I’m helping a customer with a money transfer at our customer business center.

Me: “Your total is $72.”

Customer: “What? It’s $12 to send $60.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It’s only $5 to send $50, instead.”

Customer: “I’ll do that, then. This is ridiculous.”

Me: “I know, ma’am. I’m sorry. I personally think they are all ridiculous.”

I am trying to empathize since she is upset by the fees.

Customer: “Well, you wouldn’t if you needed this money as an emergency, and that’s what it is for. How condescending of you.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. That is not how I meant it at all. I have needed it. I just used another service that didn’t charge so much. I’m very sorry; I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Customer: “Groveling doesn’t become you.”

Completely shocked, I just smiled and stopped talking. She asked for my manager who was standing there the whole time and said it didn’t matter; I was going to say that to another customer anyway.

I’m a professional and qualified aromatherapist. I work in a local shop that specializes in selling all-natural bath and body products, as well as therapeutic quality essential oils. The customer — if you can call her that — enters the store.

Customer: “Yuck, it smells gross in here!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Customer: “Seriously, how can you work here?”

Me: “I personally enjoy the scent. I find natural fragrances tend to be much nicer than those of toxic synthetics.”

I can smell the cheap perfume she’s bathed in from across the store.

Customer: “Well, I don’t like it! It’s a terrible smell!”

Me: “No one is forcing you to stay here. You came in on your own accord, and you are more than welcome to turn around and leave.”

Customer: “I will! Tell the owner this is a horrible shop!”

Me: “Our clients say otherwise, but I’ll be sure to pass your comment along. And please be sure to take your disgusting attitude and terrible perfume with you when you leave. Have a wonderful day!”

The customer’s face was priceless.

I work as a receptionist at an upscale salon. It is very large, and we always ask if a client has seen the technician for the day’s appointment before, so if not, we can give them a tour and an introduction.

I am finishing up with someone who is paying for her haircut when a client walks in.

Me: “Good afternoon. Checking in today?”

Arriving Client: “What?”

Me: “Are you checking in for an appointment?”

Arriving Client: “No! I’d like to pay for my manicure!”

Me: “I apologize. One moment. I am finishing up with another client and will be right with you.”

Arriving Client: “But my manicure is at 2:00!”

It is 2:05.

Me: “Our nail department is behind me to the left. Who are you seeing today?”

Arriving Client: “[Employee].”

Me: “And have you seen her before?”

Arriving Client: “For about ten years!”

Me: “Oh, wonderful. You can proceed to the nail department, then. I thought you were checking out. Enjoy your manicure.”

Arriving Client: “I am checking in and out! How am I supposed to pay for my manicure afterward with wet nails?”

Me: “I will be able to check you out as soon as I have finished with Mrs. [Regular Client].”

Arriving Client: “Unbelievable! I’m going to leave my card here and you can just run it, or I’m going to be late!”

She leaves an American Express card.

Regular Client: “If she’s been coming here for ten years, she should know you don’t take Amex.”

This story is part of our Nail Salon roundup!

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The agency where I work has several departments. We usually don’t answer questions outside our area of expertise to avoid giving people wrong information. All calls are directed by people working at a switchboard. They are extremely good at what they do, but sometimes the callers are not clear about what they want and it sometimes happens that calls are misdirected.

Caller: “I want to have information about [subject #1].”

Me: “I am sorry. The switchboard must have transferred you to the wrong department. You should talk to [other department]. If you want me to, I could transfer you back to the switchboard.”

Caller: “No, they told me that I should speak with you.”

Me: “I am sorry, but my area of expertise is [subject #2] not [subject #1]; I won’t be able to give you good answers.”

Caller: “Why? What’s the difference between [subject #1] and [subject #2]?”

I explain the difference.

Me: “So, you see, you will have to talk to someone at [other department].”

Caller: “But they said that I should talk to you.”

Me: “Again, I am sorry, but I am not able to answer your questions. Unfortunately, sometimes, calls are transferred wrong.”

Caller: “They said I should speak with you! And you should be able to answer my questions. Don’t you know what you are working with?”

Me: “I am sorry, but I don’t work in the area of your questions. Sometimes the switchboard operators make mistakes, and maybe they didn’t quite understand what you were asking for; it is rather common that my department is mixed up with [other department]. But I am still willing to transfer you so you can get the help you want.”

Caller: “I don’t think the switchboard made a mistake. I think you don’t know what your area of expertise is!” *Hangs up*

I had a difficult pregnancy and gained a lot of weight. About seven months after having the baby, I’m finally starting to feel okay again, when this happens.

Customer: “So, when is your baby due?”

Me: *Awkward laugh* “Uh… negative seven months.”

Customer: “Huh? Oh!”

The customer looks me up and down.

Customer: “Well, I guess it could still be baby weight.” *Scurries off*