This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 60

| West Hartford, CT, USA | Right | January 9, 2017

(I work for an insurance company, and it is my job to meet with people to assess their life insurance needs. In order to do that we have to find out some background information about their personal financial situation. Today, I am at one potential client’s house doing just that.)

Me: “So now that we’re on the topic of debt, do you have any debt to speak of?”

Client: “Well, I have my mortgage, so that’s 350,000, and I have my car loan and student loans, so together that’s probably another 50,000.”

Me: “Is that all the debt you have?”

Client: “Yes. Well, besides my credit card debt and some I owe to the government.”

Me: “Oh, how much do you have in credit card debt?”

Client: “Well, between my husband and me, about 340,000 in credit card debt. But we don’t worry about that because we don’t pay the credit card companies any more.”

Me: *pausing to think of some way of explaining that you have to pay debt or risk going bankrupt* “So, you mean to tell me that you owe credit card companies over 300,000 dollars and you aren’t paying them anything?”

Client: “That’s what I just told you.”

Me: “Well, you can’t just not pay your debts. If you absolutely can’t, you can go bankrupt, but that will ruin your credit, and you won’t be able to buy that boat you were talking about buying, or finance any other major expense.”

Client: *completely irate* “HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO! GO BACK TO YOUR HOLE, YOU… YOU… YOU GARGOYLE!”

Me: *taken aback by being called a gargoyle, but keeping my cool* “I think we might be done here. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Client: “I’M GONNA CALL THE COPS!”

Me: “Goodbye, ma’am.”

 

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 2

| MI, USA | Working | October 14, 2016

(I buy a used vehicle and start shopping for insurance, as the law in my state requires I have insurance in order to register or drive the vehicle. I put in an online request for a quote from three different companies. I hear back from two, never hear from the third, and ultimately go with the first. A month later, the third company calls me.)

Agent: “Hi, I see you’ve put in a request for an insurance quote.”

Me: “Well, yes, but I already bought insurance.”

Agent: “What? You didn’t even get our quote yet!”

Me: “It’s been a month. I had to have insurance. I’m sorry.”

Agent: “Well, thank you for WASTING MY TIME!”

 

Burnin’ Down The House!

| USA | Working | September 16, 2016

(My husband calls our insurance company to discuss our home insurance because our coverage is too high compared to the value of our home.)

Employee: “The reason it’s so high is if something catastrophic happened to your home the first thing we would do is pay off your mortgage, then build you a new house.”

Husband: “Wait, what? If our house is destroyed we get a brand new house and no mortgage?”

Employee: “Yep.”

Husband: “That can’t be right; everyone would just burn down their houses! Can I talk to your supervisor?”

(The supervisor gets on the line and my husband repeats the conversation so far.)

Supervisor: “No, that’s not right. If we did that everyone would just burn down their houses!”

Husband: “That’s what I said!”

Supervisor: “We will have a talk to that associate about this. Now, let’s take a look at your policy.”

Karma Ensuring The Insuring

| CT, USA | Working | August 4, 2016

(My father has just started disability and can no longer work, let alone as a plumber. Just for starters he’s on oxygen, has multiple broken vertebrae, and the drugs his doctor has put him on make it impossible for him to remain upright more than a few minutes at a time. One day, he receives a call.)

Caller: “Is this Mister [Father]?”

Father: “Yes.”

Caller: “You don’t know me, but you did some work for a Mrs. [Name] a few years back. You helped her, no questions asked, when no other plumber would since she couldn’t pay. And then when she was finally able to pay, you slashed her bill in half since she was having money troubles. She recommended you to all of her friends and all of them have nothing but the best to say about you.”

Father: “I’m glad they liked my service, but I’m sorry, I no longer work. I can recommend some guys to you, though.”

Caller: “Oh, I know you no longer work. You see, I’m an investigator for [Insurance Company]. I just thought you might want to know that they’ll be having an investigator shadow you next week. I thought you were a decent enough person that you deserved a heads-up.”

Father: “Well, that… that’s incredibly kind of you.”

Caller: “After what you did for my mother, it was the least I could do.”

Father: “Thank you so much.”

Caller: “You’re welcome. Oh. And by the way, have your wife take down all the pictures of you on your motorcycle from her social media. They’ll be looking at that, too.” *click*

You’re A Total Pain(killer)

, | WA, USA | Working | June 1, 2016

(I work at a medical clinic, and am on the phone talking to a patient’s insurance about getting a medication authorized, as she has failed several meds for that particular problem already. I have told him all about the past meds, which is all he needed to know. Bear in mind that the insurance department that handles these authorizations is the pharmacy department, and the ones I talk to are pharmacists, pharmacy techs, or otherwise med-savvy folks. Usually.)

Insurance Representative: “After review, that medication is going to be denied.”

Me: “What?”

Insurance Representative: “She has not tried two of our preferred formulary alternatives.”

Me: “Just what do you want her to try after she has failed FOUR meds for this?”

Insurance Representative: “She needs to try at least two NSAIDs, and you only mentioned one. She has to try…” *rattles off list of their preferred NSAID pain relievers*

Me: “Whoa, whoa. Did you just say ibuprofen?”

Insurance Representative: “That’s right.”

Me: “I told you she’s tried Advil…”

Insurance Representative: *flustered* “But… you said Advil. You didn’t say ibuprofen!”

Me: “Ibuprofen is the generic of Advil…”

Insurance Representative: “You didn’t say ibuprofen.” *types on his computer* “Ibuprofen is the generic of Motrin.”

Me: *facepalm* “They both are ibuprofen…”

(In the end, her medication was approved, and I know which medical insurance I’m never going to use!)

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