The Use Of Regular Is Most Irregular

| Right | May 3, 2011

Me: “Thank you, sir. Now, if you could just sign your name on the line, and then write it regular on the line below…”

Customer: *signs his name and below it writes ‘regular’*

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Brokers With Chokers

, , , , , | Right | April 13, 2011

(We sell all types of insurance, including bonds. I am on the phone to a customer.)

Caller: “Do you guys do bondage there?”

Me: “Yes, sir. However, the gentleman that handles that is all tied up at the moment.”

Customer: “Oh. Haha. Um… yeah.”

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It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 7

, , , , , | Right | April 12, 2011

Me: “Hello, you’re through to [Insurance Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “I need a quote for home insurance.”

Me: “No problem. The quote can take up to fifteen minutes. Do you have the time?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s 11:15. Why?”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Customer: “It’s 11:15. Don’t you have a clock?”

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Their Policy’s Days Are Numbered

, , , | Right | March 18, 2011

Me: “Thank you for calling [Insurance Company]. How may I assist you?”

Caller: “I have a question about my policy.”

Me: “I can help you with that. Do you have your policy number?”

(There’s a long pause. I can hear the ruffle of papers.)

Caller: *shouting* “God d*** it!”

Me: “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.

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Hopefully, Acts Of God Are Covered

, , , , | Right | March 15, 2011

Me: “Would you like to get a protection plan? Just in case anything happens to your GPS.”

Customer: “No, I’ll just pray over it. The blood of Jesus is the best protection there is.”

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