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Enveloped In Holiday Spirit

, , , , | Right | December 30, 2016

(I work for a local bank, and we give out free holiday money envelopes during November and December. We only get two boxes, so we limit five per customer to make the supply last. Most people understand while a few get bent out of shape. This customer is usually a grouch every time he visits.)

Coworker: “Okay, here is your cash. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Grumpy Regular: “Do you have any Christmas envelopes?”

Coworker: “Yes, how many would you like? I can give you about five.”

(My coworker retrieves five envelopes and hands them to him.)

Grumpy Regular: “I need eight.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we have a limit of five per customer. We run out before Thanksgiving if we don’t.”

Grumpy Regular: “I ONLY WANT THREE MORE! I come to this branch all the time!”

Coworker: “I understand, but five is the limit.”

Grumpy Regular: *throws envelopes at my coworker* “YOU KNOW WHAT!? I’M SWITCHING TO [National Bank with terrible customer service]! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” *storms out*

Coworker: “Merry Christmas!”

(Thank God we ran out of the envelopes a few days later!)


This story is part of the grouch day roundup!

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Can’t Be Saved From Daylight Saving

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2016

(It is the day after daylight saving. I am sweeping the lobby when an older gentleman, probably in his fifties, walks up to me looking irritated.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yes! There is something wrong with theater nine!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “The wrong movie is playing! Some d*** animated movie is playing!”

Me: *confused as the movie in question IS supposed to be playing in that theater* “Yes, [Kids’ Movie] is scheduled to play in there right now.”

Customer: “But I wanted to see [Movie]! Not [Kids’ Movie]! The stupid girl at the counter told me the wrong theater!”

Me: “Well, sir, she is new, so that may have happened. I’m not sure which movies are playing where, but if you’d like to follow me, I can point you to the correct theater.”

Customer: *mumbles about incompetent employees but follows me back to the ticket counter*

Me: “Oh, all right! It looks like that was the correct theater. [Movie] just does not play in there until 4:25.”

Customer: “Are you f****** stupid? My movie should have ALREADY started!”

Me: “Uh… It is only 3:30.” *points to the clock on the wall, beneath the movie times* “There is still another hour before your movie starts.”

Customer: “IT IS 4:30 RIGHT NOW!”

(He rolls up his sleeve and shoves his watch in my face. It does say 4:30, but it is starting to dawn on me what happened here.)

Me: “Did you happen to change your watch back an hour for daylight saving time last night, sir?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “At midnight, the clocks went back an hour. It’s 3:30 right now.”

Customer: *his face flushes red* “B… but… well, no one told me I had to do that!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. You may sit in our lobby until your movie starts, or I can refund your ticket if you’d like.”

Customer: “I, uh… I will take a refund.”

(I process the transaction and go to hand his money back to him.)

Me: “Enjoy the rest of your—”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to give a free pass or a coupon, too?”

Me: “I don’t believe so. We typically only give out free passes if a movie breaks down.”

Customer: “But I drove all the way down here and I don’t even get to see my movie!”

Me: “So, you’d like a free pass because you drove down here too early due to you forgetting to change your clocks, even though I fully refunded the ticket?”

Customer: “That is right.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can not do that. Have a nice afternoon!”

(The customer just glared at me and took his money, walking away and still grumbling about horrible service.)


This story is part of our Daylight Saving Time roundup!

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Black Friday Takes The Same Route Every Year

, , , , | Right | November 25, 2016

(I work at one of the largest retail chains in the US. It’s around 11:00 pm on Thanksgiving night, meaning it has already been Black Friday for five hours or so.)

Customer #1: *holding up a wireless router* “Hey, I thought this was the item I was looking for, but then I actually read the box. Do you mind if I just ditch it with you instead of wading through people to get it back to the shelf?”

Me: “No problem. Did you need help finding the item you were looking for?”

Customer #1: “Nope, I just didn’t look close enough. I was busy calculating the price. Kind of silly of me. Got caught up in the spirit of things.”

Customer #2: *suddenly attempting to wrench the router box from my hand* “I’ll take it! Is it on sale?! What is this thing, anyway?!”

Me: “…”


This story is part of our Black Friday roundup!

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Ghosts Of Halloween’s Past

, , | Right | November 1, 2016

(I work at a seasonal store that specializes in Halloween merchandise, such as costumes and decorations. As a result, we are always busiest at the end of October and have signs posted all over the store, especially at the registers, stating that we do not accept returns or issue refunds after October 31st. It is now the first week of November, so we are already very busy with discount and clearance sales when this call comes in.)

Me: “[Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, yes. I came into your store earlier today to return the costume I bought for my daughter, but your people wouldn’t give me my money back.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but since it is after Halloween, all sales are final. We aren’t offering returns at this time.”

Customer: “But we don’t need it anymore! I don’t want to have this costume, so I want to return it and get my money back.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not possible. Was there anything wrong with the costume?”

Customer: “No, but it’s after Halloween. We don’t need it anymore! Can I talk to a manager?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m the manager on duty today. We can’t accept a return on a seasonal item when there’s nothing wrong with it. You could always save the costume for next year and use it again.”

Customer: “I don’t want this costume for next year! I want to return it and get my money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but—”

Customer: “And stop saying you’re sorry! You keep saying you’re sorry but you aren’t helping me! If you say that you’re sorry one more time then I’m going to come down there and kick your ass! Now, are you going to tell me you’re sorry again?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m not.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Well, are you going to help me?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m not.” *click*

The Nightmare Before Halloween

, , , , | Right | November 1, 2016

My manager asks me to go “deal with the pumpkins.” When I ask what is up with them, she tells me that a customer (a grown woman) had climbed into the bin and stood on the pumpkins while looking for the perfect one.

After tossing the survivors into the neighbouring bin and cutting larger holes into it so people can reach in more easily, I take the bin of smashed pumpkins to the warehouse.

Eleven pumpkins died today so that someone could find one perfect jack-o-lantern prospect.


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