(I teach seventh grade social studies. To start the year, each student is drawing a map of the school.)
Student #1: “Miss! I can’t do this! I don’t know what the school looks like!”
Me: “It’s shaped like a backwards capital ‘F.'”
Student #1: “I forgot what an ‘F’ looks like!”
Student #2: “Dude, she’s about to show you what an ‘F’ looks like.”
(Please note that this is a small, two-sided, two-windowed coffee shop. We currently have two customers, one at each window.)
Customer: *speaking slowly* “Wow. Y’all are really busy. Man. Can’t believe you’re so busy right now.”
Manager: *laughs* “Yeah, we’re totally slammed.”
Customer: “Y’all gots a lot of cars here for a tiny place.”
(At this point, we realize the woman is serious.)
Manager: “Uh…yeah. We’re actually really slow right now. Have a nice day, bye!”
Customer: “What?” *muttering* “There’s just so many people…”
Manager: *closes window* “I haven’t seen anybody that baked since I was in high school. Wow.”
(It took the woman three minutes to pull out of the driveway and onto the completely empty street. I hope she made it home okay.)
(I am working in the drive-thru. It is a very busy Friday night during dinner rush, and it also happens to be a payday. This is before the proliferation of debit cards, so we only accept cash, and four out of five customers are paying with twenty dollar bills from their fresh paychecks. My drawer is running low of small bills to make change with.)
Me: “Hey, when you get a chance I need fives; they keep paying with twenties and I am running low on bills for change.”
Manager: “Okay, give me a minute.”
(The drive-thru line is wrapped around the building, and there is a steady stream of customers at the counter as well, but she manages to deliver some fives to me relatively quickly. However…)
Me: “Only 4 fives?”
Manager: “You don’t need any more than that.”
(The next two cars in line both order a single value meal, costing around six dollars each, and each pays with a twenty. After taking both payments, I make a new request for fives.)
Manager: “But I just gave you some a minute ago!”
Me: “And I used them to make change for two cars, and now I’m out of them again.”
(She returned another minute later with another 4 five dollar bills, and the cycle repeated where I needed more fives after a handful of cars. After yet another request for fives came in that five-minute period, she got the hint and came back with a hundred dollars worth of fives, ensuring that I would have enough change in reserve for the remainder of the dinner rush.)
(I am a customer in line. Because this is a party town, this particular gas station closes its restrooms at 10 pm to avoid drunk college students messing up the place. There are two 20-something girls talking to the male cashier.)
Girl #1: “Please let us use the restroom. It’ll be quick.”
Cashier: “I’m sorry, but the owner doesn’t want us to make exceptions. There are port-a-potties outside by the parking lot you’re free to use.”
Girl #1: “Come on. Look at me.”
(She starts batting her eyes and pushes out her chest.)
Girl #1: “I bet you don’t meet many girls who pay attention to you. But I’m looking at you.”
Girl #2: “What if I look you in the eyes? Then will you let us use it?”
Cashier: *stares blankly* “…No, I’m sorry but I am not allowed to unlock it.”
Girl #2: “BUT I’M LOOKING AT YOU.”
Cashier: “Okay, but—”
Girl #1: “GOD, WHAT AN A**-HOLE! You’re lucky we even talked to you, and this is how we’re treated!”
(Both girls stormed out, leaving everyone else in the store bewildered.)
(I’m working near the reference desk, when some teens come running in. Three different coworkers spot them and tell them to stop running. They don’t listen. The youth librarian steps in.)
Youth Librarian: “Hey, come over here.”
Teen #1: “I wasn’t running!”
Youth Librarian: “Look, you can stay in here, but be quiet and stop running.”
Teen #1: “But I wasn’t running!”
Teen #2: “Yeah, none of us were.”
Youth Librarian: “Okay, that’s it. You’re banned for the night. You do this again, you’re banned for a week. You keep it up, and I will ban you for a month. GET OUT.”
(The teens leave, still insisting they weren’t running.)
Me: “Did they just say they weren’t running when literally everyone in the room saw them running?”
Coworker: “Yeah. Yeah they did…”
