Caller: “I would like to get a better auto insurance rate.”
Me: “I’ll be glad to go over your policy for possible discounts.”
Caller: “No need. The discount that I want added is one that most people will not qualify for. I belong to an elite group of drivers that do not ever have accidents.”
Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we do not offer that discount.”
(Probably because that caller was the only one in that ‘elite’ group.)
Related:
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5
(I’m 25 and have been working for several years. I’ve only just learned to drive and passed the test. I decide to go with a lease car suggested by my dad’s friend, since it actually works out cheaper as a long-term investment. I’m calling the car company’s insurance line.)
Me: “Hi, I’m calling to activate my seven-days free insurance for my new car?”
Agent: “Okay, I just need your personal details and the details of your car.”
(I give her them, including my date of birth and the manufacture year of the car.)
Agent: “Ooh, that’s a new model! Somebody’s being spoilt!”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Agent: “You’re getting [Car] as your first car? There’s no way a teenager could afford that. Mummy and daddy must love you! Lucky for some!”
Me: “Actually, I’m paying for this out of my own pocket. If you’ll notice my age, I’ve held off on learning to drive and buying a car until I could afford to pay for it all – and run it – myself.”
Agent: “Oh. Well… how was I supposed to know?”
Me: “Maybe in the future, don’t make assumptions about people!”
Customer: “Why doesn’t my insurance work?”
Me: “You’re no longer with [Insurance Company #1]. Your employer moved you to company [Insurance Company #2], [Insurance Company #3], or [Insurance Company #4]. Have you received a welcome kit from any of those companies?”
Customer: “Yes, I chose to go with [Insurance Company #2].”
Me: “Your insurance is with [Insurance Company #2] now, then. You need to use that insurance.”
Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!?”
(A charming older gent calls to switch his cover to a new car. After a great phone call and general natter about his insurance and what he’s covered for, etc., everything is all sorted and I’m winding up the call.)
Me: “So, we’re all done! Was there anything else I can help you with today?”
Customer: “Thanks! No, that was all – Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”
Me: “You’re welcome! My name is Lotte.”
(There is brief silence from him so I feel like he may be wondering if he heard me right, so I explain.)
Me: “It’s shortened from Charlotte, but hardly anyone really calls me that, and
when they do I get the sneaking suspicion that I’m being told off, haha.”
Customer: “Ah, okay, but I bet your boyfriend calls you Lotto.”
Me: “Uhhh… Lotto?”
Customer: “Yeah, Lotto! Coz he’s hit the jackpot with you!”
(Understandably I was lost for words! It was funny, sweet and odd all at the
same time! Made my day and I’m still gob-smacked at how quick he was…)
(I am a security officer at a medical insurance facility. The street we are located on isn’t exactly reputable, and we get a lot of trouble from ‘ladies of the evening’ attempting to solicit our clients or even our associates. While on patrol, I notice one of our repeat offenders very blatantly trying to flag down traffic.)
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re not here as a client, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Lady: “No, it’s fine; I’m not even doing anything.” *continues to wave*
Me: “Ma’am, this is a private campus. You can’t—”
Lady: “No, really, it’s fine.”
Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police on you for trespassing—”
Lady: *now getting rather heated* “I’m not doing anything wrong!”
Me: “Then what are you doing here, trying to wave down traffic?”
Lady: *without hesitation* “I’m not waving down traffic. I’m waving at the wind!”
(There is a long pause as the woman apparently processed how stupid this sounded. She then smiled, and quickly walked away. To this day I’m still not sure this was spur of the moment, or worse, a rehearsed excuse.)
