It’s Not The Customer’s Fault When It Totally Is

, , , , | Working | June 28, 2019

(I was promoted to supervisor at my store, meaning I am allowed to be involved in the hiring process for the first time. As such, my district manager is beside me to make sure everything goes okay. We conduct a group interview with four people. When given a scenario about a guest wanting a refund due to weather, they all decide as a group that the best answer is, “They should’ve checked the weather app beforehand.”)

District Manager: “So, that’s it? Would you guys apologize?”

Person #1: “Well, obviously, apologize, but they should’ve checked the app.”

(The inner retail worker in me was screaming YES, because I agree, but we didn’t hire any of them because of their poor customer service answers.)

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At Least She Was Being Honest

, , , , | Working | May 25, 2019

(I’m interviewing new candidates for a role in the IT team that I manage. I’m on an interview panel with our senior HR officer and our director of finance, who is also my boss. We’re currently interviewing a young woman fresh out of university.)

Me: “Okay, [Candidate], what would you say is your biggest weakness?”

Candidate: “Hmm…” *thinks for a minute* “…I’m going to have to say honesty!”

Me: “Honesty?”

Candidate: “Yep, honesty. I’m too honest for my own good!”

(The HR officer, the financial director, and I all look at each other, confused.)

Financial Director: “I don’t think honesty really counts as a weakness.”

Candidate: “Yeah? Well, I don’t give a f*** what you think!”

(We didn’t hire her!)

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Boy Racer “Careers” Off The Road

, , | Working | May 20, 2019

My wife is driving to interview three suppliers to install equipment in a new building. On the way to the interview, she was cut off by an idiot boy-racer in a sports car. He also wound the car window down and let her have a stream of abuse.

As she was driving to the interview location, she saw the idiot in front of her turn into the same car park she was going to. Boy Racer thought she’d followed him on purpose and let fly with more abuse.

My wife then followed him into the new building but said nothing to him. Ten minutes later, he had to go into the interview room to see my wife chairing the selection panel.

As you might imagine, they didn’t get the contract, and my wife was able to tell the company CEO exactly why.

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That Was Still Productive

, , , , , | Working | January 1, 2019

(When I first get promoted to management, part of my training is learning to interview a potential employee. My first interview, monitored by my boss, is of an older gentleman who is retired and just needs something to occupy his time, part time. It goes like this:)

Me: “Are you capable of multitasking, and if so, can you give an example of when you did?”

Interviewee: “So, let’s just say there’s a terrible car crash. And you—“ *points to me* “—are horribly mangled; your limbs are everywhere! But he—“ *points to my boss* “—just has a concussion. Clearly, I would help you first right?!”

(Okay, not an example of multitasking, but I guess it’s good prioritization? I proceed with my final question.)

Me: “Have you ever worked with an unproductive coworker, and if so, how did you handle the situation?”

Interviewee: “What does that mean? Unproductive? I don’t know what that means.”

(End of interview. But my boss said it was a great example of who not to hire.)

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Top Marks For Honesty

, , , , , | Working | December 10, 2018

(I’m a manager at a chain restaurant and one of my responsibilities is interviewing potential employees for a job. I like to ask people why those chose to apply for us instead of our competitors, because we hold ourselves to a higher standard and want employees who actually want to work for our company specifically, not just a job for money. This happens when I ask that question.)

Me: “So,why did you choose to apply specifically to us? Our competition down the street is also hiring, but you chose us. Why’s that?”

Candidate: “Well, when I think of them, they always be busy and stuff. But when I think of y’all, I don’t think y’all get busy. And I’m trying to get a job where I don’t have to work so hard.”

(She did not get the job.)

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