(I have a birthday voucher that gives me 10% off my purchase. I am buying two items.)

Employee: “Okay, your total comes to [total].”

Me: “That’s with the 10% off?”

Employee: “Yes, I gave you 5% of each item.”

Me: “That’s not the same thing.”

Employee: “Yes, it is. You get 10% off your whole purchase.”

Me: “Right, but you gave me 5% off.”

Employee: “I think we’re both saying the same thing…”

(My friend and I had to prove to her, using a calculator, that 10% off both items and 5% off each were not the same!)

Patient: “I’d like an appointment tomorrow with the doctor.”

Me: “How does 11:20 sound?”

Patient: “No! I want something between 11:00 and 11:30!”

Me: “No problem! How bout 11:20?”

Patient: “Great, see you then!”

This story is part of the Customer Complaints That Resolve Themselves roundup!

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Me: “Thank you, have a nice day.”

Customer: “That’s an interesting accent. Where are you from?”

Me: “South Africa.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “In Africa.”

Customer: “Where’s Africa?”

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(This is before software was available to legally download and only came on purchased CDs.)

Customer: “Hi, can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I have Windows on my computer and it’s not booting up properly anymore.”

Me: “Did you buy the PC here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you buy Windows here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid I can’t really help you with that.”

Customer: “Look here, you sell Windows. I downloaded and installed Windows, and it’s not working. You’re supposed to help me.”

Me: “Let me just get it right. You’ve downloaded a copy of Windows, installed it, and now it’s giving you problems.”

Customer: “Yes, and it’s your job to help me.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Here’s Microsoft Israel support phone number. Call them and tell them exactly what you told me.”