Either You’re On Fire Or You’re Fired

, , , , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(As a 16-year-old with her first job, I am still learning what is expected and accepted in the food service industry. I sell cookies in a mall, and we have two locations: the larger main store and the smaller kiosk, down at the other end.  During my third week on the job, I am walking down to the kiosk with my shift leader when we notice smoke pouring out of a shoe store three stores down from the kiosk. Later, after the alarm goes off:)

Shift Leader: “[My Name], I’m going to get the cash drawer, and then we’re going to leave. They’re evacuating this entire wing of the mall.”

Me: “All right, but there’s a customer here. What should I do about that?”

Shift Leader: “Just get rid of them. We have to go.”

Me: “Hi, sorry to inconvenience you, but we can’t sell cookies at this time. The mall’s on fire.”

Customer: “That’s okay, sweetie; I’m just here for some samples.”

(The customer then proceeded to take about five samples, about half a cookie’s worth, and left. And the best part of the entire experience? Two wings of the mall closed and they didn’t shut the mall down. My other coworker kept screaming, “I don’t wanna work in a burning building!”)

Very Ugly Graphics

, , , , , | Working | October 2, 2017

(I need a new graphics card but have a very limited budget. Rather than go to the big chain store, I decide to try a family run shop nearby. I get no answer on the phone, so I email them my requirements:)

Me: “Hi, I’m looking for a new graphics card. I have a [card] running with [processor, motherboard, ram, etc.] and a budget of [price]. Can you please drop me an email to see what is the best option, or if there is anything just out of my budget that would be far better?”

(A week goes by, and no response. I call and email again; another week passes, and no response. I reluctantly end up going to the chain store and getting something suitable, but eventually, I get a call from the family store.)

Employee: “Hi, this is [Employee] from [Store]. I understand that you were interested in a graphics card?”

Me: “Oh, yes. Sorry, that was weeks ago; I already have a new one.”

Employee: “Really? I have a great card that has been repaired.”

Me: “That is a shame, but like I said, I already have a new card.”

Employee: “Can’t you return it?”

Me: “No. Like I said, it has been weeks. It has been installed and running.”

Employee: *suddenly agitated* “You just can’t help some people.”

Me: “Apparently YOU can’t, no.”

(I didn’t bother going back to them again. I wonder how they manage to keep in business.)

Tipped To Have Some Taxing Customers

, , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(I am a customer at a restaurant. I am paying with gift cards.)

Server: “And if you choose to tip me using the gift card—”

Me: “Sorry, I only tip with cash.”

Server: *joking* “Oh, darn! And I have to report it for taxes.”

Me: *joking back* “Well, I guess that’s just your problem now, isn’t it?”

(At this point, a nosy old woman at the next table interjects:)

Customer: “That’s terrible! How could you? This young woman needs her tips.”

Server: “It’s all right, ma’am. I actually like cash tips.”

Customer: “It’s not all right. I demand to see your manager now!”

(Despite the server’s attempts to convince the woman that a cash tip is okay, she is forced to call the manager. The poor manager spends several minutes trying to convince the woman that I can, in fact, leave a cash tip, and that the server will like it.)

Customer: *to me as I am leaving* “I hope you’re proud of yourself! If she has trouble on her taxes, it will be all your fault. You are going to Hell!”

You Are The Author Of Your Own Demise

, , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(I take in a high volume of manuscripts to edit. I don’t offer discounts or deals because of the high volume of work I receive, and because my prices are already a little bit below the average cost. This has never been an issue for any of my customers in the past.)

Author: “Hi. I would like to price out how much it will cost to have two of my books edited.”

Me: “The pricing is on the website. Pricing is typically done by word for proofreading, and by page for content editing, at size 12 font, 1.5 space, 8.5 x 11 page size.”

Author: “Yeah, I saw that, but I figured I could get a discount since I have two books.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I do not offer discounts, because I already have a backlog of work. My pricing is quite fair, though.”

Author: “What if I gave you five books to edit?”

Me: “You would be paying for five books, then, and I would give you an estimated date of delivery for the completed work.”

Author: “Fine. Just charge me for the two books.”

(I get the word count from the author.)

Me: “All right, this is what your price would be based on the information you gave me.”

Author: “That’s fine, I guess. I’ll send you the files.”

Me: “Okay, once I get your deposit, I will give you an estimated date of delivery for the completed work.”

Author: “Okay.”

(I get the payment notification and the email with the files in it, but there are ten separate documents attached.)

Me: “Oh, did you mean to send me ten files? Which two did you want to have edited?”

Author: “I figured you could just go ahead and give me your take on the others.”

Me: “I can look at the other files, if you pay for the other eight.”

Author: “Why?! That doesn’t seem fair! I sent them to you! You have to look at them!”

Me: *head-desk* “Okay, I really don’t have time for this. I will refund your money and you can find another editor.”

Author: “No! My friends said you were the best! I want you to look at my books!”

Me: “I am not playing this game with you. I am not going to waste any more time explaining the concept of you getting the exact amount of work that you pay for. If you don’t understand it, you can try your hand at editing your own work.”

Author: “I just want you to look at the other books for me! I don’t think it’s unfair to ask you to look at a few other files, since I just paid you to look at a couple already! It’s not that hard!”

Me: *cancels the order* “Okay, I just canceled your order. You should see an email within the next few hours. Good luck with your writing.”

Author: “But why?!”

No One Carts Away

, , , , , , , | Friendly | October 2, 2017

I’m sitting in my car outside a plaza, waiting on my friend who is shopping inside a grocery store. I hear a cart being wheeled towards me and look over to see a man, who I just saw walk out of the store with groceries, driving his car while simultaneously holding onto his cart and dragging it next to him.

He pulls up a ways in front of me, and I think he’s going to get out and walk the cart to the cart return in front of the store. Nope. He lets the cart go, in the middle of the road, and drives away.

I sit there in disbelief. If not for my child in the car I would go move it myself, but I see a couple walking up to the store and think that surely they’ll move it. Nope. They glance at it, grab a cart from the cart return, and go into the store. Another woman walks by, moves around the cart, and keeps walking towards the store. The automatic doors open and she promptly walks into the glass window next to the door.

Days later, I’m still wondering what the heck was going on with those people.

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