(Our town has an earthquake and a tornado in the same day. The earthquake is very small, but the tornado does a lot of damage to certain areas of the town, and also wipes the power out for a day and a half. Naturally, we close the store when this happens, and reopen once the power is restored.)

Customer: “I was supposed to have my computer back yesterday, but I came in to get it and you guys were closed! I want a refund!”

Tech: “We were closed because there was a tornado and there was no power.”

Customer: “I don’t care why my computer wasn’t fixed on time! I want it done now!”

Tech: “Since we were closed, because of the tornado and all, we couldn’t repair any of the computers that were booked in. We just reopened this afternoon, so I’m starting to work on them all now.”

Customer: “Well, when will it be ready?!”

Tech: “Probably tomorrow.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! It was supposed to be ready yesterday, and now it’s not going to be ready until tomorrow?!”

Tech: “Yes. Because there was a tornado.”

This story is part of our Somehow Even More Weather roundup!

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(I work for a bank that also has credit cards. My job is to call the customers when they are overdue on payments. I always have to ask for their postcode and the month they were born as a quick security question before I can go into why I’m calling.)

Me: “Hi, can I speak to Mr. [Customer]?”

Customer: “Speaking.”

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], calling from [Company]. I just need to quickly clear security by asking for your postcode and the month you were born.”

Customer: “[Postcode], and number ten.”

Me: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that for me?”

Customer: “If you were listening to me you would have heard me say [postcode] and number ten.”

Me: “That’s great. Thank you for that. Unfortunately, I wasn’t asking for you house number; I was asking for the month you were born.”

Customer: *long pause* “June.”

(I really wanted to say to him, “If you were listening to me, then you would have known I didn’t ask for that,” but at the moment I value my job. Safe to say he listened to the rest of the call.)

(As a 16-year-old with her first job, I am still learning what is expected and accepted in the food service industry. I sell cookies in a mall, and we have two locations: the larger main store and the smaller kiosk, down at the other end.  During my third week on the job, I am walking down to the kiosk with my shift leader when we notice smoke pouring out of a shoe store three stores down from the kiosk. Later, after the alarm goes off:)

Shift Leader: “[My Name], I’m going to get the cash drawer, and then we’re going to leave. They’re evacuating this entire wing of the mall.”

Me: “All right, but there’s a customer here. What should I do about that?”

Shift Leader: “Just get rid of them. We have to go.”

Me: “Hi, sorry to inconvenience you, but we can’t sell cookies at this time. The mall’s on fire.”

Customer: “That’s okay, sweetie; I’m just here for some samples.”

(The customer then proceeded to take about five samples, about half a cookie’s worth, and left. And the best part of the entire experience? Two wings of the mall closed and they didn’t shut the mall down. My other coworker kept screaming, “I don’t wanna work in a burning building!”)

(I need a new graphics card but have a very limited budget. Rather than go to the big chain store, I decide to try a family run shop nearby. I get no answer on the phone, so I email them my requirements:)

Me: “Hi, I’m looking for a new graphics card. I have a [card] running with [processor, motherboard, ram, etc.] and a budget of [price]. Can you please drop me an email to see what is the best option, or if there is anything just out of my budget that would be far better?”

(A week goes by, and no response. I call and email again; another week passes, and no response. I reluctantly end up going to the chain store and getting something suitable, but eventually, I get a call from the family store.)

Employee: “Hi, this is [Employee] from [Store]. I understand that you were interested in a graphics card?”

Me: “Oh, yes. Sorry, that was weeks ago; I already have a new one.”

Employee: “Really? I have a great card that has been repaired.”

Me: “That is a shame, but like I said, I already have a new card.”

Employee: “Can’t you return it?”

Me: “No. Like I said, it has been weeks. It has been installed and running.”

Employee: *suddenly agitated* “You just can’t help some people.”

Me: “Apparently YOU can’t, no.”

(I didn’t bother going back to them again. I wonder how they manage to keep in business.)

(I am a customer at a restaurant. I am paying with gift cards.)

Server: “And if you choose to tip me using the gift card—”

Me: “Sorry, I only tip with cash.”

Server: *joking* “Oh, darn! And I have to report it for taxes.”

Me: *joking back* “Well, I guess that’s just your problem now, isn’t it?”

(At this point, a nosy old woman at the next table interjects:)

Customer: “That’s terrible! How could you? This young woman needs her tips.”

Server: “It’s all right, ma’am. I actually like cash tips.”

Customer: “It’s not all right. I demand to see your manager now!”

(Despite the server’s attempts to convince the woman that a cash tip is okay, she is forced to call the manager. The poor manager spends several minutes trying to convince the woman that I can, in fact, leave a cash tip, and that the server will like it.)

Customer: *to me as I am leaving* “I hope you’re proud of yourself! If she has trouble on her taxes, it will be all your fault. You are going to Hell!”