Return Fender Bender Back To Sender

, , , , , | Legal | August 15, 2018

(A light has just changed and I’m slowing down as I approach it so I can stop. I see a truck barreling towards me, but I can’t move out of his way fast enough. He hits me with enough force to send me across the entire intersection. Thankfully, I am all right. Ironically, he does it in front of two cops. This happens two weeks after, when my insurance already has started on getting payment from the other guy.)

Insurance Rep: “This is [Rep] from [Insurance]. We need a recorded statement from you. Unfortunately, the other driver is fighting this and says you were at fault for the accident. As none of us have a copy of the police report, we need recorded statements from all involved parties.”

Me: “Oh… Okay. Would you also like a copy of the report? I’ve got it saved to my computer and can email it to you right now.”

Insurance Rep: “You are now my favorite person. Yes to that, as well!”

(A month later, I heard the other guy lied to his insurance company, and said I was weaving in and out of lanes and that’s why he hit me. He had them take me to arbitration, ending with me getting $2,000 and him probably being dropped by his car insurance.)

Should Update Their Life Insurance, Too

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2018

(I’m an insurance agent. A young woman in her early 30s has asked to have an RV policy transferred from her husband’s name into her name, as she says her husband is ill and doesn’t currently drive due to his medical issues. She is already on the policy, so a transfer isn’t necessary, but she thinks it will be a lower premium. When the quote is complete, it does not lower her premium, and she agrees to keep the policy as currently written.)

Customer: “Thank you for the quote; I’m not going to make any changes at this time.”

Me: “Thank you for doing business with [Company]. Let us know if there is anything else we can help you with.”

Customer: “Oh, I will. You know, I’ve had to take over all of the finances since my husband has been in the hospital.”

Me: “I’m sorry the burden has been placed on you; I hope that he recovers quickly.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. He’s really up there in years, and I just have to come to terms with the fact that he may not recover at all.”

Me: “He is quite seriously ill, then?”

Customer: “Not really, but at his advanced age, I have to be ready for the worst.”

Me: “…”

(The husband was only 60 years old!)

The Walking Red(Handed)

, , , , , | Legal | August 8, 2018

(I’ve just been hired on by a lawyer who deals with disability claims, so I’ve put my two weeks in at the store I have worked at for a few years. This means during the day, I work at the law office, and I close evenings at the store. Since I’m still new to the job, I have to take my time with asking potential clients pertinent questions about their disabilities. I’m on my fourth day there, when a woman in her mid-forties comes in, leaning heavily on a walker, barely shuffling her feet. She is sweating furiously and panting, and drops down on the couch in the receptionist area.)

Me: “Oh, ma’am! Are you okay? Would you like some water to help cool you down?”

Woman: “You don’t have parking in front of your office.”

Me: “No, ma’am. Unfortunately, there was no place to put the parking area.”

(Our law office is an old house with barely any lawn, so the parking is across the street, except for a lone parking area meant for handicapped parking.)

Woman: “I could have hurt myself crossing the street. I’m not so sure I want to hire Mr. [Lawyer] now.”

Me: “Oh, you’re not a current client?”

Woman: “No! And you should tell him that making people park across the street is bad for business!”

Me: “I do apologize, ma’am. There’s nothing we can do about that. But since you’re not a client yet, how about you sit and get some rest, then I can ask you some questions about why you’d like to hire Mr. [Lawyer].”

Woman: *looking offended* “I’m not telling you that! That’s not your business.”

Me: “Unfortunately, it’s my job to ask these sort of questions so we can help in the best possible way we can. You don’t have to give me extensive information, just a briefing over what your disability is.”

Woman: “I got hurt in a serious wreck about six months ago, and ever since then, walking, sitting, standing, and even peeing is unbearable! If it weren’t for my walker, I wouldn’t be able to get around. It’s bad enough I have diabetes on top of that, plus the doctor said that I need to get surgery on my back if I ever want to be normal again, and I can’t do that. I don’t have any kind of insurance.”

Me: *feeling something is off* “I see.”

(I take her through her remaining information, such as which doctors she has gone to about her injuries and what medication she’s on. When I tell her that the lawyer will request a meeting with her at another date, she gets livid and says she’s changed her mind. She takes her time, struggling with her walker, and makes a point to knock over a vase on her way out, so I remember her very well. Two days later, I’m at the store, training my replacement at the register, when the same woman comes up. There’s no walker, the woman doesn’t seem to have any problems at all, and she doesn’t seem to recognize me. I wait for my replacement to start checking her out.)

Me: “It’s good to see you about, Mrs. [Woman]. How are you doing today?”

Woman: “I don’t know you. How do you know me?”

Me: “You came in two days ago to file for disability. I’m glad to know that the car accident you were in hasn’t hindered you completely. You don’t even need your walker this evening.”

Woman: “Oh, uh, oh. Well, I don’t need it all the time. I just… I’m just having a good day. That’s all.” *goes red and hurries to give my coworker her credit card*

Coworker: *after the woman has gone* “That was one of your new boss’s clients?”

Me: “Not an more.”

Driving Yourself Into A Dead End

, , , , | Legal | August 7, 2018

(My office has a parking lot straight across the road from us, where my coworkers and I park our vehicles. Since my office is at the front, I can see the vehicles that come and go through the day. It’s late morning when I notice a red Mercedes parked beside my car, and the owner is apparently waving their hands around, gesturing between vehicles. I hurry out to see what’s going on and see there’s a large red smear on the back of my car, and my bumper has been dented.)

Me: “Oh, God, what happened?”

Owner: “I’ll tell you what! When you parked your d*** car, you hit my Belle!”

Me: “Your… what?”

Owner: “You hit my f***ing car!!”

Me: “That is practically impossible. When did you get here?”

Owner: “I got here over an hour ago. Look at this. Look what you did! I want your insurance information now!

Me: “Fine. And I need yours. However, it’s obvious you hit my car.”

(By this time, a coworker has come out to see what is going on. I give her my phone to ask her to take pictures while I trade information with the car owner.)

Me: “I’m not pulling my insurance information out until you get yours.”

Owner: “I shouldn’t have to! You hit me!”

Me: “Buddy, I’ve been here since 7:30. I have been in my d*** office over there this whole time. How else do you think I saw you standing out here, waving your arms around like a loon? Either get your papers out, or I call the cops. Since I have witnesses to prove where I was, I’m pretty sure you’re going to be the one getting in trouble.”

Owner: *splutters* “How dare you?! Do you know who I am?”

Me: “The a**-hole who hit my car. I’m calling the police.”

(Funny how me saying that introduced the insurance card. I still called the cops, because his insurance paperwork was outdated. He still didn’t understand why he was getting a ticket. When I called his insurance, I had to fax them a copy of the police report, because he’d told them it was my fault.)

The Only Thing That Hit Them Was Fraud Charges

, , , , , , | Legal | August 5, 2018

(I’m on my lunch break and taking the back roads, since the town I work in has a university, which means the two main roads flood with traffic around noon. As I’m coming to a red light, I notice a guy walking the sidewalk in the same direction that I’m going has come to a stop and is watching me intently. I’m watching him, too, because I’m unnerved by how hard he’s staring at me. As I get closer, he suddenly dashes in front of me and I have to slam on my brakes. Luckily, I miss him. He flops on the road in front of me, then stands up when he realizes I’m not going to hit him, and runs at the hood of my car. I scream at him when he lands hard on top of it, then slides back down. I grab my phone to call the police, explaining in detail what has happened, then exit my car on their suggestion to make sure the man is okay. By this time, another car coming the opposite way has pulled up and is watching this guy stand and slam himself into my hood twice again, so I have a witness.)

Me: *yelling* “What are you doing?”

Guy: *moaning and lying on the ground* “Oh, I think you hurt me. I need an ambulance.”

Me: “The police can decide that when they get here. I’ve already called them!”

Guy: “No, call the ambulance. I need medical help. You broke my ribs.”

Me: “No, I didn’t. The police will decide if they should call someone when they get here. I’m not going to do that. I am going to get back in my car now, though.”

(He stood up again and slammed his head as hard as he was able into my hood, splitting his skin open. I screamed and jumped back in my car. At the same time, the other driver got out of his to try and stop the man from doing any more damage to himself or my vehicle. We sat there to wait for the police. When they arrived, the man was transported by ambulance to the hospital and the witness and I gave an explanation of the situation to the officers. I didn’t hear anything else about it until a week later, when some guy claiming to be a lawyer called my place of business to talk to me, saying I owed over $1 million for injury and for leaving the scene of the crime. I told him to get a copy of the police report and hung up. This was three weeks ago, and I still don’t know what happened to that man.)

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