my girlfriend to let her know. She calls them and learns that they open after she starts work, so she tells them that I will pick up the phone. I go in the next day.)

Me: “I’m here to look for a lost phone.”

Receptionist: “Do you have a reason to believe we have it?”

Me: “I got a call saying the phone had been turned in. I suppose it might not have been turned in yet.”

(The receptionist looks in the box of phones. I describe it and the woman starts handing it to me.)

Receptionist: “Did you lose it on bus [number]?”

Me: “I think that’s the bus she would have been on, yes.”

Receptionist: “This isn’t your phone?”

Me: “Well, no, but my girlfriend called to say I would be picking it up.”

(The receptionist goes to her computer.)

Receptionist: “I don’t have an email except the one that says the phone was found.”

Me: “Well, yeah, she called the number. Unless you want to open up three hours early just for her, she can’t get it in person.”

Receptionist: “Well, thank you for being honest, but you can’t pick up things for your friend. Can you get her to contact us?”

Me: “If she has to come in and give permission, she will pick it up herself.”

(I understand following the rules, but the website gave a number to call, not an email address.)

A Student Of The Ticketing System

, , , , , | Learning | November 2, 2017

(I live down the street from a university, and I often go to their library for the free Internet service. Because I’m not a student, I always park in a space labeled “Visitor Parking.” However, I occasionally still get a parking ticket from campus police. The exchange at the parking office usually goes like this:)

Me: “I need to dispute this ticket. I was parked in visitor parking.”

Worker: “Students aren’t allowed to park in visitor parking.”

Me: “Okay, but I’m not a student. My car doesn’t have a parking permit on it.”

Worker: “A lot of students don’t buy the permit. Just because your car doesn’t have the permit doesn’t mean you’re not a student.”

Me: “If I give you my ID, is there any way you can see if I’m in the university’s system as a registered student?”

Worker: “That doesn’t prove that you’re not a student.”

(After this, I’d ask for the supervisor, who would throw the ticket out. But after the third time, I just stopped going. I’m still not sure how I was supposed to prove that I wasn’t a student at that school.)

Surely You’ve Tattooed Stranger Things

, , , | Working | November 2, 2017

(My dog recently passed away, and I decide to get a tattoo of him on the inside of my arm. I show the artist a picture and he starts drawing the design on my arm with a marker. Just as he is getting the ink ready, I notice something is a little off.)

Me: “Excuse me. You did this upside-down.”

(The head is near my elbow and the bottom is near my wrist.)

Artist: “No, I didn’t.”

Me: “I wanted it to start at my wrist.”

Artist: “But then it would look upside-down.”

Me: “I want it there, so I can look at it, and so that I can show it off to my friends, like this.” *I flip my arm over*

Artist: “But everyone else will think it’s upside-down.”

Me: “I don’t think anyone will be able to get a good look at that part of my arm under normal circumstances.”

Artist: “Fine.” *he redraws my tattoo facing the right direction* “It’s going to look like this forever; are you sure you don’t want it the other way?”

Me: “This is good.”

Artist: “Okay. I hope you like your upside-down tattoo.”

Quit By Friday

, , , , , | Working | November 2, 2017

(I’m a junior in college. I’ve been working at this store since high school. My boss, while not a nice person, has always been great about working with my class schedule.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss], here’s my class schedule for this coming semester. Due to my new schedule, I can’t work Mondays or Wednesdays anymore, but I can do Tuesdays and Thursdays, instead.”

Boss: “Thanks for telling me! This won’t be an issue.”

(When I get the next week’s schedule, I notice I’m not scheduled. I shrug it off, until I’m not scheduled the week after that, either! I track down my boss.)

Me: “Hey! What’s up with the schedule? I haven’t been on there for two weeks.”

Boss: “Oh, I don’t have a need for you on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

Me: “Not even between four and eight? We’re always busy then.”

Boss: “What I need you to do is work Mondays and Wednesdays.”

Me: “I can’t. I have class from 9:00 to 5:30. Then I have project groups that meet after class. You said the schedule change was fine!”

Boss: “Figure it out, [My Name]. You’re not getting any hours until you put your schedule back to Mondays and Wednesdays. That’s when I want you to work.”

(I fume about it, until I find out the on-campus bookstore is hiring. I apply and am hired on the spot. They even ask me for my class list, so that they can schedule around it. I return to the grocery store a couple days later, resignation in hand.)

Boss: *smugly* “So, have you come back to change your schedule?”

Me: “I sure have.” *hands her my resignation letter* “I quit.”

If You Cut The Line We Cut The Cheese

, , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2017

(The store has multiple cash registers, but only one line. It is very busy, and I am in line, when a woman pushes her way past everyone else waiting and starts unloading her basket at a register that still has another customer trying to finish their purchase.)

Cashier: “Miss, you need to go back and wait in line, please.”

Customer: “No! I’m in a hurry, and I don’t have time for that!”

(The argument started. While the cashier was trying as best she could to get the woman to act like a reasonable adult, the guy in front of me wandered over next to the rude woman, circled back, and in a quiet voice muttered, “That’ll teach her!” and walked back towards the sales floor. No one else in line had any idea what he had done until the woman started yelling and gagging from the horrible “crop dusting.”)

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