(The gas station I work in rewards points for every liter of fuel, which can be used to redeem items in the store. The line goes down, so I can’t give anyone any points and have to instead stamp their receipts so they can redeem them at a later time.)

Me: “Sorry, the reward point line is down. I’ll stamp your receipt so you can get your points again when the line’s working.”

Customer: “I’ll lose the receipt.”

Me: *chuckles, assuming it’s a joke* “Sorry, I can’t really do anything else.”

Customer: “Yes, you can.”

Me: *blinks, half-chuckles, thinking it might still be a joke* “Um, okay. What?”

Customer: “Well, like not telling me you can’t do anything, for a start!” *stalks off*

Me: “…”

(I am a veterinary technician. A client brings her Labrador in for an exam and rabies vaccine without an appointment. We have a few spare minutes, so we work her in. During the exam, she mentions a growth on the dog’s eyelid, so the doctor takes a look. We do not normally put animals under anesthesia on Saturdays due to our busy schedule.)

Doctor: “Well, it seems to be causing some irritation to the eye itself, so it should probably be removed soon.”

Client: “Could you go ahead and do that today?”

Doctor: “[My Name], do we have time to put him under?”

Me: “Not really. We only had time to do this exam because our last appointment didn’t take long. We still have two rooms to go in, and then two appointments scheduled after that. We close in about two hours.”

Client: “Well, it shouldn’t take long. It’s just a little bump on his eyelid. You’ll have plenty of time.”

Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, it takes about twenty minutes just to get him under anesthesia, and then we’d have to do the procedure and wake him up. That would put all of our appointments behind. I’d hate to rush through your dog’s surgery. We have plenty of time during our normal surgery hours on Monday. That’ll give you a chance to fast him beforehand, anyway.”

Doctor: “Well, I could use [anesthetic drug] instead of the gas. It’d be more expensive but we could do it today.”

Client: “Yes, yes, let’s do that. I work on Monday so it can’t wait.”

(I glare at the doctor. He shrugs. Another technician takes the dog to the back and I walk the client to the front desk to check out. While I’m writing up her file I hear her complaining to the receptionist.)

Receptionist: “Your total comes to [total]. If you have other errands to do, your dog should be ready to go home in about an hour.”

Client: “An hour? That’s way too long! And why does this cost so much? I wasn’t planning on spending this much money!”

Me: “If you’ve got other things to do, you’re more than welcome to make an appointment to drop him off Monday. It’ll be cheaper Monday, as well, since we’d use a different anesthetic.”

Client: “I can’t drop him off Monday! I work all day!”

Me: “Then he’ll be ready in an hour. We can’t rush the doctor any more than that without risking your pet’s life.”

(I’m at a well-known lingerie store. I’m looking to buy a new bra and leggings. I’m dressed very casually and am not wearing a lot of makeup. I walk into the store, which is fairly busy.)

Sales Associate #1: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]! Can I help you with anything?”

Me: “Nope, I know exactly what I want. But thanks for the offer!”

Sales Associate #1: “No problem!”

(I head for the back of the store. Another associate appears.)

Sales Associate #2: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”

Me: “No, I know exactly what I’m looking for. Thanks, though!”

(I spot my normal style and start poking around for my size. I vaguely notice that the two sales associates are standing nearby. A third associate comes out of the back.)

Sales Associate #3: “Hi, can I help you with anything?”

Me: “No, I’m good.”

(I find my size and pull it out. I start walking toward the leggings. I notice that all THREE sales associates are following me. I turn around and stare at them. They immediately start straightening tables. I start walking in the other direction, and so do they. They don’t offer to assist any of the other customers, and there are a lot of them in the store.)

Me: “Yeah, no, I’m done.”

(I drop the bra on a random table.)

Me: “I’m going to [Other Store]. Maybe they won’t follow me around like I’m a thief.”

(I didn’t wait for a reply. I walked out and drove to the other store at the other end of town. I found exactly what I was looking for at the right price. As for the first store, they were on the news later because someone walked in, very nicely dressed, and stole $10,000 worth of merchandise.)

(I work at a small fast food place. There’s this regular who comes in every Saturday and seems to think everyone knows him and what he wants, often saying, “I’ll have my usual.” My coworker is new and aims to get a teaching license one day.)

Coworker: “Hello, sir, what can I get you?”

Regular: “I’ll have my usual.”

Coworker: “Most of the people here today are new and are not familiar with your usual order, sir. Can you be more specific?”

Regular: “Where’s [Former Employee who got fired for giving away free food]?”

Coworker: “He was fired. Please tell me your order so we don’t hold the line for too long.”

Regular: “I come here often and order the exact same thing; you should have it by the register, little miss.”

Coworker: “Sir, if we did that for you, we’d have to do that for every regular. We have a lot of people coming in every day, many of whom have similar physical features to you and possibly order a similar meal. If you continue to act like a spoiled toddler, no one here will be getting their food anytime soon.”

(He finally told her what he wanted and paid. He tried complaining to the manager but he too has dealt with his crap before and stood by my coworker.)

(I am working at a credit card call center, taking inbound calls. A cardholder calls about a missing payment against her balance, a common and generally easy call. Payments are processed electronically and not normally reviewed by humans unless the envelope weighs incorrectly or the “change of information” box is checked. There are a number of reasons for the payment not posting correctly, the most common being that the customer used an envelope from another company with the barcode on the bottom so it was sent to them by the post office or they wrote the account number incorrectly on the check and the funds were credited against someone else’s balance. We have available a system to view checks from most banks if they have been presented for payment anywhere and so can view the endorsements to see who got the money and what account it went into. Due to privacy concerns, we always have to have the customer provide the checking account information and authorize the search; most customers want the money located so they have no issue with this. After the standard greeting, locating the customer’s account, and determining the reason for the call:)

Me: “Did you make the payment online or was it mailed?”

Customer: “It was mailed; I sent a check.”

Me: “Okay, and what was the amount?” *verifies with her the amount and explains why her payment may not have posted* “With your authorization, I can search for and determine if the check was submitted for payment and if so, where the funds posted.”

Customer: “Are you accusing me of making a mistake? I don’t make mistakes. You made the mistake; you fix it.”

Me: “That’s what I’m trying to do for you, but I’ll need your authorization to do the search and I’ll also need your checking account information to conduct the search. If you’d rather not provide the information to me, you can contact your bank.”

Customer: “I’m not giving you any more information and my bank didn’t lose my money. You did. You will find your mistake and you will fix your mistake. I. DO. NOT. MAKE. MISTAKES!” *click*

Me: *to no one, as she has hung up* “Well, now. I guess you really do make mistakes, [Customer].”

(I added a note to the account so that when she called back to complain that the error was not fixed, whatever unfortunate person receiving the call could see why she didn’t receive the help she’d insisted upon. Unfortunately, policy forbade me from noting her words, just that she’d declined to provide the necessary information.)