A Minimum Understanding On Minimum Wage

, , , , , | Right | November 3, 2017

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Do you guys cash payroll checks?”

Me: “Sometimes; it depends. May I ask how much it is?”

Customer: “Two hundred and sixty.”

Me: “Well, that’s actually more than we’re allowed to cash in this store. I’m sorry, but we can’t.”

Customer: “What? No? You can’t? How much is your limit?”

Me: “Nope. We can’t. Our limit is about two hundred dollars, even.”

Customer: *angrily* “That’s ridiculous! Who only makes two hundred dollars on a paycheck?! Nobody gets paid that little! Who would only get that? This is stupid!”

Me: “Honestly, sir, a lot of the people in this store only make about two hundred dollars.”

Customer: *goes quiet for a minute, then sounds very sad when he starts talking again* “I am so… Oh, my God. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Oh, my God.” *click*

Magic: The Murdering

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 3, 2017

(My husband and I play [Trading Card Game]. Like most players, we have our valuable cards in binders that we carry with us to our local shop when we go to play, in case someone wants to do trades. A friend asks my husband to trade, so he hands the friend one of our three binders and sits looking at our friend’s binder. Our other two binders are on the table in front of me, and I’m sitting next to my husband, but his back is to me. A random guy that I’ve never seen before sits down at the table across from my husband. Note: some [Trading Card Game] cards are highly sought after and quite valuable, so a person’s binder could be worth anywhere from several hundred to several thousand dollars.)

Guy: “Oh, y’all are trading? Anything good?” *points to our binders* “Whose are these?”

(My husband and [Friend] ignore him as they discuss the cards they’re looking to trade and the value of those cards.)

Me: *pointing to my husband* “They’re our cards. He’s busy with [Friend] right now, so you might as well be talking to a brick wall.”

Guy: “Oh, okay.” *tries to grab the binders, but I snatch them out of his reach* “I just want to look.”

Me: *glaring at him* “Well, [Husband] is busy, and I’m not looking for anything right now. And I don’t know you, so don’t think you can just grab our cards like that!”

Guy: *to my husband* “Hey, man, she won’t let me look at your cards.”

(He snaps his fingers at my husband and I grit my teeth at his impertinence.)

Husband: *obviously annoyed but not looking up* “That’s my wife, and she plays, too, so those cards are half hers. Just wait a minute and we can try to deal, if you have stuff I want.”

Guy: *tries snatching the binders from me again* “I just want to see what he has!”

Me: *slamming the binders on the table as I jump out of my chair, fed up with his arrogance* “Listen here, you a**! I said you couldn’t just grab our cards like that, because I don’t know you! Try touching them again, and I will rip your f****** head off your shoulders, you got it?!”

Guy: *jumps up then glares at me* “You’re crazy!”

Friend: *finally looking up* “Hey, hey! Whooooa!” *to the guy* “[Guy], she told you not to touch their stuff and you didn’t listen and kept trying to grab their money cards, so of course she’s going to get crazy!” *to me* “[My Name], no committing murder. I don’t feel like helping [Shop Owner] and [Employee] mop up his blood, okay?”

Guy: “Whatever, man! I’m out. This chick is crazy.”

(My husband watches the guy leave, then shrugs and kisses my cheek.)

Husband: “And that, baby, is why I love you.”

Nothing “Left” To Spend

, , , | Right | November 3, 2017

Me: “How much are you looking to spend?”

Customer: “Around £1050.”

Me: “Well, the world’s your oyster, then.”

Customer: “I know.” *acting if he was a baron or something*

(I start showing him the products in his stated price range, and we find a good model which suits him.)

Customer: “Oh, don’t have them in left-hand, do you?”

(It is obvious he is saying this as a way to get out of the sale, as he thinks we don’t have any left-hand models.)

Manager: “Yes, we do.” *gets one straight out of the box*

Customer: “Oh, okay. But I really wanted one in camouflage.”

Manager: *gets a camouflage, left-hand model from another box* “Must have got another shipment in.”

Customer: “Yeah, um… Yeah. Well, now that I think about it, I actually shouldn’t go over £950.”

Manager: “I can do this for £935.”

Customer: “Oh! Um, yeah, okay, well…” *thinking of a way out of this situation he got himself into* “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

(That was the last we saw of him.)

Human Interaction Is So Mechanical

, , , , | Working | November 3, 2017

(I stop by my local bank on lunch to make a cash deposit. There is just one other person in line and two people being waited on, so I decide to go in. The wait isn’t long, and I soon approach the teller.)

Me: “I’d like to make a deposit.”

Teller: *processes transaction and hands receipt to me* “You could have used the ATM.”

Me: “I know.”

Teller: “Have you ever done it before?”

Me: “No.”

Teller: “Do you want me to show you how?”

Me: “No.”

(I left confused, unsure if she was trying to be helpful and save me the two-minute wait or because she would rather I not have come in to interact with her.)

Will Weather Through That Bad Grade

, , , , , , | Learning | November 3, 2017

(I am a graduate student at [University #1]. As part of my graduate coursework, I have to take a departmental seminar on how to make presentations of your research. I choose to present about a project I did as an undergraduate at [University #2]. For the project, I collected storm water runoff from roads, so I could only collect water when it was raining exceptionally hard. Because of this, I was only able to collect water on three days. I know that the project isn’t perfect, since I only had one summer to do it and $500 to spend on it. For reference, most graduate projects get tens of thousands of dollars in funding. But it is all I have to present on, because my graduate work isn’t done yet. It’s useful to note that the professor who moderates the presentation class has a reputation for being unreasonable and a bit of a show-off, and I don’t stand for it. At the end of my presentation, he goes on a rant that culminates in this exchange.)

Professor: “I just can’t believe you thought this was science. I mean, I’ve never seen a study with only three data points. Why didn’t you collect more data?”

Me: “Sorry, but the magic weather machine that makes it rain was booked up by a different department for the summer.”

(I got a C.)

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