(I’m at home, having dinner, when the doorbell rings. Because I am expecting a package, I rush to the door. Two men are in front of my door. Relevant facts: I have my own company, located in another building, and I’ve been conned at the door once before and therefore never buy at the door, no matter how wonderful things sound.)

Man #1: “Hello, am I at [Company with a name quite similar to my company’s, but just not right]?”

Me: “You mean [My Company]?”

Man #1: “Ah, yes. Sorry for mispronouncing it. And are you the owner?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Man #1: “Well, we noticed that you still have a private electricity account on this address. Did you know you can also have a business account?”

Me: *already knowing where this is going* “Oh, but I’m not working in this building.”

Man #1: “But your registration says.”

Me: “Yeah, but it’s not here, and I have nothing to say about the electricity of the other building, so I have no interest.”

(This goes back and forth at least two more times.)

Man #2: *finally speaking up* “But you could save a lot of money!”

Me: “Yeah, but I’m satisfied with what I have, so I’m not interested.”

Man #2: “But why are you not interested?”

Me: *I feel annoyed by that question, but try to keep on smiling* “Let me put it this way: I don’t buy at the door.”

Man #2: “Well, we can also do this at the table!”

Me: *now truly annoyed, but still smiling* “Yeah… No, thanks. Not interested. Good night.”

([Man #2] turned around in a huff — he even released a “tss” sound — and left, followed by [Man #1], who remained silent. I don’t know how they expect to make sales by getting offended if someone says, “No.”)

(I am a huge coffee drinker. I only like hot coffee; I can’t stand the iced stuff. Even in triple-digit weather, I will drink hot coffee. I travel a great deal and always have trouble with the person taking my order giving me iced coffee, even AFTER telling them to make sure it’s hot. They tell me they thought I just misspoke, because there was no way someone would want a hot drink in the middle of summer. Usually they just remake it and apologize, I tell them it’s no problem and that it was an honest mistake, and I go about my merry way. I am at a hospital taking care of a relative. I go down to a fast food restaurant to get a much-needed coffee.)

Me: “Good afternoon. May I please have a hot mocha coffee, medium.”

Cashier: “Okay, that is one coffee… Are you sure you want hot?”

Me: “Yes. Please make sure it is hot. I do not like iced.”

Cashier: “Um, it’s over 100 degrees.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I want hot, not iced, please. I think the iced coffee is nasty.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

(I go and wait for my order. I wait about ten minutes. People come in to order after me and leave with their orders. I go up and talk to who I believe is the manager.)

Me: “Excuse me. I have been waiting for ten minutes for my coffee order.”

Manager: “Oh, here it is, ma’am, on the counter.” *gestures to an iced coffee*

Me: *sigh* “No, I ordered a hot coffee. I said it three times.”

Manager: “It’s over 100 degrees out . Nobody orders hot coffee on hot days like this.”

Me: “I do.”

Manager: “Tell you what. This drink is more expensive than what you ordered; you can have this one, instead, without paying more.” *he tries to walk off*

Me: “No. I do not want iced coffee; I think it is nasty. I ordered hot coffee and that is what I want, please.”

(At this point the original cashier comes over. She just shakes her head.)

Cashier: “I told you to make sure it was hot.”

Manager: “Who orders hot coffee when it’s 100 degrees out?”

Me: “I do. Now, please, either make my coffee the way I ordered it, or you can give me a refund. I really am done arguing.”

(He just stands there. The cashier goes around him and makes my coffee. I thank her, but as I start to leave, the manager tells me in a bit of a snotty tone I should take the iced coffee, too, because it would just go to waste.)

Me: “I. Do. Not. Want. Iced. Coffee. Seriously, what part of that do you not get?”

(As I am leaving, I hear him telling the cashier:)

Manager: “I don’t see why she wouldn’t just take the coffee we already made. It’s better than the hot stuff she is drinking.”

(Unfortunately for him, my receipt had a “How are we doing?” survey code on it.)

(I am 16 and looking for work. I’ve been applying to places on job sites, and also handing in my CV to all the corner shops in town. Due to my lack of experience, I never get a response from anywhere. My mam doesn’t seem to understand this and believes I’m just “not trying hard enough” and just “don’t want a job.”)

Mam: “Have you even tried applying to McDonald’s? McDonald’s is always hiring!”

Me: “I already looked on their website. See?” *shows her page* “There are loads of listings on this page for whatever jobs they have, and our local one isn’t here. They aren’t hiring.”

Mam: “Oh, that doesn’t make sense! They are always hiring! If it isn’t on the website, then you just need to hand in your CV in person. They’ll think that’s better, anyway.”

Me: “McDonald’s doesn’t hire like that, Mam. It has to be through the website.”

Mam: “I’m sure you don’t even want to work. How are you meant to get a job if you won’t even apply anywhere?!”

Me: “I’ve literally applied everywhere else I can. They just aren’t hiring right now.”

Mam: “Right! Well, I’m just going to drive you there now, and you’ll hand in your CV!”

Me: “There’s no point! I’ve told you they aren’t hiring.”

Mam: “But McDonald’s is always hiring!”

(We make the drive over. I go in by myself and have this awkward exchange with the manager while they are swamped with people.)

Me: “Hi, I was looking at jobs on the website, and there was no listing for this place, so I was wondering if I could give you my CV.”

Manager: “Um… Yeah. I mean, I can take it, and we can look it over, but there’s no listing because we aren’t hiring at the minute. Just keep checking the website for an opening.”

(When I get in the car and tell my Mam, she says the same thing she always says when I am right about something but she still drags me through whatever nonsense, anyway:)

Mam: “At least we know for certain, now!”

(I already knew for certain.)

(I work in a retail sporting goods store, where we sell a variety of footwear. Requests for men’s size 14 shoes occur frequently. Though the styles are limited, we do carry this somewhat uncommon size.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, sir?”

Customer: “No. You don’t have what I need.”

Me: “Well, if you let me know what it is, we might.”

Customer: *clearly skeptical* “I need size 14 shoes.”

Me: “Oh, we do actually carry them! I know it’s a tough size to find, but we do have 14s in select styles—”

Customer: *cutting me off mid-sentence* “’Select styles’ just means ‘no.’” *walks away without waiting for an answer*

(I’m still not sure how he expects to find shoes with that attitude!)

It was my birthday and I had planned a fancy dinner party for a few close friends, to celebrate. This was also the night I was going to introduce them to the man I had been dating for a couple of months.

He was supposed to come over a few hours early to help me get everything ready. I didn’t hear from him all day, and when he wasn’t there by three, I texted to see where he was and received no reply. He didn’t show up at all, and there was no word from him until the next day.

I asked him what happened, and he said he didn’t know that the dinner party was on that night, that his phone was out of battery, and that he had missed the last bus to my place. He even said that he would have walked the three hours it would have taken, but he had my birthday present with him and it was too big and heavy to carry that far.

I was pretty angry, but I knew he wasn’t the brightest spark, so I explained to him how I felt and let it go. He showed up a few days later with my birthday present: a VCR that he was planning to connect to my VCR to double-tape his favourite movie for me. The movie in question was a horror movie that was discussed in a conversation we had about how I couldn’t handle the sight of blood.

Then he asked me, “Do you have a blank tape?”