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Back To The Future

, , , | Related | December 31, 2013

(It is near New Year’s Eve 1985. I am eight years old.)

Me: “Dad, when the year changes from 1999 to 2000, will you let me stay up until midnight on New Year’s Eve?”

Dad: “You’ll be 25 then; you won’t need my permission.”

(I’m stunned; it’s the first time I really face the fact that I’ll actually be an adult one day, so I remember the incident well. Fast forward to near New Year’s Eve 2000, and I am 25 and living with my girlfriend. I am chatting with my dad over the phone.)

Me: “Hey, do you remember when I was a child, and asked you about staying up late on New Year’s Eve 2000?”

(I proceed to remind him, and he laughs.)

Me: “…well?”

Dad: “Well what?”

Me: “Well, can I stay up until midnight?”

Dad: “Okay, just since you asked, then NO! I want you in bed and ready for story-time by 8:30!”

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No Vocation For Location, Part 6

, , , | Right | August 21, 2013

(I am a South African working at a hotel restaurant in Israel. The establishment has both servers and guests from all over the world. Generally, people are interested in finding out where people are from and why they’re here. One day, I am clearing a table for an American couple.)

Me: “Shalom! I hope you enjoyed your meal. May I take your plates?”

Husband: “Yes, please. It was great.”

Wife: “Hey, you sound weird. Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from South Africa.”

Wife: “Really?! South Africa… where is that?”

Me: “Err…”

Husband: *embarrassed* “Honey, it’s in Africa. If you look at a map, it’s right down at the bottom.”

Wife: “Oh…” *blank look* “Oh! Kangaroos, right?”

Husband: “Err…” *looks at me apologetically*

Me: *just smiles* “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!”


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Signs Our Educational System Is Going South

, , , , | Right | October 13, 2011

Me: “Thank you, have a nice day.”

Customer: “That’s an interesting accent. Where are you from?”

Me: “South Africa.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “In Africa.”

Customer: “Where’s Africa?”


This story is part of the South Africa Roundup!

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Straight Into The Lion’s Den

, , , | Right | August 25, 2008

(This is before software was available to legally download and only came on purchased CDs.)

Customer: “Hi, can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I have Windows on my computer and it’s not booting up properly anymore.”

Me: “Did you buy the PC here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you buy Windows here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid I can’t really help you with that.”

Customer: “Look here, you sell Windows. I downloaded and installed Windows, and it’s not working. You’re supposed to help me.”

Me: “Let me just get it right. You’ve downloaded a copy of Windows, installed it, and now it’s giving you problems.”

Customer: “Yes, and it’s your job to help me.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Here’s Microsoft Israel support phone number. Call them and tell them exactly what you told me.”

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