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Spoken Like A True New Jerseyan

, , | Right | July 17, 2008

(A tall man in his 30’s walks in after I had told him over the intercom three times that we are a prepay station AND he read the sign on the pumps stating that as well.)

Me: “Afternoon! Can I help you?”

Man: “Yeah, I noticed that you don’t have the card sliders on the pumps. Do you know when you’re going to get those?”

Me: “Sir, I’m fairly confident we’re not getting those anytime soon.”

Man: “Oh. Well, in that case, I’m going to get in my car and drive away without buying your gasoline. In fact, I’m never coming back here again!”

(Note that I have never seen this man before and I recognize all my regular customers.)

Me: “Okay, sir.”

Man: “How exactly does that make you feel?!”

Me: “Well sir, to be honest with you, you’re not the first person that has tried to dampen my day. The fact of the matter is, you can’t dampen my day any worse than it already is when I have to show up here. You’re just one more customer I don’t ever have to hear yell at me again.”

Man: “F*** you and your gas pumps! Thank God people aren’t this rude in New Jersey!”


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I Just Called To Say I Hate You

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2008

(This conversation happens a week after Hurricane Katrina. The store is understaffed, we have more customers than we can handle, and prescriptions are taking four-to-six days to get filled. I also have a long line at the front of the store and am the only cashier up front.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I just want to let you know how angry I am right now.”

Me: “Well, what is the problem, ma’am? ”

Customer: “I brought a prescription in four days ago and it still isn’t ready.”

Me: “Okay, well, hold on while I transfer your call to our pharmacy.”

Customer: “No! I already spoke with them and they said there was nothing they could do right now.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. I can transfer you to one of my managers.”

Customer: “I don’t want to talk to them. I just want to let y’all know how angry I am right now.”

Me: “Look, I understand. Would you like me to transfer you to a manager or the pharmacy?”

Customer: “I already told you no! I just want to let you know how mad I am right now and that I will not be shopping in your store again.”

Me: “Look, lady, they pay me $6.00 an hour. I honestly don’t care, but I will be more than happy to transfer you to someone who might! I am the only cashier and have a very long line. I don’t have time for this!”

Customer: “I just called to tell you–”

Me: *click*


This story is part of our Pharmacy Roundup!

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One Coffee Conflagration, Coming Right Up

, , , | Right | July 10, 2008

Customer: “I’d like a venti latte made with organic milk. It has to be organic milk.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t have organic milk in this store.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not? It says that you do on the menu!”

Coworker: “Well, our customers here rarely order drinks made with organic milk, so we don’t stock it.”

Customer: “Why don’t you have it?! I cannot drink my latte if it isn’t made with organic milk!”

Coworker: “If it’s that important to you, we can make your drink with soy, which is organic.”

Customer: “NO! NO! NO! Soy milk is disgusting! Regular milk is disgusting! I should be able to get what I WANT when I come here! It is imperative that I have my god-d*** latte made with organic milk!”

(They go back and forth like this for several more minutes as the line behind her grows longer and more impatient, while my friend is desperately trying to appease her with our milk options. Suddenly, the customer’s friend seems to finally have run out of patience…)

Customer: “I NEED it to be ORGANIC!”

Customer’s Friend: *suddenly loud* “Why? So you can stand outside and drink your d*** organic latte while smoking your organic cigarettes? They don’t have it! Drop it already and get something else!”


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How About A Coupon For A Free Psych Evaluation

, , , , | Right | July 9, 2008

Me: “Ma’am, with this order, you received a free coupon for [Brand] Cosmetics.”

Customer: “What, do you think I need it?”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “That’s very rude, telling someone they need makeup!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not suggesting you need makeup. I’m just offering it to you because the computer printed it out.”

Customer: “Oh, what, now the computer thinks I need makeup?”

Me: “No, ma’am… it prints out coupons for random items.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t need it any coupons from you, so there!” *storms off*

Me: *rubbing my temples* “Have a good day, ma’am.”


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Mr. Anal And Mrs. Retentive Go To Scotland

, , , , | Right | June 30, 2008

(A South American customer and his wife are browsing in a souvenir shop where I work; note that it’s located in Scotland.)

Customer: “Hey, why do you have mugs here with England written on them? I’m not in England… Why would I buy a souvenir mug with the English flag on it?”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to buy an England one. We have plenty of mugs with Scotland written on them, too.”

Customer: “I can see that! I’m not stupid!”

Me: “I didn’t mean to imply you were, sir.”

Customer: “Well, you did. I just wonder why the h*** anyone would want to buy a knick-knack from a country that has a different country’s name on it. What’s the point?”

Me: “I really don’t know what to tell you. We’ve just always stocked those mugs.”

Customer: “I don’t see the point.” *calls to his wife, who comes over*

Customer: “There are England mugs in a Scotland shop!”

Customer’s Wife: “Wow, that’s really f***ing stupid. What’s the point? Ask the girl.”

Customer: “She doesn’t know. This is so stupid.”

Customer’s Wife: “She’s stupid. ”

(His wife puts down the Loch Ness Monster teddy she is holding and walks out of the shop. He turns back to me.)

Customer: “You should know things like that. You do work here. What’s the point?!”


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