We have this one customer who comes through our drive-thru several times a week, who ALWAYS claims that we got her order wrong. We think she actually goes out of her way to f*** with us, and no matter how many times we double- or triple-check her order — we know her now — she always gets the “wrong thing” and claims the mistake is ours. It doesn’t matter what’s on her receipt; she will always claim we screwed up and refuse to move until our manager gives up and gives her more food so as not to hold up the drive-thru. (She times her visits during our busiest rushes.)

Our drive-thru has a sign saying all transactions are recorded for training and security purposes. This is true, although rarely is it used for what I decide is necessary.

I set up a computer station near the drive-thru with fast access to the camera footage, both video and audio. When our problem customer’s car comes up, I start recording the feed to a separate file on a solid-state drive that can be accessed immediately.

Customer: “I’ll have the fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke.”

Coworker: “That’s a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. Anything else, ma’am?”

Customer: “No.”

Coworker: “So, just to confirm, that’s a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke?”

Customer: “Jesus, yes!”

Coworker: “Okay, so a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. That’s [price]. Please collect your food at the next window.”

She pulls up and I bring the food out to her. She opens the bag to inspect the contents.

Customer: “Unbelievable! This is not what I ordered! I ordered a—”

As I am hyper-prepared, I have turned the screen of my new workstation around so that she can see an HD video with crystal-clear sound immediately play back her transaction from mere moments ago.

Customer: *On playback* “—fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke.”

Me: “That is what you ordered, correct, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, no, I—”

I play back the video again, this time louder.

Me: “You ordered a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. You confirmed three times that you ordered a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. You have received, in fact, a fourteen-piece chicken nugget meal and a medium diet Coke. Thanks for eating at [Fast Food Place]!”

She stared at me with the sourest expression, but I simply stared back with my slightly psycho customer service smile, blinking precisely never.

She never came back. We feel sorry for whatever poor drive-thru inherited her, but I can’t lie: it felt glorious.

Related:
The Saga Of Jane Complain

This story is part of our Highest-Voted-Stories-Of-2023-(so far!) roundup!

Read the next Highest-Voted-Stories-Of-2023-(so far!) story!

Read the Highest-Voted-Stories-Of-2023-(so far!) roundup!

This was over forty years ago when attitudes were way different than they are now. I was visiting a gay friend at work one day, and a lady asked for help. My friend acts a bit effeminate, and as soon as the lady saw his mannerisms, she looked at me wide-eyed and remarked:

Customer: “Can you believe this guy?!”

I put my hand on my hip.

Me: “No, I just can’t.”

Customer: *Literally screaming* “They’re everywhere!”

And she rushed out of the store.

A bit concerned, my friend reported it to management, who thought it was hilarious.

CONTENT WARNING: Death

I was called home on Thanksgiving weekend in October of 2020 since my dad collapsed. The following Tuesday, we took him off life support and he passed away. We had planned with our neighbours that they would place an order for food and drop it at our door after we came back.

Right after we returned, we heard someone knock on the door.

Mom: “That must be [Neighbour].”

She opened the door.

I walked past the door to get cutlery and plates and saw that there was a representative from one of the three telecom companies in Canada at the base of the stairs

Door-To-Door Guy: “Good evening, ma’am. I’m with [Telecom Company]. Do you have time today to talk about [service]?”

Mom: *In a broken, tired voice* “We just took my husband off life support.”

The guy paused briefly.

Door-To-Door-Guy: “I’d like to tell you about—”

Me: “Mom, close the door!”

The guy just kept going.

Me: “Mom! Close the door!”

Mom finally closed the door.

It occurred to me much later that I should have called in to complain. It’ll take them a few decades to dig themselves out of that hole of a reputation in my brain now.

A customer came in smelling of alcohol. He bought at least six bottles of caulking. I was trying to double-bag them, and the man reached over the counter toward me to “help”. I stepped back.

Me: *Calmly* “Sir, while the help is appreciated—” *it wasn’t* “—please do not reach over the counter.”

He got huffy, paid, and left. Then, he called the store five minutes later and asked to talk to the manager.

Customer: “I just checked out with [My Name], and they were so rude and unfriendly to me!”

Luckily, my manager was there when the incident happened, so I didn’t get in trouble.

I’m at the store where I work, buying ingredients for my wife’s favorite dinner and some of her favorite treats. I’m joking with my coworkers that are ringing me up but seriously explaining that I am, in fact, kind of the worst right now and my wife is rightfully annoyed at me, so this is an “I’m Sorry” dinner.

Coworker #1: “I mean… I don’t know. You can’t be that bad.”

Coworker #2: “To be fair, neither of us is married to you, but what could you have done that warrants cheesecake, strawberries, a homemade dinner, and a promise to clean the house yourself tomorrow, on top of all the apologies you’ve already given?”

Me: “Ah, well, the first thing you have to understand is that everything that happened to make her day awful was directly caused by something I did or didn’t do… that she reminded me to do or told me not to do. For example: an ant hill was built right beside one of our windows, so we’re battling a slight ant infestation right now, so we need to be really careful about not leaving food out. I didn’t scrape out any of my dishes from yesterday, and I left them right beside that window.”

Coworker #1: “…oh, no.”

Me: “Yeeeeah. She woke up to find ants everywhere. My fault entirely. Once she dealt with that, she realized our cats were fighting.”

Coworker #2: “Well that’s not your fault!”

Me: “In this case, it is. One of our cats will forget the other and become territorial if the other cat is gone too long, and we both know this. I’m in school to be a vet. We’re supposed to take them to vet appointments together to avoid this. I only took one cat because I didn’t want to deal with both of the carriers while walking. Now they have to be kept completely separate from each other for a week minimum, and we live in a one-room apartment with no way to separate them. She’s been scratched already.”

Coworker #2: “Oh. Okay, yeah, that’s kind of your fault.”

Me: “One of them peed on her game console, and now it won’t turn on.”

Coworker #1: “No! Aw, okay. I’d be pissed, too, especially if you knew it was a problem and just didn’t do the solution.”

Me: *Nodding* “Yeah, I totally screwed that up. And then…”

Coworker #1: “There’s more?“

Me: “I’m really bad about losing my keys, and we keep having to pay our landlord to change our locks and get new keys. So, my wife made a firm rule: keys go in the bowl by the door. Always. No exceptions, ever.”

Coworker #2: “Right, that makes sense.”

Coworker #1: “I need that rule, to be honest. I’ve lost so many keys over the years.”

Me: “Well, I… couldn’t find my keys, and I was running out the door to work, so I just took hers. And I didn’t tell her. And she had a doctor’s appointment. She had to leave the apartment with no keys because she couldn’t get a hold of me to ask where the keys were.”

Coworker #1: “Uh-oh.”

Me: *Wincing* “She was getting her broken foot looked at, with its also broken toe, after she’d walked on the broken foot for over a month not realizing it was broken. She’s under strict orders to stay off her feet as much as possible right now, and she had to come into my work, get my keys, and then walk half a mile home on a broken foot because I lost my keys again.”

Coworker #2: “…dude.”

Me: “I wasn’t kidding; I’m kind of the worst right now. I think if we had a couch, I’d be sleeping on it tonight. This all happened today.”

Coworker #1: “I think you also owe her some flowers.”

Yes, I got the flowers, too!