Pot Calling The Kettle Black, Noisily

, , , , | Healthy | January 29, 2018

I have to have emergency surgery. After some time in the recovery ward, I am wheeled into a double-occupancy room, but there’s no one in the other bed. I wake up a little later to find the curtains between the beds drawn, and correctly assume I now have a roommate. I hear her whimpering often, but I think nothing of it, because I’m whimpering, too.

We are both checked hourly, but we have different nurses, so basically there’s someone coming in every half hour or so. Whenever my obs are being done, I can hear her huffing and sighing, the way people do when they’re trying to sleep but someone’s making too much noise. I feel a bit guilty, but what can I do about it?

During the night, I hear her groaning whenever she tries to move. I’m doing the same, so I am quite shocked when she rather curtly says, “Can you keep it down, please? You’re always moaning and groaning! I am trying to sleep here!”

I say nothing. I’m in too much pain and too drugged up to attempt a comeback or an argument.

Later that morning, I’m woken up by loud voices and ear-piercing squeals. My roommate’s family are visiting. She has two small children who are yelling and squealing and fighting with each other. They zoom around the room, pulling the curtains between our beds back and forth, playing in the wheelchairs, and often bumping into my bed, causing excruciating pain. Her husband is loud and gregarious, and neither of them make even the slightest effort to control their kids.

I’m overwhelmed and hurting and I start to cry. The nurse comes in to do my obs, takes one look at the scene, and barks at the father and kids to keep it down, that they’re in a hospital, and that there are a lot of sick people who are trying to rest. She then manipulates me into a wheelchair and says that now would be a good time to take me for a shower, to get away from the noise. As I’m being wheeled out, I hear my roommate say to her husband, “God, she can talk! She’s kept me up all night whining and carrying on!”

Preach, Teach!

, , , , , | Learning | January 29, 2018

(I have a friend who has one of those always-young faces. She looks a lot younger than she really is. She also has one heck of a smart mouth on her, and has taught me a lot about how to quietly take people down without losing her temper. We work in different companies, but in the same speciality, and we often meet up at work conferences. At one of these conferences, we meet up for lunch and sit at the same table as a husband and wife we don’t know. We get talking, when the man springs this little gem on my friend:)

Man: “You know, the problem is that you young ones in [industry] know nothing, these days.”

Friend: *polite smile* “Is that so?”

Man: “Yes! Now, you should think of doing [professional qualification]. It might teach you something!”

Friend: *thoughtfully, but sadly* “No. I really don’t think I could do that.”

Man: “It’s not too difficult, you know. You could always study and revise a bit first, if it feels a bit too hard.”

Friend: “Oh, that’s not the problem. It’s more of a logistical issue.”

Man: “How do you mean?”

Friend: “I can’t take that course, because I teach it.”

Man: “…”

Friend: *friendly, but wicked smile* “Yes, I’m afraid I’m one of those people teaching the young ones nothing, these days.”

Can’t Help Those Who Won’t Help Themselves

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2018

(I work in an arcade.)

Coworker: “Uh, [My Name], we need you for customer service.”

Me: *walks up to customer* “Hi! How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I just want to say that I am very upset right now. I had to stand in line for 15 minutes to get my tickets. I counted, and you had seven other employees behind the counter doing nothing.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we only have our one register, and one person working at a time. Also, I don’t have seven employees working. We just had this one girl back here, since I had the other two employees with me.”

Customer: “You should not try to argue with a customer! There were seven people with green shirts back there doing nothing. I wasn’t this mad until I spoke with you!”

Me: “Okay, well, if there’s nothing else—”

Customer: “I just wanted to explain that I was angry about the line, and you’re making excuses. If I hit you in the arm, you wouldn’t care about my excuses!”

Me: *refraining from laughter* “Yes, you are correct. I was just trying to explain how the policies work with who takes tickets.”


Me: “My name is [My Name], and here is my general manager’s card. I’m sorry I cannot help you, or help that we have a line.”

Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 9

, , , , , | Learning | January 29, 2018

(I’m one of those students that does everything on time, gets As and cries at Bs, takes all high-level classes, does the extra credit, and is heading for a burnout. This class is an English Dual-Credit class.)

Teacher: “I’m going to treat you like college students, since this is for a college credit. Do not think you can skate by like you do in the rest of your classes.”

(Over the semester, no one but a handful of students — me included — ever turns their assignments in on time, or does the reading.)

Teacher: “Well, that’s okay! We can do the assignment and the reading in class. Don’t worry about it.”

(During Christmas break, I think to myself, “If she doesn’t care, why should I?” Instead of finishing my essay, I decide to blow it off. When we come back:)

Teacher: “Raise your hand if you’ve done your essay.”

(Surprisingly, everyone but another girl and me raises their hands.)

Teacher: “What happened?”

Me: *lying* “I couldn’t print it at home.”

Classmate: “Me, too.”

Teacher: “Go to the computer lab and print it.”

(To our luck, the computer lab and the library are actually closed! We head back.)

Teacher: “You know, I’m so disappointed in you. My due dates are very firm, and I told you that you couldn’t treat this like the rest of your classes. You can turn it in tomorrow for 10% off.”

(I have never hated a teacher more.)

Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 8
Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 7
Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 6

Their Conversational Ability Is On Rails

, , , , | Working | January 29, 2018

(I’m on a long train ride, and rail catering comes by. I’m really thirsty, so I ask the guy what drinks he has for sale. The guy mumbles some drink names, half of which I don’t catch.)

Me: “I’ll take a [Soda], please. Can I pay with a card?”

(He literally throws the soda can onto the seat beside me, then pulls out his PIN machine and reaches it out to me. I put my card against the scanner, and at that moment he shoves the whole machine into my hands. This causes my card to slip, and the machine doesn’t register the payment. Now, I have his machine in my hands, giving an error, which doesn’t go away even after hitting “cancel.”)

Me: “It didn’t go through. I’m not sure what to do,”

(I try to hand him back the machine. He just stares at me with a bored look on his face, making no attempt to take the machine back.)

Rail Catering Guy: *sniffs* “Got any cash?”

Me: “If I had, I would have given it to you already.”

(I’m still trying to give him back the machine, to no avail. After a while, he finally snatches it out of my hands, pushes some buttons, and gives it back to me. I try to swipe again, and it gives another error. Again, he leaves me with the machine in hand, just looking at me with a bored face. After another minute, the machine gives a beep and finally resets.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll try to insert my card this time and enter my PIN.”

(The guy says nothing. I insert my card and enter my code. Lo and behold, another error comes up. I look at the rail catering guy.)

Rail Catering Guy: *mumbling* “Yeah… I don’t know what you want me to do.”

Me: “You and me, both. How about this? Take the can of soda and forget it.”

Rail Catering Guy: “You sure?”

Me: *shoves can of soda into his hands* “Yup. I’m not letting both of us go through that again.”

(He sheepishly tried to give me back the soda, still mumbling something about me needing to pay, nonetheless. Then, he sighed deeply, turned around, and shuffled away without saying another word.)

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