Your Days Working Here Are “Numbered”

, , , | Working | October 16, 2017

(I need to send a package to a friend who has just started university. The post office has to input the address details to generate a postage label. The address is in the format: Flat 123a, Building, 456 Anywhere Street, City, Postcode.)

Postal Clerk: “This address doesn’t work.”

Me: “Uh, sorry?”

Postal Clerk: “It has too many numbers.”

Me: “That’s the address, though.”

Postal Clerk: “But you can’t have a flat number AND a street number.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. That’s the address.”

Postal Clerk: “I’ll need to get the manager.”

(She explains the problem to the manager, rolling her eyes at me the whole time.)

Manager: “You do this.” *taps a few keys* “See?”

Postal Clerk: “But… there’s too many numbers!”

Manager: *to me* “That’s £2.85; thank you very much.”

(The clerk stood there glaring between me and the manager as I paid and got my proof of posting, and as I left I heard her say, “But there were TOO MANY NUMBERS!” I think that manager was in for a long day.)

My Relationship With This Bank Is Over(Draft)

, , , , | Working | October 16, 2017

(Due to a bank error, an incorrectly charged fee, I have an overdraft fee on my account. They reverse the incorrect fee they charged, but not the overdraft. I call to have that fixed.)

Employee: “Well, if you had more money, it wouldn’t have been an issue in the first place.”

(She eventually reversed it, but I still went in a few days later to close out the account. I’m not going to deal with a bank or its employees who seem to think overdraft fees for their errors are okay.)

The Customer Doesn’t Sound Like A Real Man

, , , , , | Right | October 16, 2017

(I’m a large man, not quite 300 pounds, and keep my beard well-trimmed.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Convenience Store]. Pump seven is ready for inside payment.”

(A few moments later, the customer comes in to pay for his gas.)

Customer: “I hate to tell you this, but you sound like a female on the intercom. I hope that doesn’t offend you or anything.”

Me: “It’s only offensive if you think there’s something wrong with being a woman.”

A Cents-less Waste Of Time

, , , , , , | Right | October 15, 2017

(Our gas station has a member’s card that you can scan when you pay and get $0.03 off per gallon of gas. This customer forgets to hand me their card to get the discount while they are pre-paying inside for their gas. Five minutes later, they’re back inside with their receipt, furious that they did not get their discount.)

Me: “Yes, sir; what can I do for you?”

Customer: “You didn’t scan my [Gas Station] card! I want my discount. You owe me a refund, son.”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience, sir, but I cannot go back and give you the discount when you didn’t give me the card to scan.”

Customer: “I just want my three f****** cents off!”

(I look at my screen and see that they only got $15, a little over six gallons-worth of gas.)

Me: “Do you have your card with you?”

(The customer hastily grabs their wallet, searches for a few seconds, and slams the card down on the counter angrily.)

Me: “I can’t scan the card for the previous transaction, but I’ll give you the refund for what would have been your discount since I have it right here anyway.”

(I handed them $0.18 from my till and replaced it with pennies from my “take one leave one” cup on the counter. The customer looked down at their dime, nickel, and three pennies, and gave me a telling look of embarrassment, knowing that they wasted five minutes and made of fool of themselves in front of the whole store for practically nothing.)

Their Writing Is A Write-Off

, , , , , | Learning | October 14, 2017

I am a writer for a magazine with a large, general audience. We publish a lot of profiles of college professors, and we always send them the final draft for “source review.” They can make sure their information is correct and that they are okay with any speech quotes that we’ve included. Many forget that the magazine’s writers are not their students and return the drafts without doing what we ask, but instead leaving comments, adding citations, and applying academic styles.

One took the cake, though.

I sent the profile for his review and he returned it with large sections completely cut, others rewritten to match his diction, footnotes added, and longer quotes from him that constituted half of the piece. It was essentially a list of block-quotes with a few citations and PhD-level vocabulary. To top it off, he sent me the document in an email that said, “Don’t be worried about using my writing; I don’t mind!”

We did not use his writing, his footnotes, or his giant block-quotes.

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