You’ll Want To Be Sitting Down For This One

, , , , , , , , | Working | January 7, 2018

(I’ve spent eight hours flying, and am looking forward to finally arriving at my destination. I use a personal wheelchair to get from gate to gate, which means I leave it when I board the plane each time, and it should be waiting for me as I exit. It’s not there when I arrive. I ask the crewmember overseeing the strollers and other gate-checked luggage:)

Me: “Um, sir? Where’s my wheelchair?”

Crewmember: “Oh! That was yours?”

Me: *panicking now* “Yes! What happened?”

Crewmember: “Well, this old lady was having so much trouble walking, we thought it must be hers! She’s being taken to… well, probably wherever her next flight is, or maybe home.”

Me: “But I have a luggage tag! I put a tag on it! You were supposed to check it!”

Crewmember: “Well, I guess we can try to track her down.”

Me: “My wheelchair costs $1,500 and I can’t function without it!”

Crewmember: “Let me call for a transport wheelchair for you. My coworker will be able to help you catch up to her.”

(I panic more as I wait, because the longer it takes, the more likely I’ll never see my chair again. Finally, his coworker arrives.)

Coworker: “Hello, ma’am. I understand you need help finding someone in the airport?”

Me: “He gave away my wheelchair and now she’s God knows where!”

Coworker: “No problem. We’ll track her down in no time.”

(Surprisingly, we do. I’m so relieved. The lady and I switch wheelchairs, and she goes on her way. Before the coworker leaves, I ask him one final question.)

Me: “Don’t you want to check my luggage tag to make sure everything’s right this time?”

Coworker: “Nah! I’m sure you’ve got it!”

(He walked away as my jaw dropped to the floor. I did check it myself, at least!)

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Your Argument Hasn’t Got A Hairy Leg To Stand On

, , , , , | Related | January 6, 2018

(I’ve just gotten up for the morning when my mom storms up to me.)

Mom: “Before you do anything, go back upstairs and shave your legs!”

(I look down at myself. Not only do we not have a formal occasion that necessitates me wearing a dress coming up, but I’m wearing long pants that don’t show my legs at all. Aside from that, my leg hair is barely visible on my legs, because it’s so light.)

Me: “Uh, why?”

Mom: “Just do it!”

(She’s standing at the bottom of the stairs and won’t let me pass, so I just relent and go do it, even though I really don’t like to outside of special occasions. After I’m done, I come back down and ask her again why it was so urgent.)

Mom: “Certain family members complained about it.”

Me: *for a second, I just stare at her, until it sinks in that she’s really serious* “Certain family members need to mind their own freaking business. More importantly, who complained?”

Mom: “You don’t need to know!”

(To this day, she still won’t tell me. Thank God, it hasn’t happened again, but now I go out of my way to not shave my legs if I can help it. I can’t wait to move out.)

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A Crafty Way Of Getting Free Crafts

, , , | Friendly | January 5, 2018

(I run a small craft class at friend’s business. It is my second time doing so. The items we make turn out quite well. The small fee of $5 per person only just covers the cost of the materials. I am not worried because I’m not in it for the money. The next week one of the participants is showing off her creation at another group we are members of. Another woman takes interest in the item.)

Woman: “Ooh, that looks great. Are you able to make more, [My Name]?”

Me: *thinking, “here it comes”* “I’ve got a few supplies left. Not much, though.”

Woman: “Oh, great. I have a conference coming up in a few months. You could make some for me.”

Me: “Uh, how many is some?”

Woman: “A thousand.”

Me: “I’m not making a thousand!”

Woman: “Five hundred, then.”

Me: “No. I don’t have the time for that.”

Woman: “I’m giving you three months.”

Me: “How about I give you the instructions? You will need to source the supplies yourself.”

Woman: “I don’t have time to do that.”

Friend: “What makes you think [My Name] has the time, either? She works full-time.”

(This woman is always trying to get people to volunteer to do things for her. I can also see that she has no intentions of offering payment. She becomes insistent until people back down, but it’s never worked with me. She keeps on at me about making them.)

Me: “They will only cost you four or five dollars each to put together. It will be more if I have to do it.”

Woman: “Four or five? What? Maybe I better not.”

(Later:)

Friend: *to me* “I like how she backed off as soon as you mentioned it was going to cost her money.”

Me: “Yep. If I was going to make them, there’s no way I’d be paying.”

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You’re Too Late To Save Yourself

, , , , , , | Working | January 5, 2018

(I’ve noticed that since summer ended, one of my employees has been routinely late, but clocks in almost exactly 20 minutes after his shift starts. Most of the time, however, I see him before his shift, early. Too many tardy notices and we have to let someone go; its corporate policy and out of my control. I like to give people a chance, so I call him into the office to see if I can help him.)

Me: “So, there’s the trend I’m noticing on your clock-in times. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

Employee: “Well, in the mornings, I put my kids on the school bus, because I don’t like them standing alone in [Sketchy Part of Town]. Then, I take the bus that stops a block over to work. But sometimes the school bus gets there late, I miss my bus, and the next one isn’t for 30 minutes, so I’m late those days.”

Me: “Okay! Well, I wish you’d brought this to my attention sooner. Here’s what we are going to do. I’m moving your entire shift back a half hour. That way, if you catch the later bus, you’ll be on time, and you don’t have to stress.”

Employee: “Seriously? That will help so much. Thank you!”

(Two weeks go by, and I notice the employee is up for a written warning for another three tardies, having clocked in 20 minutes after his new, later start time. I pull him aside.)

Me: “What’s going on here? I moved your shift so that we could fix the issue with you being late, but you’re late more often now!”

Employee: “I’m sorry! It’s just… I don’t want to stand at the bus stop everyday for a half hour. It’s a really bad part of town. So, I’ve been going home to do a few things, and I get distracted, I miss the bus.”

Me: “You’re going to have to figure out how to fix that.”

Employee: “Okay, can we push the shift back another hour? A half hour isn’t much extra time, but I can be back if you give me another half hour.”

Me: “I actually need the 11:00 to 7:00 shift covered, so I’ll allow it, but I need you to understand: this was your last warning. If you are late at all in the next three months, I have no choice but to let you go.”

Employee: “Okay! Thank you!”

(A few days later, the mans supervisor pulls me aside.)

Supervisor: “Just so you know, [Employee] called you a b****.”

Me: “What?”

Supervisor: “He says he took the 10:00 to 6:00 shift specifically to be able to pick up his kids from their after-school program by 7:00. Now, you changed his shift, and he can’t get them in time.”

Me: “Okay, let me tell you what really happened.”

(The situation resolved itself when [Employee] showed up a half hour late two days later. I let his supervisor handle his termination papers, because I was still furious with him.)

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A Roster Not Fit For Public (Holiday) Consumption

, , , , , , | Working | January 5, 2018

(I have noticed that our store, which previously didn’t open on Boxing Day, has decided to open that day this year. My manager has scheduled me to work all day. She always does this for other public holidays and takes the day off herself. I don’t usually work on the day of the week that it happens to fall on.)

Me: “I’ve already made plans for Boxing Day, seeing as we normally don’t open and the fact that it’s not my normal rostered day.”

Manager: “It’s already been submitted.”

Me: “You do realise it’s not legal to force someone to work on Boxing Day?”

Manager: “Think of the money you’ll be getting.”

(My normal hourly rate more than doubles on public holidays. The next day I check the roster, and find that I’ve been removed from working that day.)

Me: “You’ve changed the roster.”

Manager: *not very happy* “Yeah, I had to; [National Manager] is forcing all managers to work to cut costs.”

(They are on fixed-wage. It didn’t help much, as sales only took in an extra $40 after covering wages for the day.)


This story is part of the Boxing Day roundup!

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Read the Boxing Day roundup!

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