This Store Has A Drinking Problem

, , , , , | Working | November 18, 2017

Me: “Excuse me. I just saw someone drink from this and put it back.”

Worker: “Oh, umm, okay?”

Me: *offering it*

Worker: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Me: “Well, I would expect you to take it and hand it to loss prevention or something? I don’t think many would be happy to buy something that’s been opened and consumed already.”

(The worker reluctantly took it and I got back to my shopping. Not five minutes later, however, I noticed him putting it back out. He scurried off when he noticed me. I decided to just buy it and get rid of it on my own, and send a strongly worded letter to their complaints department. I don’t know if anything came of it, as I got no reply. I don’t shop there anymore.)

Your Attempt At Free Food In Freefall

, , , , , , | Right | November 18, 2017

(I’m working as a pizza delivery driver on a particularly busy night. I’m driving my mom’s minivan for work. On this run, I have to take three deliveries due to the volume of orders. I arrive at my third destination beyond the estimated time.)

Disgruntled Customer: “Well, this pizza’s pretty late. Don’t you think I should get it for free now?”

Me: “I’m not su—”

Disgruntled Customer: *in a voice a five-year-old would use to mock someone* “Ehehehe, I’m not sure.”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m not authorized to give out the food for free, so if you’d like to discuss it, I will need you to sign the receipt, and then you can talk with the general manager on the matter.”

Disgruntled Customer: “Yeah, I’ll do that. What took you so long, anyway?”

Me: “We are busy right now, so I had to take three deliveries at once, and yours just happened to be the last in the lineup.”

Disgruntled Customer: “I would think a delivery boy could come up with a better excuse than that. I’m giving you a tip, but I don’t know why, anyway.” *shoves the receipt in my face*

Me: “Thank you, sir. I do appreciate it.”

Disgruntled Customer: *slams door*

(I return to the restaurant and inform my GM that the man was upset and will be calling in to discuss getting a free meal, when my shift leader chimes in.)

Shift Leader: “Was it the guy from [address]?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s him.”

Shift Leader: “That guy’s always trying to get free food from us. He wanted his wings for free because we didn’t give him exactly even wings and drumsticks with his chicken.”

(Apparently, the guy would come up with excuses anytime he ordered to try and get his food for free. Since that instance though, I haven’t heard from him.)

Needs To Bathe In A Bit More Sleep

, , , , , | Related | November 18, 2017

(My sister is always on what I call “HER time.” This means that she’ll call or talk to you when it’s convenient for her. To this day, she still doesn’t pay attention to the time difference between us and will call at a good time for her but a terrible time for me. When we were living under the same roof, she used to do this when I was napping. This results in one exchange when I am napping after an opening shift.)

Sister: “[My Name], wake up.”

Me: *groans*

Sister: “[My Name], come on. You have to show me how to do that thing with my iPod.”

Me: *mumbles something*

Sister: “[My Name]!”

Me: *whispers* “Bathing cap.”

Sister: “What?”


Sister: *giggling* “Why do I need a bathing cap for my iPod?”

Me: “Well, you want to change your outfit, don’t you?”

(Thankfully, my sister decided to let me sleep after this, and I woke up later with no recollection of this happening.)


Not So Super(Visor)

, , , , | Working | November 18, 2017

(I have just started a new job. My job title is technically “Customer Manager,” but it is a minimum-wage, entry-level position. I have no actual authority to do anything but fulfill simple requests for customers and take payments. My supervisor takes the “Manager” part seriously, however, so whenever a customer is unhappy and wants to make a complaint, he refuses to speak with them. This occurs when a customer has asked me if he can speak to a manager.)

Me: “Hey, would you mind speaking to this customer? I’ve explained why we can’t help him, but he’s really not happy and he wants to speak to a manager.”

Supervisor #1: *sighs heavily* “Look: you need to start handling these. You. Are. A. Manager. You can’t just pass it off to me because someone is yelling at you, okay?”

Me: “I understand that, but there’s nothing I can do for him. I’ve called other departments, and I’ve explained it to him from every angle. I think he just needs to hear it from someone else.”

Supervisor #1: “Look, I’m not getting on at you, but this is something you should be able to handle. I’ve got things to do.” *looks over at another, nicer supervisor* “Hey, can you handle this?”

Supervisor #2: “Sure.” *sits next to me and takes the phone* “Hello, sir?”

(The nice supervisor takes ten minutes to explain everything I’ve told the customer, and then the customer relents and hangs up.)

Supervisor #2: “There, all settled.”

Supervisor #1: “See? It’s that easy. Now, thank you, [Supervisor #2], from both myself and [My Name].”

Me: “Yes, seriously, thank you.”

Supervisor #1: “Next time, you should deal with it on your own.”

Me: “Even if they specifically request one of my superiors? I’m just supposed to tell them that I won’t, because I’m all they get to talk to?”

Supervisor #1: “Well, don’t phrase it like that, but yes!”

Supervisor #2: “Actually, it’s our job to speak to customers if they ask for us. You can’t just refuse to speak to someone. She’s a manager, yes, but in name only. That was actually a very abusive customer that was on the verge of taking legal action against us and getting in touch with the Better Business Bureau. True, nothing would’ve come of it, because we did everything right, but if it came to light that we denied him the opportunity to speak to a manager, then you would’ve gotten it in the neck for not assisting [My Name] when she asked.”

Supervisor #1: *glares and sulks for the rest of the day*

(Not long after that, [Supervisor #1] was promoted and I got a new one who actually supported me with difficult customers. [Supervisor #1] and I get along a lot better now that we don’t work together.)

Taking A Big Bite Out Of Your Parenting

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 18, 2017

(I am kneeling in a bookstore looking for a particular book, and there is a mother with a toddler nearby. The mother is absorbed in her book. Suddenly her toddler runs up to me, then grabs and BITES DOWN ON MY BOOB — and I feel teeth!)

Me: *yelps* “What the f***?!”

Mother: *whips her head around like Linda Blair, glaring at me* “Excuse me! Don’t swear in front of my kid!”

Me: “Your kid just bit me!” *I stand up and gesture where he bit me*

Mother: “Oh, he must’ve been hungry.”

Me: “What? That’s not okay!”

Employee: *investigating the commotion* “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

Me: “I—”

Mother: “It’s nothing really; she’s overreacting. Some people just can’t handle children.”

(With that, she picks up her kid and walks off like it was nothing. I explain to the employee what happened.)

Employee: “Oh… uh… Do you need—” *he gestures, clearly flustered* “—I mean, are you—”

Me: “It’s fine. Just… I’ll be going.”

(I never ran into that woman or her kid again, but since then I’ve been very wary of toddlers that aren’t being watched closely — once bitten, twice shy, I guess!)

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