Should Be A Customer Screening Process

| NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

User: “Well, if I upgrade to that monitor arm, what happens to the little thing that’s under my computer?”

Me: *confused* “What little thing that’s under your computer?”

User: “This thing.” *user taps her computer*

Me: “That is your computer.”

Other IT Guy: “Did she just say that?”

User: “Well, the screens and the keyboard are the only pieces that I need anyway.”

No Time Lie The Present

| AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(Our company gets hit with spam that asks people to go to an external website and enter your username & password. We block the email but the damage is done, so you pull up a log of people who went to the website and cold call all 50 of them as fast as possible. Five minutes in I get this guy:)

Me: “Hey, you apparently clicked the email and entered your—”

Him: “No, I didn’t.”

Me: “I just need you to change your password; I have a record of you going to the spammy website—”

Him: “No, I didn’t.”

Me: “I literally have a list in front of me. Not only did you put in your username and password, you did it twice when it didn’t work!”

Him: “I didn’t click that—”

Me: “I don’t have time for you to lie to me right now; I’m forcing a password reset and logging you off. Enjoy your week.”

(My boss gave me a slow clap for dealing with this man…)

How To Get Yourself Fired

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(I work for an IT company that, among other things, provides technical support for IT equipment to customers. On company I take calls for has hundreds of small restaurants dotted across the UK. I receive a call from a site in London around the time of the riots.)

Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, this is [Store]. The building next to us has been set fire and the smoke and flames are coming into our building. What do we do?”

Me: *in a slightly panicked voice* “Silly question, but have you contacted the fire department and evacuated the building?”

Customer: “errr… No, what’s their number?”

Me: “999.” *the number for emergency services in the UK*

Customer: “Okay, I’ll call them now.”

Page 1/612345...Last