(A couple of years ago, I moved to the UK from another country. At that point, I thought I had cancelled all my running costs, but about six months ago I learned that I still had insurance running. Mea culpa; emails went back and forth, and I cancelled it. Or so I thought. This month I see money being taken from my bank account by a different insurance provider I’ve never had dealings with, so I call.)

Agent: “[Insurance Provider], how can I help you today?”

Me: “I am being billed for insurance, but I don’t think I ever contracted with you. Could you look into that?”

(Basic details and security checks are exchanged.)

Agent: “Ah, yes, we bought out your account from [Old Provider] a couple of months ago.”

Me: “I cancelled that. What are you billing me for?”

Agent: “From what I can see, that particular service package was split in two in the takeover, as we treat them as separate services.”

Me: “How was I supposed to know this?”

Agent: “You could have checked your online account page.”

Me: “The account page with a company I didn’t know I was insured with and which, by the way, requires an [Old Home Country] postcode to even get in?”

Agent: “It is your responsibility to do that, yes.”

Me: “Is it even legal for you to insure me across borders like that?”

Agent: “Many people have insurance for places they don’t live.”

Me: “As of my cancellation, do you have any other address on file for me than my current one?”

Agent: “No.” *pause* “I have cancelled your insurance; is there anything else today?”

Me: “Can you refund the last six months when I was clearly illegally insured?”

Agent: “No. Have a nice day.” *click*

(It was about £40 total so I felt it not worth making a fuss, but some people are just blinded by their own procedures.)

(We have to evacuate our summer cabin because of a forest fire. When we return, we find that the cabin is fine, but the disused outhouse has burned to cinders. When the insurance adjuster comes to evaluate the damage for our claim, I have to explain to him what happened.)

Me: “The fire burned our jakes! It’s a total loss, I’m afraid.”

Insurance Guy: “What’s a jakes?”

Me: “Our outhouse. Just don’t ask me to inventory the contents.”

(We write and service policies for just one insurance company, which is included in our business name.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [My Agency]. This is [My Name] speaking; how may I help you?”

Caller: “I’m calling for [Competing Insurance Company]; please connect me.”

Me: “You’ve called [My Agency]. Do you have a policy with us, or may I provide you with a quote?”

Caller: “No, my business is with [Competing Insurance Company]. Put them on the line.”

Me: “I can only assist customers of [My Agency]. I have no way to connect you.”

Caller: “No, that’s not true and you know it. Put me through to [Competing Insurance Company].”

Me: “I don’t have the ability to transfer you to any numbers outside of [My Agency]. You’ll need to call [Competing Insurance Company] directly.”

Caller: “I don’t have their number; I only have yours.”

Me: “As I’ve stated, I can only assist our own customers. As a courtesy, I’ve found the number for [Competing Insurance Company] for you. Please get a pen or pencil and paper so you can write the number down.”

Caller: “I’m not writing anything down, because you’ll call that number yourself and transfer me as I’ve requested. I know [Competing Insurance Company], [Another Competitor], and [My Agency] are the same, doing business under different names. If you won’t help me, I’m cancelling my policy with [Competing Insurance Company]! Either transfer me now or cancel my policy!”

Me: “I can do neither. I’ll be disconnecting this call now; please don’t call again, as no one here can assist you.”

Caller: *as I hit the button to hang up* “F****** b****!”

(I was a bit surprised when she didn’t call back!)

(My aunt is trying to get my cousin put on her car insurance so she can use the car whilst my aunt is on holiday.)

Aunt: “Hi, I’d like to add my daughter to my car insurance.”

(They go through my cousin’s details and then:)

Customer Service Representative: “That will be £121; is that okay or do you want us to try and get a better deal?”

Aunt: “If you can get a better deal that would be great!”

(Literally five seconds later:)

Customer Service Representative: “We can do £33.36?”

Aunt: “Is that all the same coverage?”

Customer Service Representative: “Yes, it’s exactly the same.”

(This takes place after I receive a statement from my medical insurance company, who is also my provider.)

Agent #1: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [Agent #1]. May I please have your name and insurance number?”

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name], and my number is [number].”

Agent #1: “How may I help you, Mr. [My Name]?”

Me: “I am calling about the statement that I received in the mail recently. There are several charges against my insurance that I don’t recognize. Those are the charges from [dates], for [amounts].”

Agent #1: “So, you are claiming that you did not make these charges?”

Me: “Yes, those are not my charges, and no one else has my insurance information.” 

Agent #1: *suddenly defensive* “So, are you saying that someone here at [Company] ran charges against your insurance? Could it be more likely that you gave your insurance card to someone else, and now you are trying to rip us off? I don’t know what you did, but we are not responsible for what you do, and we aren’t going to help you defraud us!”

(My insurance is very good; my copay is never more than $20 for Schedule 2 drugs and surgical procedures. Regardless, the accusation infuriates me more than the insurance fraud.)

Me: *furious, but keeping my temper in check* “Now you can transfer me to your manager.” 

Agent #1: “Why? So you can lie to her, as well? I’m not going to let you try to rip off [Company] anymore. Don’t call back or I’ll give your number to the federal government for insurance fraud!” *hangs up*

(By this point, I am absolutely furious and am about ready to call National Insurance Crime Bureau myself, but I decide to try one more time.)

Agent #2: “Hello, thank you for calling [Company]. May I have your name and insurance information?”

Me: “My name is [My Name] and my number is [number].”

Agent #2: “How may I help you today?”

Me: “Does the word HIPAA mean anything to you?”

Agent #2: *slightly confused* “Yes, of course. Every medical company follows HIPAA rules.”

Me: “Apparently not.” *explains situation* “Now, the first agent accused me outright of giving my insurance to someone else. I, however, have to wonder how your company gave my private medical information to some random person. That is a major HIPAA violation.”

Agent #2: “If you’ll hold for a moment, my manager wants to speak with you about this.”

Manager: *taking the line* “Hello, my name is [Manager], and I understand you have some issues with some charges against your insurance?”

Me: “No, I have issues with what your company has done, by the admission of your own agent and the charges I see here. There are charges on my account that I didn’t make. Now, one of two things happened here. One, someone else was allowed to use my insurance information to schedule an appointment, see a doctor, and get several high-class prescriptions, all without checking to see if they were me. That would be so many HIPAA violations I can’t even count them all. Or two, someone in your company is scamming insurance for money or drugs. That would be insurance fraud, in which case I would be within my rights to sue.”

(The manager is suddenly quiet, followed by the sounds of typing. When she comes back on the line, she sounds a little shaky and nervous.)

Manager: “If you’ll just bear with me for a little bit longer, I think I might know exactly what happened. Can you please confirm the dates, doctor’s name, and pharmacist name listed on your account?” 

Me: “The dates are [dates], all of them are listed as being with [Doctor], and the prescriptions are all listed as filled by [Pharmacist].”

Manager: *eerily calm now* “I think I have found the problem. Please give me a phone number, and I will call you back as soon as I get what I need.” *gives my number* “Again, my name is [Manager] and my direct extension is [number].” *call disconnects*

(She called me back about three hours later and explained everything. It seems that it was, in fact, insurance fraud: hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of it. From what the manager told me, the doctor, the pharmacist, and [Agent #1] were all family. It seems that they had been running a MASSIVE insurance scam, one where the doctor ran up fake appointments against insurance, usually avoiding triggering patient copay by billing it as a copay-free appointment. He would then write prescriptions, also against insurance, which would then be filled by the pharmacist, also his sister. They would then take those prescriptions and sell them for a much lower price and pocket the money. [Agent #1]’s job, it seems, was to direct patients away from any suspicion. Usually, he succeeded by claiming it was some type of hidden fee, but that insurance would handle it and there would be no charges for the patient. They messed up this time, though; my insurance is through the state, and one of the prescriptions that the doctor wrote automatically triggered the copay on the state insurance plan, thus my problem. This manager just happened to notice the family connection, and, when she opened the records, she put it all together from the appointment records. Things dragged on for a while, and the doctor tried to run once the feds started investigating, but in the end, all three were arrested. Last I heard, they are all facing very, very long sentences. As for the charges? They were reversed with no difficulty by the manager who took my call the first time.)