In The Mood To Sue Again

, , , , , | Working | December 15, 2017

(I am doing my morning duties when I notice a woman I don’t recognise wandering into the staff-only area. I quickly follow her and find her in the bakery part of our back rooms.)

Me: “Excuse me. I’m sorry, but you can’t be back here.”

Ex-Employee: “Oh, it’s fine, dear; I used to work here. I must say, this bakery looks disgusting. It was never like this when I worked here!”

(Admittedly the bakery is a little messy after the morning batches are done, but by no means “disgusting.”)

Me: “It’s just a few crumbs, and we’re not finished with the ovens yet, but you really can’t be back here.”

Ex-Employee: “Nonsense. [Manager who retired six years ago] won’t mind. Here.” *hands me her CV* “I really think you’ll need me. This place has gone to hell without me, hasn’t it?”

(She heads back out to the shop floor, waving at another supervisor, and leaves.)

Me: “[Supervisor], do you know her?”

Supervisor: “I guess. She used to work the bakery and stock, years ago. What did she want?”

Me: “A job.” *I hold up her CV*

Supervisor: *laughs* “Christ, well, she’s got some balls.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Supervisor: “Well, she stacked some cases of drink way too high and it ended up falling on her. She sued the owner. They paid her a huge sum, and gave her paid leave, as well, but then she didn’t want to come back when her leave was up, which was just fine with the owner. I guess that money is running out, if she’s wanting to come back.”

Me: “Does she honestly think [New Manager] will hire her, knowing all that?”

Supervisor: “Wouldn’t surprise me. He might not even know who she is, actually, being fairly new himself, but I’ll let him know just in case.”

Me: “We’ve apparently gone to hell without her, too.”

Supervisor: “Oh, God, she used to come in covered in dog hair! Always got into the morning rolls; it was so gross. We’d have to remove them all and make fresh ones. She wasted so much bread! “

(I did pass the woman’s CV along to the manager, but we weren’t even looking for staff, and after hearing the supervisor’s story, the manager said he wouldn’t have hired her, anyway. She returned a few more times asking about our staff needs, each time dodging us and walking right into the staff-only area to hunt down the manager.)

Expects Everything But The Kitchen Sink

, , , , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(A customer custom-orders a large amount — over $1000 worth — of solid brass hardware for kitchen cupboards from one of our vendor’s catalogues. A week later, she returns it and custom-orders another large amount of kitchen hardware. This, too, she returns a week later. She tries to place a third custom order.)

Me: “I should let you know in advance, ma’am, that we are no longer allowed to return special orders placed from here on out.” *I point to the policy which is on the counter*

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Our vendors will not accept returns on opened items.” *I gesture to a box with her two previous returns in it* “We are stuck with merchandise that’s difficult to move, and it’s a major financial burden on a store our size. Why don’t we order one pull for you to see and decide if you like it?”

Customer: “I won’t know if I like the look until I’ve had them all installed in my kitchen for a few days! This is unbelievable! This is why small businesses are going out of business. No customer service!”

(At this point, she hurls one of the cabinet knobs at me, knocking down a display.)

Me: “Actually, ma’am, we are only going out of business because we deal with unreasonable expectations from customers. You have five seconds to get out of the shop before I call police.”

Baht Nothing

, , , , , , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(I am at a cafe at the departure lounge of the airport, queueing up behind some tourists heading home. Note: All the notes and coins are clearly marked.)

Tourist: “How much is this bottled water?”

Cashier: “It’s [amount], ma’am.”

Tourist: *shoving some change at the cashier* “Here.”

Cashier: “So sorry, but you are short by [amount].”

Tourist: *gives a note* “Fine. Here. I don’t understand your currency. I want my change in [Home Country’s currency].”

Cashier: “I’m sorry; I can only give you change in Thai Baht.”

Tourist: “This is outrageous! What kind of place is this that you can’t give me change in [Home Country’s currency]?!”

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 41

, , , , , | Related | December 15, 2017

(I’m suddenly woken early in the morning by a series of texts from my sister.)

Text #1: “Hey! Guess what? Someone just wonder traded me a Furfrou named Dazzle!”

(I realize with horror that she’s seriously playing Pokémon at four in the morning.)

Text #2: “I’m going to put it in my party with my Slowbro, Zazzle, and together they can be ‘Dazzle and Zazzle!’”

Text #3: “And then I’ll put them next to Lilith, so they can be Dazzle, Zazzle, and a Salazzle!”

Text #4: “And then they’re going to start a comedy troupe together and I’ll be rich!”

Me: *banging on the wall to her room* “Oh, my God! Go to bed!”

(I later found out she named her Wailord after me because I yelled at her for waking me.)

 

Related:

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 40

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 39

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 38

Conspiracy Theories Caught On Camera

, , , , , | Friendly | December 15, 2017

(I’m from Germany. I’m traveling across the country on a long-distance bus and decide to use the time to watch a cartoon series a friend recommended to me. A random dude sits behind me and taps on my shoulder, so I take my headphones off.)

Dude: “Hey, do you mind if I watch that with you?”

Me: “Not at all. I even have some splitters on me. It’s in English, though.”

(The dude and I chat for about a minute about some cartoons we both enjoy while he moves his stuff to sit down next to me. Then, he just stares at my laptop blankly for no apparent reason.)

Dude: “You covered your camera.”

Me: “Yup, I did. I normally don’t Skype or anything, so it’s not like it’s an inconvenience or something like that.”

Dude: “You know that nobody’s watching you? God, if I knew you were a paranoid piece of s***, I wouldn’t have talked to you.”

(He continues to launch into a long speech, filled with insults, about conspiracy theories and how I must be completely bonkers for believing them — which I don’t — while I don’t say a word and tune him out for the most part. When he finishes a few minutes later, he demands that I explain myself and justify my “insanity.”)

Me: “My ex-boyfriend is an Anonymous hacker, and he actually did hack into my computer and my webcam. He took some pretty nice pictures of me and sent them to my friends, who kindly beat him up for me. As far as I know, he didn’t try again, and the pictures are gone, but I prefer to have my webcam covered, not that it’s any of your business. Now, either shut up and put your headphones in and watch [Cartoon] quietly without speaking to me, or shut up and leave, which I’d prefer.”

(He left. For anyone interested, my ex and I never crossed paths again and he still hasn’t contacted me five years later, to my immense joy. My friends are still awesome, and I still have no social media, nor do I open anything that isn’t sent to me by a trusted source. Not everyone with their webcams covered is a nut-job. Sometimes their exes are just psycho.)

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