Making A Boob Of Them All

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 20, 2017

(I start puberty early, and by the age of ten, I have a well-developed chest, while most of my classmates are still very flat. I was constantly teased long before this, but the other girls have started a loud campaign to convince everyone that my breasts are fake. One day, I am in the girls restroom when the head “mean girl” and her friends surround me.)

Mean Girl: “Look; we all KNOW you’re stuffing. You can’t fool anyone! Just admit it.”

Me: *fed up at this point, I lift up the front of my shirt and flash the entire group* “Trust me; they’re real.”

(I then left without saying another word. While I was still teased for a variety of other reasons, somehow no one ever questioned my breasts again.)

Accepting The Bitter Truth

, , | Right | September 20, 2017

(A customer brings a bottle of bitters up to the counter.)

Me: “That will be $24.95.”

Customer: “WHAT? That’s ridiculous. It’s such a little bottle! It’s only $6 overseas! You must be an idiot if you think you can charge me that!”

Me: “I’m afraid there are a lot more taxes and costs, due to exchange and imports, sir.”

Customer: “But even [Town Two Hours Away] has it for $15!”

Me: “Better start driving, then.”

Customer: “I demand to see your supervisor!”

(My supervisor comes over, and has been listening.)

Supervisor: “It’s a really long drive, better start now.”

It’s Curtains For Public Nudity!

, , , , | Friendly | September 19, 2017

(Our college has a small gym and locker room, with three shower stalls with curtains for privacy. In fact, the locker room has a lot of little options and ways to change privately, so you don’t have to walk around naked if you don’t want to. I’m more introverted and modest, and I greatly appreciate the privacy. My friend is much more comfortable with her body and is very extroverted and talkative, although she doesn’t walk around in her birthday suit everyday. She’s in the middle stall, with me humming quietly to myself to the right of her, and a frustrated-sounding woman to the left of her, grunting and sighing. Suddenly, the woman to the left of my friend stops her shower, wraps herself in a towel, and marches over to my friend’s stall, yanking the curtain back.)

Friend: “Hey!”

Woman: “Would you STOP the-” *pause* “Whoops, sorry. Wrong one.”

(I freeze, realizing that the woman is probably upset with my humming and thought my friend was doing it. I had already stopped when I heard the commotion, but she apparently still wants to give me a piece of her mind, because I hear her squeaking footsteps coming towards me! The woman is just about to reach my stall before my friend manages to slide out of her shower and stop her, blocking the woman’s way by spreading her arms and legs out like a barrier.)

Friend: “NO!”

Woman: *recoiling and almost shrieking* “Gaaaah! Put on a towel!”

Friend: “Well, hey! YOU were the one who wanted to see me without permission! I’m NOT letting you see my friend without theirs!”

Woman: “Ew, ew, ew!Ew, ew, ew, ew, ewwww!”

(I hear the woman squeak away, and chuckles from other women who are standing in line for the showers. I poke my head out and see my friend still standing in the way of my stall, dripping wet and completely nude.)

Me: “Um… thank you. I didn’t know how fast I could’ve grabbed my towel without slipping.”

Friend: *still standing there* “No problem.”

Me: “She freaked out more than I thought, though. Why was she so grossed out?”

Friend: “That… was an accident. When I slid in front of her, she had been reaching out to grab your curtain away, and well… she kind of grabbed my boob, instead.”

Me: “…”

Friend: “Just a light slap, on the left one. A gentle cup. It definitely wasn’t intentional on my end, and I completely doubt it was intentional on hers, but it happened. She kind of scratched it when she pulled away, but it doesn’t hurt-“

Me: “[Friend]?”

Friend: “Yeah?”

Me: “Your shower’s still on.”

Friend: “OH CRAP!”

(We finished up quickly and laughed about the experience afterwards. Thankfully, there weren’t that many other people in the line that we took shower-time away from, and they all forgave us anyway. We occasionally see that one woman, but she never makes eye-contact with us now. I don’t hum to myself anymore, though, just to prevent the situation from ever happening again!)

A Snow Storm Of Protest

, , | Right | September 18, 2017

(Anyone under the age of 18 cannot legally ring up alcohol for customers. I’m 24, but people still ask if I’m old enough to ring it. The following happens on a Thursday morning. The temperature is in the negatives, and all the local school systems have the day off.)

Customer: *sets wine on the counter* “Who can ring this?”

Me: *laughs* “Anyone who couldn’t would be in school right now, sir.”

Customer: *suddenly snotty* “Well, today’s a snow day! They aren’t in school; so THERE. You COULD be too young.”

Me: “Sir, the managers didn’t know today would be a snow day when they made the schedule a week ago.”

Customer: *grabs his things and storms out*

Mission: Impossible

, , | | Right | August 3, 2017

Throwback ThursdaysTHROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s the most unrealistic customer request you’ve had? Let us know in the comments!

Customer: “I just locked my key in my car in front of the shop.”

Me: *I pick up some stuff* “Not a problem. I’ll pop it open for $5.00.”

Customer: “What are you going to do with that stuff?”

Me: “Open your car.”

Customer: “It’s a brand new Mercedes. I just drove it here from the dealer. You can’t touch it!”

Me: “Then how do I open it?”

Customer: “That’s your problem.”

Me: “Actually, it’s not; I didn’t lock the key in your car.”

Customer: “You have to open it.”

Me: “Watch me not open it.”

Customer: “Okay, then, but if you make any scratch or mark at all then you will have to pay Mercedes to repaint the whole car. That will cost thousands.”

Me: “So, if I’m successful I get $5.00, but if I make the smallest error it will cost me thousands of dollars?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your car might just be there forever.”

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