It Servers A Purpose

, , , , | Right | March 22, 2019

(I work in IT Procurement, so we supply IT stuff; laptops, keyboards, headphones and the like.)

Customer: “Hi, I would like to order 25 liters of sun-reflecting white paint, please!”

Me: “Sorry, this is IT Procurement; we only supply IT equipment.”

Customer: “But this is IT equipment! See, we are going to paint the server room with that paint.”

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Unfiltered Story #103694

, , , | Unfiltered | January 15, 2018

A caller submits a self service ticket through email with an attachment. He is having issues logging into one of our services on his iPhone and wants to show the error message.

What does he do? He literally scans his phone and sends it in.

He’s REALLY Away From Keyboard

, , , | Working | December 11, 2017

(I’m an IT technician who is currently fixing another worker’s webcam remotely, as I am on one side of the country while he is on the other. He has told me he will be away for half an hour, so I’m left to work alone. I finish updating the drivers and quickly load the webcam software to see if that has fixed the problem. When the window loads I’m met with two men completely naked and standing up, engaged in sex, one being the guy whose computer I’m working on. I’m in shock for a couple of seconds when I hear “OH, S***” and see them turn quickly and the webcam (which is integrated into the laptop’s monitor) face downwards. I quickly disconnect. I’m a little shaken, but ultimately decide to try and forget about it. I quickly send an email confirming the problem has been fixed and my intent to close his ticket.)

Me: “It would seem the drivers needed updating, and from what I’ve seen the webcam is working correctly now. If there are no other issues, I will be closing your ticket.”

Worker: “Wow, sorry about that. I didn’t expect it to be fixed so soon. I hope it wasn’t a tad much for you, seeing that. Let’s just keep this between us. Thanks for the help!”

(I never had any more tickets come in from him, thankfully…)

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Trying New Outlets For Troubleshooting

, , , , | Right | August 24, 2017

(One of my favourite phone calls when I worked in IT support, which still makes me smile:)

Customer: “Hello, I would like to report one faulty radio charger, please.”

Me: “Hello! Did you try plugging it to a different power outlet?”

Customer: “That’s a good question! Let me try that.”

(A few seconds of fumbling around.)

Customer: “I would like to report one faulty power outlet, please.”

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Time To Restart All Over

, , , | Working | July 1, 2017

(I spend nearly hour on a call where the user didn’t let me remotely connect to her computer. I’m really hoping that we will finish soon because I can take only some amount of repeating same things over and over.)

Me: “Now, please go to start menu and into search field type gpupdate. G for George, P for Peter, update all together.”

User: “It was ‘C’ for Charlie…”

Me: “No, ‘G’ for George, ‘P’ for Peter, update—”

User: “Hold on. Where should I put this?”

Me: “Search field in start menu.”

User: “Okay, I have it. What should I put in?”

Me: ‘G’ for George, ‘P’ for Peter, ‘U’ for uniform, ‘P’ for Peter, ‘D’ for David, ‘A’ for apple, ‘T’ for Thomas, ‘E’ for emperor—” *I use emperor because ‘echo’ is something nobody understand, same for foxtrot, I usually say ‘Frank’ or ‘family’*

User: “Oh, and what now?”

Me: “Hit enter please. You should see black box saying ‘updating policy.'”

User: “No, it shows restarting.”

Me: “How did you mistype ‘gpupdate’ to ‘shutdown space dash R’?”

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