Not Very Re-Insuring

| USA | Right | July 23, 2015

Customer: “Why doesn’t my insurance work?”

Me: “You’re no longer with [Insurance Company #1]. Your employer moved you to company [Insurance Company #2], [Insurance Company #3], or [Insurance Company #4]. Have you received a welcome kit from any of those companies?”

Customer: “Yes, I chose to go with [Insurance Company #2].”

Me: “Your insurance is with [Insurance Company #2] now, then. You need to use that insurance.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!?”

Won Liner

, | Auckland, New Zealand | Romantic | July 3, 2015

(A charming older gent calls to switch his cover to a new car. After a great phone call and general natter about his insurance and what he’s covered for, etc., everything is all sorted and I’m winding up the call.)

Me: “So, we’re all done! Was there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Thanks! No, that was all – Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?”

Me: “You’re welcome! My name is Lotte.”

(There is brief silence from him so I feel like he may be wondering if he heard me right, so I explain.)

Me: “It’s shortened from Charlotte, but hardly anyone really calls me that, and

when they do I get the sneaking suspicion that I’m being told off, haha.”

Customer: “Ah, okay, but I bet your boyfriend calls you Lotto.”

Me: “Uhhh… Lotto?”

Customer: “Yeah, Lotto! Coz he’s hit the jackpot with you!”

(Understandably I was lost for words! It was funny, sweet and odd all at the

same time! Made my day and I’m still gob-smacked at how quick he was…)

Will Need To Waive The Wave Excuse

| Spokane, WA, USA | Right | April 26, 2015

(I am a security officer at a medical insurance facility. The street we are located on isn’t exactly reputable, and we get a lot of trouble from ‘ladies of the evening’ attempting to solicit our clients or even our associates. While on patrol, I notice one of our repeat offenders very blatantly trying to flag down traffic.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re not here as a client, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Lady: “No, it’s fine; I’m not even doing anything.” *continues to wave*

Me: “Ma’am, this is a private campus. You can’t—”

Lady: “No, really, it’s fine.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police on you for trespassing—”

Lady: *now getting rather heated* “I’m not doing anything wrong!”

Me: “Then what are you doing here, trying to wave down traffic?”

Lady: *without hesitation* “I’m not waving down traffic. I’m waving at the wind!”

(There is a long pause as the woman apparently processed how stupid this sounded. She then smiled, and quickly walked away. To this day I’m still not sure this was spur of the moment, or worse, a rehearsed excuse.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

| England, UK | Right | March 8, 2015

Customer: “Hello. I’ve got an email from you saying you’ve not been able to take my direct debit this month. Why’s that?”

(I take the customers policy number, confirm his details, and investigate his payments. Nothing’s changed at our end to account for it, so I ask…)

Me: “Did you have [amount] in your account for the payment?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you haven’t told your bank to cancel the direct debit?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No changes, at all, to your bank or finances? Nothing you can think of that may have caused this change?”

Customer: “Well, I closed my bank account recently…”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34

Doing A Bad Job (Description)

| Surrey, England, UK | Working | January 27, 2015

(My husband applies for a job and makes it to the final two candidates, to be told the other applicant got the job but that it was a difficult decision, with a ‘cigarette paper’ between the two. Encouraged, he applies for a different job with the same company a few months later.)

Husband: *to Receptionist* “I’m here for my interview with [Interviewer].”

Receptionist: “I’ll let her know you’re here.”

(Several minutes later, well past the interview start time, the interviewer arrives.)

Interviewer: “I’m sorry Mr. [Husband] you’ve wasted your time applying. We told you last time you were unsuccessful.”

Husband: “That was for a different job. This job is—”

Interviewer: “It’s the same job. It’s just a different title.”

Husband: “I beg to differ. Here is the job description. It’s completely different to the job I applied for a few months ago and it has a different title. I’ve just driven for 45 minutes and you’re not ready for the interview which was scheduled by your HR department?”

Interviewer: “It’s the same job. You really should confirm details like this before you set out for an interview.”

Husband: “So, if your HR department advertises a different job with a different title and job description, I should assume it’s the one you said I NEARLY GOT several months ago and not apply? After my last interview, which was with you, yourself, you said you were happy to consider me for any other suitable positions.”

Interviewer: “Um. I’m sorry you’ve wasted your time.”

Husband: “I’m sorry, you’ve wasted my time, inviting me for an interview for a job which was advertised by your HR department but which apparently doesn’t exist!”

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