(I get a call from the customer service desk telling me that there is a customer coming back from the service desk to men’s belts, so I go to meet the customer. He has a broken belt in his hand.)

Customer: “I need to find a belt like this. I can’t believe this! They treated me like some kind of thief! I know the manager! I can’t believe this!”

(He then looks at a few belts that are similar to the belt that he has, but they are a different brand. I take a look at the belt so I can see what brand it is. The logo looks a bit like the [Brand] logo.)

Me: “Sir? What brand is this?”

Customer: “[Brand].”

Me: “We don’t carry [Brand] here. I would try [Department Store].”

Customer: “You don’t carry [Brand]?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we don’t carry this brand. I believe [Department Store] does.”

Customer: “I knew I got it somewhere in this town. I guess I have to go back up to the service desk and apologize.”

(I’m working on the tills and I am approached by a woman holding a packet of crisps. She doesn’t put them on the belt but holds them out to me. She has the look of a very stern headmistress.)

Customer: “I found this on the shelf reduced to 10p. They went off at the end of last month.”

Me: “Ah, yes. We reduced it because it was near the expiration date.”

Customer: “It is illegal to reduce stock after it has expired. Did you know that?”

Me: “It was likely reduced as it neared the best-before date to clear it off the shelves. We are allowed to sell stock which is nearing or has gone past its best-before date up to a month afterwards.”

Customer: *in a patronising tone* “Really? Well, that’ll be something interesting to write in my blog.”

(She strutted off looking very superior. For a few seconds, I stared after her, still holding the crisps. Behind her a male customer was trying his hardest not to laugh. I checked with a supervisor later and he clarified what I had said; we throw away stock which has reached the use-by date, but we can sell stock one month after the best-before date. We broke no laws, and hopefully the woman did her research and realised that before she wrote her blog!)

(The office I work at has a Keurig machine and an honour box to pay for the K-Cups at $1 each. Unfortunately, honesty is at a minimum, as very few people actually pay for their coffee, and as a result the committee stops buying the K-Cups. Since the machine is still in the lunchroom, I start buying my own from a local supplier and keeping them locked up in my desk. My sister works in the same office as me, and of course I am okay with her taking my coffee without compensating me; she’s family, after all. Other coworkers notice I have coffee and want some. My sister is digging through my desk, selecting a flavour of coffee.)

Sister: “What is this? I don’t like any of the flavours you have here.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I have a few different flavours at home; I’ll bring them tomorrow.”

(A coworker approaches.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], can I have a coffee?”

Me: “They’re $1 each.”

Coworker: “What? [Sister] doesn’t have to pay. Why should I?”

Me: “Um… She’s my sister?”

Coworker: “So?”

Me: “Ah… Family? You know, you do stuff for family?”

Coworker: “Why such a high price?”

Me: “It’s expensive. Almost $1 each to begin with, plus I have the extra effort of going out and getting it.”

(My coworker walked off in a huff. A number of people in the office were quite put out that [Sister] didn’t have to pay and they would have to. Interestingly, none of them bought from me. My sister told me after we retired that she had played the whole thing up because she knew it would grind their gears to see her complain while getting free coffee, and the both of us having coffee when they didn’t. Also, none of the other coworkers went out and bought their own K-Cups.)

(We offer to cash checks in our store, provided the customer holds or signs up for a rewards membership and has a photo ID, and we have the cash to do so. This happens in the evening only an hour before we close.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to cash this check. Hurry up, though; I have to be somewhere.”

(I take a look at the check. It is for over $700, which is more than twice what I have available in my drawer. During the day we can get loans from the cash office, but as it’s quite late, I am not able to. )

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have enough cash on hand to cash this.”

Customer: “Well, then, get it! You guys do it all the time!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m sorry. But it’s too late for me to get a loan. You can take the check somewhere else to cash, or you can wait and see if we have the money tomorrow. It’s unlikely I will be able to cash it later tonight, as we close in an hour. You could also try tomorrow.”

Customer: “Man! The f*** is this?! Just give me my d*** money!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m not able to. I have given you alternatives. Perhaps you can try [Grocery Store] across the street? They tend to have more on hand at this time of night.”

(The customer swears under his breath and leaves. He comes back five minutes later after I have helped two more customers.)

Customer: “You going to cash my check now?”

Me: “Again, sir, I don’t have enough. We close in less than an hour; I won’t be able to—”

(The customer leaves again. He then comes back AGAIN a few minutes later.)

Customer: “You got it yet?”

Me: “Sir, please, I will not be able to cash your check tonight! You can go somewhere else, or wait until tomorrow! You are asking me to do something I am literally unable to do.”

(By this point my manager has heard all of this and comes over. He asks to see the check and, despite it being against company policy, agrees to check and see if there is enough cash in the office to do the transaction. He asks the customer for ID.)

Customer: “I ain’t got no ID; that’s why I can’t go to [Check Cashing Store] or the bank! Now give me my money!”

(My manager makes him leave. The customer tries to resist, but my manager is about 6’5″ and very broad, built like a linebacker, and weighs at least 260 pounds.)

Manager: “You don’t feel bad about that one bit. You did good. Start closing up; maybe we can go home early tonight.”

(With that, he walked away, whistling. Just goes to show: don’t mess with retail workers!)

(I work at a coffee store inside a very busy mall. It’s Labor Day. This conversation happens about once every two minutes:)

Customer: “Wow. I can’t believe you have to work on Labor Day! I’m sorry!”

Me: “It’s okay! Maybe someday everyone will stop coming so all of us in the mall can have the day off, too!”

(Everyone I said that to looked so embarrassed as they looked around and realized we were absolutely slammed and it was their fault we were all there on a holiday.)

This story is part of our Labor Day roundup!

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