Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

You Make Me Feel Week

, , , , , | Romantic | May 25, 2018

(My girlfriend and I — also female — have been dating for six years, and recently moved to Italy together as we are both archaeologists. I decide to talk a bit about the future while we’re watching TV.)

Me: “Do you ever think about the future?”

Girlfriend: “Sometimes, I guess. I prefer to think about now. Why? Am I still in your future?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. But only for one more week.”

([Girlfriend] looks at me in horror.)

Me: “I’m joking! Don’t look so scared! You should know me by now!”

(She relaxes.)

Girlfriend: “Good, because you’re in my future to stay.”

(A week later I take her out to dinner, something we don’t do very often, and then for a walk in the nearby park. It’s clear to her that this is something special, but she doesn’t ask any questions.)

Me: “You remember how I said you were only going to be my girlfriend for one more week?”

(The horrified look returns. I turn to face her and get down on one knee.)

Me: “How about being my fiancée, instead?”

(She said yes, and we both cried. A year later, she isn’t my fiancée anymore; she’s my wife.)


This story is part of our Proposals roundup!

Read the next Proposals roundup story!

Read the Proposals roundup!

Chocolate Cures All, Part 3

, , , | Hopeless | May 24, 2018

(I work in a currency exchange. A customer approaches and asks for the tax-free service we do to non-EU customers. He’s very happy and nice, and he makes jokes and laughs all the time. The transaction is almost done when he asks:)

Customer: “You both look tired! How long have you been there?”

Colleague: “She’s here since 3:00 pm; I’m here since 11:00 am.”

Customer: “NO WAY! Is that why you’re drinking hot chocolate?”

Me: “Yes! And tomorrow I get her shift, and I’m going to stay here from 11:00 am to 7:00 pm.”

Customer: “OH! You get the bad shift tomorrow! I’ll be back, then!”

Me: *joking* “Then bring chocolate!”

Customer: “Sure! See you tomorrow”

(The customer doesn’t come back, and I forget about him. A few days later, in the same location…)

Customer: “Here you are! We’ve been looking for you for two days; we came with chocolate, but you weren’t there! What time do you close?”

Me: “8:30 pm.”

Customer: “I’ll be back before you close!”

(He actually came back with a chocolate pastry, hugged me, and said goodbye! He was one of the most pleasant customers I’ve ever had! Thank you, happy guy!)

Related:
Chocolate Cures All, Part 2
Chocolate Cures All

Eww-ro

, , | Right | April 26, 2018

(I work in a currency exchange. Two men come to my till and start negotiating the price for 1000 USD converted into Euro. They negotiate A LOT, and they try to be funny and flatter me, but the only result is that they look like douchebags that want to convince me to make a better price. I stand firm on a minimum amount that I know I’m allowed to make to guarantee the company a little income from the transaction.)

Me: “It’s 873€.”

Customer: “Okay. Let me take the money.”

(They talk to each other in their language, laughing.)

Customer: “You said 923€, right?”

Me: “No, sir, I said 873€.”

Customer: “Come on; do 875€!”

Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry. But if you want to change here, right now, this is the price I can offer. It’s already very discounted, and I can’t give you one euro more.”

Customer: “Ugh, it’s just 2€ difference.” *then he says in a VERY cheesy way* “Are all Italian women this hard?”

Me: *showing off my wedding band and without skipping a beat* “Yes. Especially those who are married.”

Customer: “Uh… That was a good one.”

(They got their money and took off.)

This Joke Is At Least Ten Years Old

, , , | Right | April 15, 2018

(At the time of the story, my future husband and I are still attending university, and we are regulars at the little cafe in the engineering building. Today, I’m particularly hungry.)

Bartender: “G’day. What will you be having?”

Me: “A coffee and one of those…” *pointing at the kourabiedes* “…what’s their name, here.”

Bartender: *offended* “What do you mean, ‘What’s their name’? We’ve had them for ten years, and…”

Husband: “What? We don’t want ten-year-old pastries, man; we want fresh ones!”

(And that’s how we were never allowed into that cafe again.)

 

Snakes In A Drain

, , , , , | Friendly | April 13, 2018

When I was 16, I had the opportunity to go on a multi-city European trip with two of my best friends, their parents, and a few other adults. One friend was my age, and her younger sister was 13. We arrived in Rome during the first leg of the trip and went straight to the hotel, since it was already pretty late. The younger sister called dibs on using the shower first. So, the older sister and I decided to turn the TV on to find a weather report for the next day. This was before smartphones, and there was no guest-use computer in the hotel that we knew of.

When we turned the TV on, it happened to be on a channel showing an Italian-dubbed version of the 1997 movie Anaconda, right at a part when the giant snake pops out of the water hissing and people start shouting, etc. Next thing we knew, we heard [Younger Sister] screaming her head off in the bathroom. She came running out, soaking wet and barely holding a towel over herself, screaming, “There’s a snake in the bathroom!”

The older sister and I looked at each other, and then we looked at the TV. I ran into the bathroom, and sure enough, there was a speaker in the ceiling that could have easily been mistaken for an air vent. The previous occupant had also apparently turned the volume all the way up.

I laughed so hard I cried, and the older sister practically rolled off the bed. [Younger Sister] was pretty mad at us, even though we had no way of knowing there was a speaker in the bathroom or that Anaconda would be the first thing on TV when we turned it on, but she didn’t speak to us again until the next day.

We’re all now in our 20s, and I recently reminded both of them about that story. The younger sister can laugh about it now!