Stressing Out Over Nothing Is Even Worse For You

, , , , | Friendly | December 28, 2017

(I am a teenager when this event occurs. I am in a grocery store to buy a gift card for a Secret Santa exchange one of my high school classes is doing. I get into line at the register behind a couple in their early thirties. While standing in line, a pair of fellow high school students walk up and blatantly step in line in front of the couple.)

Man: “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?! You can’t just cut in front of us!”

Student #1: *unapologetic* “Oh, right, sorry. I guess we didn’t see you standing there or something.”

(The two students wander off to another checkout line:)

Man: “Teenagers these days! They’re so rude and have absolutely no manners!”

(He continues to rant to the woman next to him about the deficiency of teens today, all the while making it obvious that he is talking loud enough for me to hear and blatantly side-eyeing me as if he expects me to try and cut them as well. I spend the next couple minutes awkwardly ignoring him until I get close enough to place my gift card down on the counter. Note: The gift card is for a well-known chain sandwich place.)

Man: *turning and addressing me directly in a very condescending tone* “You know that [Sandwich Place] is actually very bad for you.”

Me: *calmly, after a couple seconds of surprise* Anything is bad for you if you don’t eat it in moderation. Given a lot of the other food options, I think I made a good choice.”

(The man turned back to finish paying for his groceries before storming off, apparently pissed that he couldn’t get a reaction from me and prove to the world that all teenagers are entitled and rude.)

We’ve Run Out Of Prankster Rodentia

, , , , , , | Right | December 28, 2017

(I work at a chain pet store, in the pet care section. Policy states that we can deny the sale of any pet if we believe that it will not be going to a good home. As a company, we also do not sell live feeders, except for crickets, goldfish, and minnows. We do sell frozen feeder mice, but if customers come in asking about live mice for snakes, we direct them to reptile stores in the area that sell live ones. Two customers come up to me. Only one does any talking.)

Customer: “I want to buy a mouse.”

Me: “Are you looking for a pet or a feeder?”

Customer: “Oh, just a feeder.”

Me: “Okay, we have them right over here in the freezer.”

(I start to lead them over to it.)

Customer: “You don’t have live ones?”

Me: “No, as a company, [Pet Store] doesn’t sell live feeder mice.”

Customer: “Then, what do you feed your snakes?”

Me: “Frozen mice, thawed out.”

Customer: “But we want a live one.”

(At this point, a coworker walks by, having only heard the last couple sentences, and she chimes in, repeating that we don’t sell live feeders.)

Me: *remembering something* “Actually, we don’t have any mice right now, anyway. Just hamsters and guinea pigs.”

Customer: “Okay, we’ll take a hamster, then.”

Me: *suspicious at the switch* “What are you getting it for?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s for a prank.”

Me: “I can’t sell you a pet for a prank.”

Customer: “Why not? I’m paying for it, aren’t I?”

Me: “No, because we won’t sell it. We sell pets, not pranks.”

Customer: “Fine then. I’m buying it for me, for a pet.”

Me: “But you just said you were buying it for a prank. I can’t pretend I didn’t hear that.”

(She glanced at her friend, huffed, and stormed out of the store. The friend followed. My coworker and I stared at each other for a moment, sighed, and got off of the sales floor to decompress. I wish I could say this was the weirdest or worst encounter with someone wanting to buy pets. Just a few weeks before, there was a person who wanted to buy a rat for “religious purposes.” She refused to elaborate, and she was refused the rat, too.)

Not Even A Charitable Excuse

, , , , | Right | December 28, 2017

(It’s the first winter during the refugee crisis in Europe. A lot of asylum seekers haven’t been able to register and be assigned to a home due to the sudden influx of people, so they are camping in front of the respective government agencies in the cold. The owner of the secondhand shop where I work decides to help, and starts a campaign where you can donate winter clothing for refugees at our store and get 10% off on your purchase in return. Sadly, that does not only bring kind-hearted people to our store but a lot of people wanting to complain.)

Customer: “Hi there. I want to speak to your boss about the program you’re doing. Honestly, it’s a disgrace you’d run a charity for refugees here while there are so many German families that are poor and can’t buy clothes.”

Me: “Sadly, my boss isn’t in today. However, if you’re coming in because you’re concerned about poor families, I have good news for you. See, that promotion is actually modelled after a promotion we’ve been continuously running since 2008, where you donate children’s clothing and get off 10% of your purchase. Do you have some children’s clothes you’d be willing to donate?”

Customer: “Absolutely not! They can shove that free clothes up their a**es. They need to stop being lazy, spongeing off of others, and feeling entitled to get free stuff just because they are too lazy to make a living.”

Me: “May I remind you that your initial complaint was that we provide charity to refugees while there are poor German families?”

Customer: *dumbstruck for a second* “Umm… I mean… JUST F*** YOU GUYS!” *walks away*

Bad Customers Follow You From Store To Store

, , , , , | Right | December 27, 2017

(The company I work for goes out of business. Fortunately, I am able to get a position in a department store in the same mall, then eventually am promoted to store manager. There is a lot of overlap in the customers. I’m walking the floor one afternoon, when a customer sees me and flags me over.)

Customer: “Hey, don’t you work at [Old Store]?”

Me: “Good eye! They closed about three years ago, and I’ve been working here ever since.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s such a shame they closed down; they had the nicest things.”

Me: “Yeah, I had some good times there, but I’m happy at [Department Store].”

Customer: “Oh, I had a pair of slacks from there I’ve been meaning to return.”

Me: “That’s a shame. The entire company closed about three years ago.”

Customer: “Well, where should I go to make a return?”

Me: “I’m afraid you can’t. Their whole company folded, so there’s nowhere to return them to.”

Customer: “Can’t I return them here?”

Me: “No, I’m afraid not.”

Customer: *getting upset* “But you used to work for [Old Store]; you should be able to do the return!”

Me: “Now I work for [Department Store], and we can’t take returns of merchandise from anywhere else.”

Customer: “But you used to work for [Old Store]!”

Me: “There’s really nothing I can do for you. If you’ll excuse me…”

(A few days later I get buzzed by a cashier.)

Cashier: “Hey, I have a woman here with a return, but it’s pants from [Old Store]? She said you said it was okay, and–“

Me: “No. I said no. Refuse the return.”

Cashier: “Okay, but didn’t you use to work for [Old Store]?”

Me: “Do not do a return for merchandise that is not ours. Do you understand?”

Cashier: “Okay… Jeez.”

Turning Their Entitlement Up To 11

, , , , | Right | December 27, 2017

(It is Sunday, and our store opens at 10:30 for half an hour roaming time. We cannot trade in that half hour, due to trading laws. The cashiers who are assigned to the registers are standing by the customer service desk with me, discussing the new store remodelling we will be doing next week. They are physically unable to login until 11:00, so it is pointless for them to stand by the registers until then. We have a sign at the front noting our inability to trade at this time. A customer lines up and stares at the sign, mouthing the words on it. Several other customers also appear, but upon noticing the sign they leave and look around the store some more. This first customer, however, does not. At around 10:50, she huffs loudly, getting all of our attention. I’m about to speak when she turns away, making as much noise as she can. She walks around the barrier and along entire front aisle before arriving at the service desk. She could have just walked through a gap in the barrier which allows customers to leave.)

Customer: “You are terrible people. I have been standing there for half an hour, and instead of helping me, all you do is talk about me, to my face!

Me: “Miss, the store opened at 10:30.”

Customer: “AND?”

Me: “It’s 10:50. It’s impossible for you to have been standing there for half an hour, and as you should know, we cannot trade until 11. At most I would say you have been there five, maybe ten minutes.”

Customer: *blushing* “HOW THE H*** WOULD I KNOW THAT? NONE OF YOU TOE RAGS TOLD ME!”

Me: “I saw you read the sign.”

Customer: “So, you admit you noticed me and did absolutely nothing?”

Me: “To be honest, I assumed you wanted to be first in line, and were willing to wait for 20 minutes to achieve that. I apologise if I was wrong. I will be more thoughtful in future.”

Customer: “Well, okay, that sounds fair.” *awkward silence* “So, can I buy these, then?”

Me: “We can’t trade for another seven minutes.”

Customer: “YOU’RE ALL F****** USELESS!”

(She threw her basket at us and stormed out of the store. Over the next month we received close to 100 letters complaining about our services, all via special delivery, which required signing for and must have cost a pretty penny. Eventually the store manager refused to take them and we were told they would be returned to the sender. I wasn’t there on the day the customer returned, but apparently a woman matching her description walked in and dumped the returned letters on the floor, before spitting on them and walking out. We have yet to see her again, and the letters have stopped.)

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