Making A Mocha-ry Of Yourself

, , , , , | Right | January 10, 2017

(I have just gotten off my shift and I order a drink to take with me. After marking it out, I decide to get back in line to grab a pound of coffee. When I get to the handoff plane…)

Me: *to my coworker, jokingly* “Where’s my drink? I’ve been waiting for hours! You’re so slow!”

Coworker: “No worries, ma’am, your mocha will be ready shortly!”

Me: *thinking he’s joking* “I didn’t order a mocha! You fool! I want what I ordered!”

Coworker: *completely serious* “Wait, seriously? I don’t have anything else with your name on it here… Did you put a weird name on it?”

Me: “No…”

Coworker: “Did [Other Coworker] write it wrong or something? What did you actually want?”

Me: “No, I wrote it myself since there wasn’t anyone else in line at the time… It was a tall kid’s temp flat white with pumpkin spice and a pump of vanilla. Did the cup fall to the floor or something?”

Coworker: *gasps* “I totally made that and someone grabbed it! Did they really hear all that and still think it was their mocha?”

(I look around, and sure enough, there’s an angry-looking woman peering into her cup a few feet away. She approaches the counter, looking like she is about to go off on my coworker, but I interrupt.)

Me: “Yeah, that was mine.”

Customer: “But it has my name on it!”

Me: “It’s a pumpkin spice flat white… You ordered a mocha, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, but this one has my name on it!”

(By this point, I’m already irritable from being up before the sun and having to stay late on an already-long shift and all I want is to chug my sugary, fattening caffeinated beverage and go home. I’m so tempted to chew this woman out, but I’m still holding my green apron and don’t want to get in trouble or cause problems for the manager, so I have to hold back.)

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know what else to tell you. He’s working on the drink you ordered now. What you have is a totally different drink, which is the drink that I ordered.”

Customer: “With MY name on it?! If it’s not supposed to be mine then why does it say [Name] on it?”

Me: “…because that’s also my name?”

(My coworker finishes the mocha and calls out both the drink and the name.)

Customer: “Well, whose is that since APPARENTLY there’s more than one [Name] around here?!”

Coworker: “Your name is [Name] and you ordered a mocha, correct?”

Customer: “YES!”

Coworker: “Then that one is yours. Have a nice day!”

Customer: *slams other drink on counter* “Well, I already drank out of this! I don’t know what you want me to do about it!” *storms off*

Coworker: *hands my remade drink directly to me* “PLEASE don’t let this out of your grasp because I do NOT want to go through all that again. I’m sure you need it more than anyone else here. Oh, s***, I forgot to make it kid’s temp!”

Me: “It’s fine… I’m already dead inside… Doesn’t matter if I burn the crap out of my tongue…”

This story is part of our Pumpkin Spice roundup!

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Every Waitress Is Someone’s Daughter

, , , , | Right | January 3, 2017

(I am working as a cashier in a fast food restaurant, and a customer has been yelling at me because I won’t take his expired coupon. I’m new to the establishment and I’m on the verge of tears. Suddenly, another customer intervenes.)

Customer #2: “You heard the lady! That is not going to work, so leave her alone!”

([Customer #1] turns around as if to lash at him, realizes [Customer #2] is way taller than him and scoots away without another word. [Customer #2] seems angrier than one would expect.)

Me: “Thanks for that, really.”

Customer #2: “My pleasure. The thing is that my daughter’s first job was at [Similar Establishment], and she learned a lot about responsibilities and finances. Do you know what I learned?”

Me: “Uhh… what?”

Customer #2: “I learned that you haven’t felt true fury until the day your little girl comes home crying because some jerk yelled at her on her first day.”

(Customers who care are truly the best.)

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Enveloped In Holiday Spirit

, , , , | Right | December 30, 2016

(I work for a local bank, and we give out free holiday money envelopes during November and December. We only get two boxes, so we limit five per customer to make the supply last. Most people understand while a few get bent out of shape. This customer is usually a grouch every time he visits.)

Coworker: “Okay, here is your cash. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Grumpy Regular: “Do you have any Christmas envelopes?”

Coworker: “Yes, how many would you like? I can give you about five.”

(My coworker retrieves five envelopes and hands them to him.)

Grumpy Regular: “I need eight.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we have a limit of five per customer. We run out before Thanksgiving if we don’t.”

Grumpy Regular: “I ONLY WANT THREE MORE! I come to this branch all the time!”

Coworker: “I understand, but five is the limit.”

Grumpy Regular: *throws envelopes at my coworker* “YOU KNOW WHAT!? I’M SWITCHING TO [National Bank with terrible customer service]! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” *storms out*

Coworker: “Merry Christmas!”

(Thank God we ran out of the envelopes a few days later!)

This story is part of the grouch day roundup!

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Can’t Be Saved From Daylight Saving

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2016

(It is the day after daylight saving. I am sweeping the lobby when an older gentleman, probably in his fifties, walks up to me looking irritated.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yes! There is something wrong with theater nine!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “The wrong movie is playing! Some d*** animated movie is playing!”

Me: *confused as the movie in question IS supposed to be playing in that theater* “Yes, [Kids’ Movie] is scheduled to play in there right now.”

Customer: “But I wanted to see [Movie]! Not [Kids’ Movie]! The stupid girl at the counter told me the wrong theater!”

Me: “Well, sir, she is new, so that may have happened. I’m not sure which movies are playing where, but if you’d like to follow me, I can point you to the correct theater.”

Customer: *mumbles about incompetent employees but follows me back to the ticket counter*

Me: “Oh, all right! It looks like that was the correct theater. [Movie] just does not play in there until 4:25.”

Customer: “Are you f****** stupid? My movie should have ALREADY started!”

Me: “Uh… It is only 3:30.” *points to the clock on the wall, beneath the movie times* “There is still another hour before your movie starts.”

Customer: “IT IS 4:30 RIGHT NOW!”

(He rolls up his sleeve and shoves his watch in my face. It does say 4:30, but it is starting to dawn on me what happened here.)

Me: “Did you happen to change your watch back an hour for daylight saving time last night, sir?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “At midnight, the clocks went back an hour. It’s 3:30 right now.”

Customer: *his face flushes red* “B… but… well, no one told me I had to do that!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. You may sit in our lobby until your movie starts, or I can refund your ticket if you’d like.”

Customer: “I, uh… I will take a refund.”

(I process the transaction and go to hand his money back to him.)

Me: “Enjoy the rest of your—”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to give a free pass or a coupon, too?”

Me: “I don’t believe so. We typically only give out free passes if a movie breaks down.”

Customer: “But I drove all the way down here and I don’t even get to see my movie!”

Me: “So, you’d like a free pass because you drove down here too early due to you forgetting to change your clocks, even though I fully refunded the ticket?”

Customer: “That is right.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can not do that. Have a nice afternoon!”

(The customer just glared at me and took his money, walking away and still grumbling about horrible service.)

This story is part of our Daylight Saving Time roundup!

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Black Friday Takes The Same Route Every Year

, , , , | Right | November 25, 2016

(I work at one of the largest retail chains in the US. It’s around 11:00 pm on Thanksgiving night, meaning it has already been Black Friday for five hours or so.)

Customer #1: *holding up a wireless router* “Hey, I thought this was the item I was looking for, but then I actually read the box. Do you mind if I just ditch it with you instead of wading through people to get it back to the shelf?”

Me: “No problem. Did you need help finding the item you were looking for?”

Customer #1: “Nope, I just didn’t look close enough. I was busy calculating the price. Kind of silly of me. Got caught up in the spirit of things.”

Customer #2: *suddenly attempting to wrench the router box from my hand* “I’ll take it! Is it on sale?! What is this thing, anyway?!”

Me: “…”

This story is part of our Black Friday roundup!

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