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Sick Of Your Morning Sickness

, , , , , | Related | January 9, 2018

(My mother-in-law is pretty traditional and incredibly opinionated: marriage before intimacy, and so on. Sometimes she speaks her often ridiculous opinions before she processes the logistics. Before I was married, if had a stomach bug or anything it was always the same:)

Mother-In-Law: “There’s a bug going around; you’ll live.”

(Fast forward to my honeymoon. We’re gone seven days. On the flight back, my husband and I both start feeling a bit gross: nausea, stomach cramps, etc. We pop in to see my husband’s family when we get back.)

Mother-In-Law: “You must be pregnant.”

Me: “Yeah, no. And, anyway, [Husband] is sick, too. Is he pregnant?”

Mother-In-Law: *ignoring my comment* “Trust me; you’re definitely pregnant. Get a test.”

(She walked away, leaving me dumbstruck. She never jumped to this confusion before we were married. I mean, we lived together for six years. And by the way, we were both fine.)

It’s Not Always Quitters Who Quit

, , , , , , | Working | January 9, 2018

(I have graduated from high school early, and I’m starting college. I’m barely 16 years old, and my mom is a broke single mother. For my graduation, she buys me a $400 used car, and I apply for financial aid so I can go to college. Part of my financial aid is a work-study job in the college cafeteria. My shift is supposed to be from 6:00 to 10:00 in the morning, but since I have a 10:00 class, the manager moves my shift to 5:45 to 9:45 so I can make it to class on time. Serving breakfast to surly college students is NOT fun, and almost every day, the boss gives me too much to do, so I’m late getting out of work. Now, I am in danger of being dropped from my class for excessive tardiness. I ask my mother for permission to quit my job and look for another one, and she says yes. I go to my boss.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I need to quit this job. It’s interfering with my schoolwork and I need to get good grades.”

Boss: “You really need to stay and finish the job. Otherwise, all your life, you will feel like a quitter. I don’t accept your resignation.”

Me: *is stunned into silence*

(I go home and told my mom what happened. She gives me permission to stop going to work, so I go to class instead. Two days later, my boss calls me.)

Boss: “I’m sorry, but due to your attendance, I’m going to have to let you go.”

Me: “I can’t say I’m sorry about this. I quit two days ago, remember?”

(It took me years to get over feeling ashamed of losing one of my first jobs, but now when I think back on it, I’m proud that I stood up for myself.)

Drama Queen Meets The Queen’s English

, , , , , , | Right | January 9, 2018

(I am just arriving at my workstation at shift change, and I catch the tail end of an irate customer’s complaint to the staff member who I am relieving. I am English, but have been a legal resident in the US for almost 20 years. I have never lost my accent.)

Customer: “…and I called here the other day, and some woman with a British accent answered the phone, and I wonder how those people can even be allowed to work for you!”

Me: *addressing my colleague in my best and most cheerful Princess Diana voice* “Good afternoon, [Colleague], and how are you today?”

Customer: *glares at me and stomps off without another word*

Greed Burns

, , , , | Right | January 9, 2018

(I am working in a popular supermarket’s call center’s canteen as a general assistant. One weekend, our general manager is working as the chef in the kitchen, and another general assistant is working, as well. I am busy deep-cleaning the vending machine in our canteen when I see a potential customer approach.)

Customer: “Will I be able to get myself a coffee?”

Me: “No, sorry. The machine is in the middle of a clean cycle.”

Customer: “Are you sure there is no way to for me to get one?”

Me: “Sure, in ten minutes.”

Customer: “Well, why does it need cleaning?”

(By this point, I’m through not treating her like she is stupid.)

Me: “Because this is full of harmful cleaning chemicals, and we wouldn’t want anyone with bits in their coffee.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(Then, she proceeds to walk towards the canteen and ducks under the shutter — which is half-closed, as we are not open yet — whilst the other general assistant is setting up down the bottom. I finish cleaning up and go down to the general manager.)

Me: “Seriously, she just tried to get a coffee when I was busy cleaning the machine. How stupid can people be?”

Manager: “I know, right?” *laughs*

(The weekend manager was really chill and would only laugh at stupid customers, like when another one burnt herself on her cup of soup after she filled it to the top in her greed, and spilled it.)

Salty About The Chips

, , , , , , | Working | January 9, 2018

(I’m a carer for a young man who has autism. Like a lot of autistic children, he can be picky about what he will and will not eat. As a reward for recent good behaviour, I take him to the local fish and chips shop for some hot chips.)

Server: “What can I get you?”

Me: “Can I please have a large chips, no salt?”

(The server sighs and stalks away. I think it is weird, but I let it go. The server cooks up a fresh order of fries… only to add salt to them.)

Me: “Sorry, but it was a large chips with no salt.”

Server: “Oh. I forgot. No big deal, though, right?” *tries to give me the chips*

Me: “No. Big deal. I need you to make a fresh order with no salt, please.”

Server: “C’mon, I know that this is just a ploy that people do to get a fresh batch of chips, and you’re just going to add salt to them. You saw me cook them fresh, so it’s fine.”

Me: “No. If I give [Boy] chips with salt, he will lick off the salt and not eat the chips. Please give me what I ordered, or I’ll be forced to ask for a manager.”

(The server sighed, rolled her eyes and muttered up a storm, but eventually she gave me an order of saltless fries. I think I’ll try somewhere else to get hot chips, next time.)