A Name To Remember

, , , , , | Right | January 11, 2018

(I have a name that, while uncommon, is very short and very phonetic. Unfortunately, nearly everyone consistently mispronounces it with a name that’s more complicated to say. For example, if my name was Ann, people always mispronounce it Anya. Generally, when I correct them, customers apologize and move on.)

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m fine, thanks… uh…” *looks at my nametag* “Oh, thanks, [Wrong Name].”

Me: *smiling* “Oh, it’s pronounced [My Name].”

Customer: “Well, I’m just going to call you [Wrong Name], because [My Name] is stupid and hard to pronounce.”

(I immediately see red, because I’ve given him no reason to be rude about my name. Without really thinking, I snap back at him.)

Me: “No, you’ll call me [My Name], because that’s my f****** name!”

(As soon as I finish speaking I slap my hands over my mouth, horrified that I’ve sworn at a customer. Other customers in line gasp and look at the current customer for his reaction. He looks just as shocked as everyone else.)

Customer: “You… I… Well, you…!”

(I start to reach for the button to page my manager, thinking that’s what he’ll ask for. But he throws his head back and laughs!)

Customer: “Okay, okay! Fair enough! That was a really d*** thing to say, wasn’t it? I’m really sorry.”

(The other customers visibly relax and I slowly move my hand from my mouth.)

Me: “Oh… Uh, it’s okay. Thanks.”

Customer: “No, no, it’s not okay! I was really rude! Go on; tell me I was rude.”

Me: “Um… That was rude?”

Customer: “There you go! I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to upset you; I’m just a moron who can’t keep his mouth shut. Thank you!”

(He gathers his bags and leaves without further incident. My manager, having heard the story from a coworker, comes over and sends me on my break while she finishes my line of customers. When I come back, she has an envelope in her hand.)

Me: “So, am I in trouble?”

Manager: “Nah. That was actually pretty funny! Oh, that guy came back and asked me to give you this.”

(When I opened the envelope, there was an apology card and a $10 gift card inside. To this day, my coworkers introduce me to new hires with this story.)

It Pays To Have Your Complaint Be Genuine

, , , , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(I approach a table with an elderly couple to drop off the check.)

Customer: “I want to talk to a manager!”

Me: “Was everything all right?”

(I happen to know that everything was all right. I visited their table multiple times; they said everything was fine.)

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

(I go and get the manager, who happens to be my mother. She doesn’t take anyone’s crap, to put it nicely. I tell her they never addressed an issue with me about anything.)

Mother/Manager: “Hello, sir. What’s wrong? Was there an issue with the service you’ve gotten this evening?”

Customer: “OUR FOOD WAS TERRIBLE, COLD, AND DISGUSTING!”

Mother/Manager: *looks down at their empty plates* “Is that why you ate it all?”

Customer: “I’m not paying!”

Mother/Manager: “Oh, you’re going to pay, even if the police are here breathing down your neck to make you do it.”

(They paid.)

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You’ll Be Around A Lot Longer Than Isis, Anyway

, , , , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

Customer: “Hi, can I have a cinnamon roll and a decaf?”

Me: “Sure.”

Coworker: *to me* “Hey, Isis, can you help me after [Owner] leaves?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “Why did he call you that?”

Me: “It’s my name.”

Customer: *disgusted* “Well, why the h*** haven’t you changed it?!”

Me: “Because it’s my name, and I had it first.”

Customer: “But people will think you’re a terrorist! If you want a goddess’s name, have Diana or Freya, but seriously, get rid of that s*** name!”

Coworker: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “As if! I paid for my food and I’m getting it.”

Me: *slightly upset* “It’s okay, [Coworker]; I’m going to go on break.”

Customer: “Change it!”

Coworker: “Leave before I call the cops. This is your last chance.”

Customer: “You’re going to have a nasty life if you keep that!”

(He stormed out, snatching a cinnamon roll and another customer’s decaf before going. When the cops did arrest him, he said that he paid for them and that everyone was going to think I was “un-American.” I’m fine. It’s my name and nobody’s going to make me change it.)

“Urgent” Need Of Retraining

, , | Working | January 10, 2018

(I don’t get a lot of calls or messages during the nine-to-five day, so I frequently forget to switch my cell phone to silent. When this happens, I am attending a lesson in school. Suddenly, my phone begins ringing in my backpack. The teacher looks at me, annoyed, so I quickly apologize and reject the call with the phone still in my backpack. While I’m getting it out to switch it to silent, it starts ringing again.)

Teacher: “Go on. Answer it and tell them you’re in class, so I can continue.”

Me: “Okay” *answering the phone* “I’m sorry, but I can’t talk right now. Can I call you ba—”

Caller: *interrupting me* “—am I talking to [My Name]? It’s rather urgent.”

Me: “Okay, wait, please hold a second.”

(My granddad is in the hospital at this time, so I immediately assume the worst. I quickly gather my things and leave the room, with the caller still on line, while repeatedly apologizing to the teacher who looks at me with even more anger.)

Me: *on the phone* “I’m very sorry. Now I can talk. What is it?”

Caller: “Good. I’m calling on behalf of [Cell Phone Provider]. We’re doing a survey about whether or not you’re satisfied with our service.”

Me: “Are you kidding me?! I was, until now, but now I’d very much like to cancel my contract with you. Oh, and please escalate me to your manager!”

Caller: “But… Why?”

Sometimes They Just Can’t Get A Break

, , , , , | Right | January 10, 2018

(I’m a cashier at a store which is located in a large strip mall. I am in the front of the store speaking with the security guard, when a woman walks in, furious.)

Woman: “There are kids skateboarding over there! You need to do something about it!”

Security: “Are they bothering anyone?”

Woman: “No, but they shouldn’t be doing that!”

Security: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Would you rather them be breaking into people’s cars?”

(The woman stopped and looked cluelessly at my coworker, then stormed off.)