The Age(d) Of Class

, , , , , , | | Friendly | August 14, 2019

(I’m squatted down looking at some books on a completely empty aisle at a particular store that has nothing over $1. It’s important to note that there is a box of stock next to the adjacent shelves so between the box and myself, we’re blocking the aisle should anyone try to go through. After a few minutes, I see someone out of the corner of my eye, but they’re about ten feet away so I assume they’re looking at the books, as well. After about two minutes, the following takes place:)

Old Woman: “You’re rude.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Old Woman: “You’re rude! I’m trying to get by and you’re blocking the aisle!”

Me: *way more polite than I should be* “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you. If I had seen you trying to get by, I would have moved.”

Old Woman: “Bulls***!”

(I’m a little confused at this point because I’ve been nothing but polite to her.)

Me: “Believe what you want, but I would have moved if I saw you trying to get by.”

Old Woman: “You need to treat me with respect! I’m old enough to be your grandmother! You’re supposed to be respectful to your elders.”

Me: “And you need to show a little class.”

(I’m pretty sure she missed my last comment because, by that point, I had moved out of her way and she was looking at some toys, mumbling about how she thought children would like them. I chalked it up to a case of COLS — Crazy Old Lady Syndrome.)

Have You Tried Just… Not Being Epileptic?

, , , , , , | | Healthy | June 23, 2019

(For my first job, I work at a tanning salon. I have had epilepsy my whole life. During the interview, I explain everything to the general manager and the procedures in case I have one at work. Well, the inevitable happens and I have a seizure when it is just me and one coworker, with a store full of customers. One of the customers calls 911 and I wake up surrounded by the fire department. Naturally, I have to take off for a few days to recover. This is the conversation between me and the general manager as soon as I return for my next shift.)

GM: “[My Name], I need to see you in my office.”

(We sit down and she hands me a piece of paper.)

GM: “You need to sign this incident report.”

(I look over it carefully and sign it at the bottom. She looks at me sort of sideways and then continues.)

GM: “Why didn’t you just not come into work that day?”

Me: “Well, it’s not like I woke up and knew it was going to happen. I only have about ten minutes to one hour of warning. And I did call you almost exactly an hour before and told you how I was feeling. You told me to stay.”

GM: “Yeah, I didn’t think it was actually going to happen.”

Me: “Um, okay? Then what do you want me to do about that?”

GM: “You need to get a hold of yourself. I can’t have you seizing out in front of everybody and scaring away my customers. Did you skip your medicine or something?”

(I start to choke up and begin to cry because I can’t believe she just said something so rude, as if I can just control my disability whenever I feel like it.)

Me: “No, I didn’t skip my medicine. These things happen like clockwork every single month regardless, and you were fully aware of that at my very first interview. If I could control it like you seem to think I can, I would never have another seizure again. I can’t believe you just said something like that to me.”

GM: “Oh, don’t be so sensitive. Dry your tears and go clock in.”

(I just looked at her before I walked out of her office. This created a permanent wedge between me and the general manager. Neither one of us ever spoke of it again, and I didn’t have another seizure at work for the rest of the time I worked there. I eventually quit on the spot one day because I couldn’t handle the way she talked down to me like I was some insubordinate. Who would really say something like that to someone?!)

A High Instance Of Asking About Getting High

, , , , | Right | December 7, 2018

(We sell a cannabis energy drink that has hemp seed oil in it. This conversation happens one or two times every week.)

Customer: “Does this have pot in it?”

Me: *stares*

Customer: “Does it?”

Me: “Well, pot is still illegal in Tennessee. What do you think?”

Customer: “Um, well, but… What’s in it? Fake pot?”

Me: “Hemp seed oil.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s the part of the plant that can be used for making paper and macramé jewelry.”

Customer: “Does it get you high?”

Me: *sigh* “No. If it did, I’d be drinking them all the time.”

Buy One, Get Two Idiots

, , , , , | Right | December 7, 2018

(We run buy-one-get-one-half-off, and buy-one-get-one-for-a-dollar sales.)

Customer: “If I buy one at $9.99, I get the $19.99 one half-price, right?”

Me: “Where are you getting that deal?”

Customer: “Nowhere.”

Me: “Okay. If you find that deal somewhere, you come back and tell me. Promise?”

Customer: “Okay!”

(The customer picks out two pieces for the BOGO $1 sale that are the same price.)

Customer: “Which one will be a $1?”

Me: “They’re the same price.”

Customer: “Yeah, so which one do I get for $1?”

Me: *blinks* “Whichever one you want.”

If It Ain’t Broke, Go To Lunch

, , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

(I work at a casino, and currently I’m working at the cashier cage. Each cage has only one of my position at any time, so break times aren’t usually important, since nobody ever needs to cover me. Because of this, I usually take my lunch pretty late in my shift. One day I get called into the office by my manager, who tells me that I need to take my lunch exactly four hours into my shift, since my late lunches are disrupting everyone else. I agree and go back to work. However, the very next day, I call to go to my lunch right on time, getting the same manager.)

Me: “Hey, I’m going to take my lunch.”

Manager: “Oh, can you wait 20 minutes? We’re busy over here, and can’t send someone else over there.”

Me: “What? Nobody needs to cover me, and you just yelled at me for taking my lunch late.”

Manager: “Well, I still need you to wait. Call back in 20 minutes!” *hangs up*

(I wound up waiting almost two hours to take my lunch, which was the time I was taking them before. After that, I just kept taking my lunches at the same time, and my manager never said another word.)

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