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Trying To Get A Cheap Room Is A Team Effort

, , , , , , | Right | November 27, 2017

(A man calls the hotel. He is obviously inebriated.)

Caller: “Yeah, what is the cheapest room you guys have?”

Me: “That would be our standard room with one bed, and that is currently going for $106 per night.”

Caller: “What?! Why the h*** is it so expensive?! I just had a room with you guys and I only paid $62, and that was for a larger room for two nights? What the h***?”

Me: “$62? That doesn’t sound like anything we offer here, and we haven’t changed our prices in nearly three years. When did you stay last?”

(He gives me the date and his full name. I pull up the reservations and verify the price.)

Me: “So, you stayed here on [dates] in a room with two queen-sized beds, for four people; is that correct?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s me.”

Me: “And you paid cash and debit?”

Caller: “Yes. No, I only paid cash, no debit, and it was $62 all together.”

Me: “Well, let’s see, your address is [address]?”

Caller: “Yeah! That’s me! It was $62 for the two nights, right?”

Me: “Actually, sir, it says here you paid $109 plus tax, and you paid a combination of cash and debit for a total of just under $250.”

Caller: “Okay, yeah, but you guys gave me a discount because there were teams there and they were making noise.”

Me: “I’m looking at your bill, sir, and there was no discount applied anywhere. Even if there were, I still couldn’t give you a room at that price. The discount wouldn’t apply.”

Caller: “Well, are there any teams coming in this week? If there’s a team I can get it for $62, right?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t offer discounts just because we have teams staying here; that’s not how we do business.”

Caller: “Well, what the f***?! You guys don’t believe in courtesy and comfort? How the h*** can people sleep when there are teams there, playing in the halls and making noise? I can’t sleep when you have teams in, so I should get a discount. That’s f***ed up!”

Me: “First of all, if we had people playing in the halls and making noise we would kick them out; we would not allow them to disrupt our guests and then just offer a discount for the inconvenience of not being able to sleep. That would be ridiculous. Second, we’ve never, in seven years that I’ve worked here, had a hockey team behave in that way. In fact, we pride ourselves in the fact that we work so closely with these teams, and they are nothing but kind and courteous. Third, if you know, as you claim, that you can’t get any sleep here when we have teams, why would you specifically ask for a room on a night when we have a team in? That makes no sense. In any event, the room is $106 plus tax per night, breakfast included. If you want a room, I will happily rent to you at this price, but I have to ask that you sober up a little before you come to check in; we have many guests in tonight and I wouldn’t want to disturb anybody.”

Caller: “You’re f****** crazy, b****! This is a s*** town for losers to live in. I can get a suite in [Big City four hours away] for $30, tax included!”

Me: “Really? Because I was there a couple months ago, and the cheapest rooms were the dingy road-side motels that were going for $89.”

Caller: “Okay, yeah, I lied. Just give me a f****** room; it’s my girlfriend’s birthday.”

Me: “Sir, based on your behavior during this call, I will not be renting to you this evening. I suggest you try the truck stop motel across the bridge; they are the only other place in the area that charges less than us, and they have a bar and restaurant on site with security. You might be more comfortable there. Have a good night.”

(I hang up, message my boss to tell her about it and she tells me I did the right thing. An hour later, a well-dressed woman in an expensive luxury car pulls up. As I’m getting her information, I realize that the address is really familiar.)

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but are you in any way related to [Caller]?”

Customer: “Yes! He’s my boyfriend. I think he spoke to you earlier, correct?”

Me: “Um, yes, he did, and honestly, after that, my boss and I are not comfortable renting to him.”

Customer: “You see, this is how it is. My boyfriend is full of s***. Last time we were here, I paid for the room myself on my debit and covered the rest in cash. We were here with another couple, and at the end I split the final bill between the four of us, and he paid me back his share, which was $62. He got it in his drunken little head that the room only cost $62 for the two nights. When he finally got off the phone, I told him he was an idiot; that’s why he’s sitting in the car waiting for me instead of standing here beside me.”

Me: “Oh… well, okay, then. I guess I can rent to you, but I do need a cash deposit, and I need your word that there won’t be any problems tonight. If there are, my boss will have my head tomorrow.”

Customer: “I promise that there will be no issues. We have three kids, and it’s impossible to get any time alone for whoopee, you know? This is like a treat for us. I’ll keep him busy for you; no worries there, hun.” *winks*

(I ended up renting them the room for two nights, and there were no issues, but the man refused to make eye contact with me for the duration of their stay.)

Very Bad Reception, Part 19

, , , , , | Working | November 27, 2017

Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].”

Me: “Hi. Could I please speak to [Manager], please?”

Receptionist: *click*

(I phone again, thinking I was just disconnected by accident.)

Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].”

Me: “Hi, I think—”

Receptionist: *click*

(Knowing she actually cut me off this time, I phone back again.)

Receptionist: “Hello, [Business].”

Me: “Why do you keep cutting me off?!”

Receptionist: “Because this is a cold call, and I’m told to hang up on them.”

Me: “Actually, I’m [Manager]’s husband, and I’d like to speak to him.”

Receptionist: “Yeah, right!” *laughing* “I’ve met his wife.” *click*

(Having had enough, I decide to just drive down.)

Receptionist: *smiling brightly* “Hello, welcome to [Business]. How can I help you?”

Me: “I’d like to speak to [Manager].”

Receptionist: “What reason do you have to speak to him? Do you have an appointment?”

Me: “I’m his husband, and no.”

(She realises who I am and sneers.)

Receptionist: *sarcastically* “Really? You’re that desperate?”

(Coincidently, my husband happens to walk by.)

Husband: “[My Name]? What are you doing here?”

Receptionist: “You know this degenerate?” *smugly* “I was just about to have him removed.”

Husband: “What? Why? He’s my husband!”

(The receptionist blushes and we stand in awkward silence for a few seconds.)

Me: *to the receptionist* “You want to explain?”

(The receptionist stammered through her explanation, with me inserting her claim that he had a wife after she neglected to mention it. My husband actually found it hilarious. She isn’t allowed near the phones anymore, though.)

My Mother, The Lizard Woman

, , , , , , , | Right | November 27, 2017

(I am working the floor at a large pet store. A young man, about 16 years old, comes in and says that he is thinking of buying some lizards and wants to know what he will need. I explain to him that these lizards will need an aquarium, a lid, a heat source, places to hide, a special lamp — especially as there is little sunlight in winter in Alaska — and a few other items. I also talk to him about what kinds of lizards would be good for him, and which ones will be relatively inexpensive. At no point do I try to sell him anything, since I figure he is just getting a feel for what he’ll need. While I am talking to him his mother comes in:)

Mother: “What are you doing?”

Son: “I’m thinking of buying some lizards, and I want to know what I need.”

Mother: “What did this guy tell you?”

Son: “Well, I need an aquarium, a lid, a heater, a special light, and some other things.”

Mother: “Why are you trying to sell my son this stuff that he doesn’t need?”

Me: “He asked me what he needs to keep lizards.”

Mother: “Don’t lie to me. You people are always trying to sell other people things they don’t need. You do not need a heater or a light. There is no way we are buying things from a liar like you.”

(The son looks absolutely mortified at this point.)

Son:Mom! I asked him about this. He was just answering my question.”

Mother: “We are leaving, and if you can’t recognize liars who want to steal your money for things you don’t need, then you can’t go into any more stores.”

(The mother then physically dragged her son away while loudly complaining about liars, and her son just looked back at me with a horribly embarrassed expression on his face.)

Make Him Cry All The Way To The Bank(er)

, , , , , , | Working | November 27, 2017

(I’m a banker. We’ve just hired another banker in, and it’s his first day at a desk after finishing his training. I’m on a conference call, and he’s shuffling things around at his desk. I’m female.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]!”

Me: *mutes call* “What’s up?”

Coworker: “Where’s the coffee?”

Me: “Oh, it’s in Commercial Banking.”

Coworker: “Go get me some!”

Me: “Come again?”

Coworker: “Fine. Go get me some, please.”

Me: “I’m on a call right now. It’s really just down the hall, though.”

Coworker: “Gah! I’ll get my own.”

(I go back to my call, slightly confused. A couple of hours later, I’m working on documents for a loan closing.)

Me: *thinking out loud* “So, if they do an automatic payment every month, I can get the interest rate down to 3%…”

(I look up for a second and see him standing in front of my desk.)

Coworker: *insistently* “[My Name]!”

Me: *jumps* “Geez! Where did you come from?”

Coworker: “I need copies made!”

Me: “No problem. I’ll show you where the copier is!”

Coworker: “Can’t you just do it for me? I need ten.”

Me: *confused* “No?”

Coworker: “Why not?!”

Me: “I have a lot of appointments this afternoon and a loan closing right at nine tomorrow that I have to get ready for. I can show you where the copier is.”

(He follows me to the copier, muttering under his breath. I don’t think anything of it until I’m pulled aside by our boss the next day.)

Boss: “[Coworker] tells me that you’re not being very helpful.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Boss: “He said you were very rude yesterday in answering his questions.”

Me: “He asked me to get him coffee while I was on that call you wanted me to be on, and to make copies for him while I was preparing for [Customer]’s loan closing.”

Boss: *long pause* “I see. Never mind. Go back to your desk.”

(A couple days later, we both have a meeting with our boss.)

Boss: “…and [My Name], you had a great sales week! You closed that loan and opened several new accounts!”

Coworker: “[My Name] makes sales?!

Me: “Yes! What do you think I’ve been doing all week?”

Coworker: *genuinely shocked* “Are you a banker, like me?”

Me: “What did you think I was?”

Coworker: “Uh, um… I plead the fifth! Can I go back to my desk now?”

(He was much nicer to me after that.)

Pregnant With Ignorance

, , , | Friendly | November 27, 2017

(I work signs at a toy store. I don’t interact with customers as much as other employees, but often enough. I happen to work on Mother’s Day. Quite a few older people have been coming in to buy toys to keep kids occupied while they watch them for the night. I’m approached by a couple of customers that look to be in their sixties.)

Me: “What can I help you find today in [Store]?”

Customer #1: “Can you help us find [popular toddler toy]?”

Me: “Yep, it’s towards the back of the store. I can take you right back.”

(I start walking back with them, making small talk, asking a few questions about what the child likes, etc. Note: I’m a woman in my mid-twenties, and I don’t have much belly fat, but I do have very wide hips.)

Customer #2: “Are you a mother?”

(I am slightly taken aback; plus, my cousin’s wife has been having trouble conceiving, and would be terribly upset if someone asked her that, but I laugh it off.)

Me: “Haha, no.”

Customer #2: “Well, are you going to be?”

Me: *more forcefully now* “No.”

Customer #2: “Are you sure?

(I didn’t respond that time, and the wife gave him a gentle slap on the arm. We arrived in the section, I showed them the toy, and instead of staying to see if they needed help, I hurried away. I know he was, for some reason, trying to wish every woman he saw a happy Mother’s Day, but it was extremely uncomfortable. At the time, it didn’t even occur to me that he could’ve been implying I was too stupid to know I was pregnant.)