(It is close to Thanksgiving. I am doing returns when I am stopped by a regular customer, whom I do not like because she is one of the old lady couponers. She asks me if I can get her some soup that is on sale on the top self. I say sure.)

Me: *grabs three or four cans* “Here you go.”

Regular: “Is there any more?”

Me: “Let me check.” *looks* “I am sorry; there is none left.”

Regular: “Are you kidding me? I have to get this stuff for Thanksgiving because I have people coming over. You should get more!” *walks off*

(I later tell the story to a coworker.)

Coworker: “Wow.”

Me: “I know. And I am just standing there thinking to myself, ‘You know, lady, other people need this stuff, too.’”

Coworker: “Gotta love those old lady couponers!”

Related:
The Couponator 15: The Transaction Void
The Couponator 14: Multiple Attack!
The Couponator 13: Coupons Of Purchases Past
The Couponator 12: The Special Competition

This story is part of our Thanksgiving 2023 roundup!

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(My friend and I are waiting in the checkout line in our library with a pile of books and DVDs. It’s quite busy so everyone starts forming a line behind one of the four check-out points. Our turn is finally up when a woman cuts in front of us. I have free time to spare that day, but I really dislike people who cut in line, so I put on my sarcastic voice and say:)

Me: “Sure, it’s really no big deal if you go first. It’s not like a lot of people are quietly waiting their turn.”

(I hear my friend gasp, then giggle. The woman turns around and looks at me with something similar to poisonous eyes.)

Patron: “Well, what are you waiting for?” *snaps as she steps away, but not to the back of the line*

(I very slowly check all our stuff out, taking about five minutes while talking to my friend. When we leave, she tries again. The man behind me simply pushes her stuff aside and says:)

Other Patron In Line: “Back to the line, ma’am. Don’t you have any manners?” *looks at us and says* “No wonder foreigners think the Dutch are rude.”

(Having moved into a new neighborhood, I decide to grab some pizza at one of the local places, since it seems to have a good pizza and soda combo. I’m not really a fan of most sodas, except for root beer. This is especially true because I’ve just moved from a country where it’s not sold, so I’m craving it pretty badly. This place doesn’t list its drinks individually on the menu, just writing “sodas/juices/etc.”)

Waiter: “All right, what do you want to drink?”

Me: “Do you have root beer?”

Waiter: *looks at me with an annoyed expression* “Uh, no.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you have Sprite, instead?”

Waiter: “No.”

Me: “All right… What have you got then?”

Waiter: *still looking pretty annoyed at this line of questioning* “Pepsi, 7-Up, Crush, cream soda, iced tea, and root beer.”

(I stare at her for a second.)

Me: “Root beer, please.”

Waiter: “Fine. Cool. Whatever.”

(My mom and I get along great, but there is one thing we argue about a lot: makeup. She rarely comes downstairs without at least foundation on whereas I will gladly not wear it if it means I can sleep for another five or ten minutes. In high school, I wore makeup more often than not to hide my acne. In college, however, I stopped wearing it as often just out of sheer laziness. When I did wear makeup, at most I would have some concealer and maybe some lip gloss on. When I went home for breaks, my “lazy habit” followed me home. I’m fine with going out with no makeup on while my mother is appalled at the idea. It comes to a head one Thanksgiving. We are getting ready to meet my extended family at some upscale restaurant since my grandmother doesn’t cook and she insisted on hosting this year. I knock on my parents’ hotel room door.)

Me: “I’m ready; [Brother] is almost ready.”

Mom: “You’re not wearing makeup.”

Me: “Nope.”

Mom: “Go put makeup on.”

Me: “Why?”

Mom: “You need it.”

Me: “No, I don’t.”

Mom: “Yes, you do.”

Me: “We’re just going to a restaurant. Any lip gloss will come off as soon as I start eating.”

Mom: “We’re meeting your grandmother! You need makeup!”

Me: “I don’t want to wear makeup. I don’t need to wear makeup.”

Dad: “It’s about time to go.”

Mom: “Fine! Be ugly for all I care.”

(I didn’t wear makeup that day, but that was the last time Mom really nagged me about the issue. I still rarely wear makeup, and my mom still doesn’t understand how I can leave the house like that.)

Customer: “Sir, I see your gluten-free bread, but I only see it in whole grain. I would like whole-wheat; can you find it for me?”

Me: “Sir, gluten-free means that it does not have wheat at all, so thus there is none”

Customer: “NO, YOU ARE WRONG! I KNOW IT IS REAL!”

Me: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to calm down.”

Customer: “No, I will not calm down! You will get me my gluten-free whole-wheat bread now!”

(By this time, I had three coworkers join me, and we ended up kicking him out with him still screaming that he wanted his bread.)