Not The Brightest Idea

, , , | Right | September 16, 2010

Customer: “Can you turn this light off?” *points to the light hanging over the table*

Me: “I’m sorry, but all the lights are connected. I can take the bulb out, but I would need to get a towel because it’s hot.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I return under a minute later with a towel to see the light off.)

Customer: “I took care of it.”

(After clearing the table, I saw that she’d broken the bulb and put the glass pieces in her salad.)

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Their Spelling Is Wrong, But They Are Sticking To It

, , , | Right | June 4, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Internet Provider]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I am trying to provision my personal modem for your Internet and I am having issues. Could you help?”

Me: “Sure. May I please have your modem id?”

Caller: “001, E as in igloo, A as in apple, 3251, E as in igloo.”

Me: “So that was 001, Echo, Alpha, 3251, Echo?”

Caller: “No. E as in Igloo!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but Igloo begins with an I.”

Caller: “The heck it does! Igloo is spelled E-G-L-U-E. I have a G.E.D.! You can’t pull one over on me, Mr. Fancy Pants!”


This story is part of the Bad With English roundup!

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Brains Not Included

, , , | Right | February 26, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. This is [My Name]. Can I get your account number?”

Caller: “Well, I don’t have your service. I just have a question.”

Me: “Okay, what is your question?”

Caller: “My remote doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that, but we are an Internet company and this is Internet tech support.”

Caller: “I know that, but why can’t you help me?”

Me: “We don’t do anything with TVs.”

Caller: “It’s not my TV. It’s my remote.”

Me: “Your remote for your TV?”

Caller: “No!”

Me: “Your remote for what?”

Caller: “My television!”

Me: “Okay…well, we still can’t help you with that.”

Caller: “This tech support is stupid! You are all stupid!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Caller: “I wouldn’t if you fixed my remote. The buttons aren’t making the television change.”

Me: “Have you tried changing out the batteries?”

Caller: “What do you think I am, stupid, like you? Of course I didn’t do that! It would shut the remote off!” *hangs up*

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