CONTENT WARNING: Vehicle collision with an animal.

A policy holder calls in extremely irate.

Caller: “I hit a deer! I shouldn’t have to file a claim under my own policy to pay for the damage! It wasn’t my fault that the deer ran out in front of me! My policy shouldn’t have to pay!”

Me: “Sir, let me reassure you that because it’s filed under comprehensive, it will not affect your premium.”

Caller: *Adamant.* “My policy should not have to pay!”

After going around in circles with him for at least fifteen minutes, I finally lose it.

Me: “Sir, if you can find the deer who hit you and get their insurance info, we will gladly file with the deer’s insurance company!”

Caller: “I will call back with the information!” *Click.*

I wonder if he’s still looking for that uninsured deer…

I work in an insurance call center. One day, I had to deal with a difficult customer. He was snippy and rude from the get-go.

First, he wanted to take out a new policy, but as he was a “long-term” customer and had given us so much money, he deserved a highly preferential price. He had been with us for seven months and had a single policy worth no more than £250. He was not happy with the standard 10% discount for repeat customers and went on a tirade about how terrible the company was for not valuing its customers.

Next, he demanded that I waive the excess for his current policy. For free. I told him I could add an excess waiver to his policy, but he’d have to pay for it. Once again, he berated the company and then insulted me personally. I was ignorant, incompetent, uneducated, lazy, etc.

Because I would not waive his excess, he then demanded a discount on his current policy as compensation. He was furious when I told him I couldn’t do that, either.

In the end, I had to pass him through to a manager, who was also unable to give him what he wanted.

Then, I carried on with my day. Calls like that were, unfortunately, fairly standard. I was quite used to rude, obnoxious, or even downright abusive customers. Frankly, [Customer] didn’t even make my top ten worst customers THAT WEEK, let alone in the two years I’d worked there.

That soon changed when I was called into the manager’s office the next day.

It was in that meeting that I learned that there are businesses that allow you to anonymously send excrement in the post. I had no idea that was a thing. But [Customer] was convinced that I was the one who had sent the package of manure he had received.

I took a seat while the department manager and a Human Resources representative sat before me.

Manager: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to terminate you for gross misconduct.”

Me: “But I didn’t do it.”

Manager: “Well, the customer has reason to believe you did.”

Me: “And what reason is that?”

Manager: “You were the last person he spoke to, and this morning, he received the… package.”

Me: “And you’re not even going to investigate?”

Manager: “The customer has reason to believe you did it.”

Me: “And you’re just going to take his word for it? You’re not going to investigate anything? Not even listen to the call or take further details?”

HR Manager: “Please don’t make this difficult. Just sign the dismissal form.”

Me: “No. I’m not signing it. I didn’t do it. If you fire me for it, I’m going to sue you for unfair dismissal.”

This made the managers pause for a moment.

HR Manager: “Okay. Do you have any evidence that you didn’t do it?”

Me: “That’s not how this works. You have to prove I did it. I don’t have to prove I didn’t. However, I can give you a clue.”

The managers stared at me blankly.

Me: “I took the call from [Customer] at 9:00 pm last night, right?”

Both managers nodded.

Me: “And he got that package first thing this morning.”

Neither manager responded, continuing to stare gormlessly at me.

Me: “How could I send something that arrived first thing this morning at nine o’clock last night? Even next-day delivery has a cut-off time no later than 4:30 pm. And delivery before 9:00 am likely has an even earlier cut-off time. So, how could I send anyone a package and have it arrive first thing this morning?”

After that “amazing” detective work, the managers miraculously decided that they would look into the matter further and let me get back to work. However, I wasn’t done.

I went over their heads and lodged a formal complaint with the managers’ boss, the regional manager. I expected my complaint to be ignored. I really just wanted evidence of the incident and for there to be a paper trail in case they tried to retaliate. But the regional manager acted on my complaint. Immediately.

The HR manager was fired. The department manager kept his job but was put on probation, meaning one tiny slip-up would result in his immediate termination.

Unsurprisingly, I ended up leaving the job anyway two months later. The regional manager made sure to give me a great reference and told me not to worry about giving my two weeks’ notice. I guess he really wanted to make sure I didn’t sue them.

I never found out who sent [Customer] the package, but given how he spoke to me, I’m sure the list of suspects is quite long.

I work for a law firm. A new client calls one day to explain her problem. Her husband passed away two years ago. She kept paying the mortgage. One day, she got a letter explaining that her husband had insurance that paid off the mortgage when he died, so her balance was zero. They returned her last payment. There was no mention of the two years of payments between his death and the most recent one. About three months after that, they foreclosed on her house.

Her attorney calls the legal department of the company to determine the issue. He’s on speaker, so I hear it.

[Attorney] introduces himself to the customer service representative and gives them all the necessary information.

Representative: “You need to speak to Legal. Their number is [number].”

Attorney: “That’s exactly what I just called.”

Representative: “No, this is customer service. Please call the other number.”

[Attorney] ends the call and calls the same number. The same representative answers.

Representative: “Legal Department!”

[Attorney] explains the situation.

Representative: “I can help you with that. I see that there have been no payments made in five months. Why is that?”

Attorney: “Because your company sent a letter stating that there was insurance that paid off the mortgage and left a zero balance.”

Representative: “That is correct, but she should still have been making payments. The insurance takes three to six months to credit.”

Attorney: “He died two years ago.”

Representative: “Sometimes it takes longer.”

Attorney: “You need to dismiss the foreclosure suit, or I am turning this over to the Attorney General’s Office.”

Representative: “Let me get my manager.”

[Attorney] repeats the entire conversation.

Manager: “So, that leaves a total due today of [missed payments PLUS late fees]. That is good until the fifteenth of the month. When can we expect payment?”

Attorney: “You can discuss that with the Attorney General’s staff.”

The entire mess is turned over to the Attorney General. They start a massive investigation of the entire company. Lots of legal steps later, the foreclosure is dismissed and a refund is sent to our client for all the payments between her husband’s date of death and the last payment, the late fees are cancelled, and an additional $1,000 is sent to cover her legal fees. Then, we got a final email from the attorney for the mortgage company.

Company Attorney: “We have sent a check in the amount of [amount] to your attention. It covers payments made after death, late fees paid prior to the commencement of the lawsuit, and attorney fees. Finally, I would like to say that this could have all been avoided if your client had been more patient. While I appreciate that she was emotional following the death, we cannot move as quickly as she might like. In the future, I would appreciate a reasonable amount of time to address issues.”

I wonder why the Attorney General’s office fined them a bunch of money. Just can’t figure it out.

I work for an insurance company in the department where we deal with cases and either approve or deny them. We do not sell.

One of our most common processes is paying out for life insurance. If the customer dies, the executor can contact us and start the case. To continue with the case, we need certain documents, e.g., the death certificate.

In certain cases, we have to ask the police for the death certificate — no need for a crime to have been involved. If the police in any way have been involved with the discovery of the person in question, they will have the needed documents.

This was the issue in this particular case. I was working when the police called.

Me: “[Insurance Company], [My Name], how can I help you?”

Police: “Hi. We have received your request for the death certificate of this person.”

They gave me the needed case number, so I could find the customer.

Police: “But the person is not dead.”

Me: *Totally baffled* “Wait… What? They’re not dead?”

Police: “No, this person is most definitely alive.”

Me: “Are you really sure that it’s the same person? Can you say the name again?”

Police: “[Customer’s Unique First Name], [Customer’s Birthdate].”

Me: “Wow… This has never happened before… What are the last digits in the ID number?”

They gave a number that did not match the one in our system.

Me: “Wait, that is not the same as I’m seeing here. The ID number here is [number]. Are you able to find them?”

Police: “Wait… Yes. Now I found them. Okay, that person is actually dead.”

Yes, it really turned out that there were TWO people with the same very unique first name and the exact same birth date — but different last digits in their ID. This had never happened before, neither to us nor the police. We had a good laugh about it.

To be fair, the almost-mistake most likely happened because we are not allowed to give the full ID number through our written contact method with the police, thanks to GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation). The bosses are working on making this kind of things easier, but as most should know, needed changes for customer service are rarely prioritized over other things in big companies.

My family and I went on a vacation to visit friends out of state. During the trip, my dad got a call that our electrical company had to replace our power lines. No big deal, right?

We got home a few days later and found no power in the house. Not only that, but it was hot and all the food in the fridge had spoiled. We checked the circuit breakers and found nothing wrong.

I then went outside to inspect the power lines and found our entire electrical meter with the pipe forcibly ripped off the side of the house and lying on our lawn. The impact had also broken a three-foot section of the new vinyl fence we had installed a few weeks prior.

The next morning, my dad and I picked up the police report to see what had happened. There was some construction happening at the school across the street, and one of the contractors had tried to drive a cement mixer under our power line.

We then called our local electrician.

Dad: “Hello. This is [Dad’s Full Name].”

Electrician: “Mr. [Last Name]? That name sounds familiar. I think we’ve done work on your house before.”

Dad: “You have a very good memory. Anyway, we have a job for you.”

Electrician: “How can I help?”

Dad: “It’s a long story, but basically, we got back from vacation yesterday… and we came home to find our entire electrical meter and pipe ripped off the wall. Apparently, some idiot in a cement mixer broke it.”

The electrician immediately begins laughing.

Electrician: *Still laughing* “Are you serious? I can safely say I’ve never heard of that happening in my many years in business.” *In a more professional tone* “I’ll send someone out right now. We’ll get your power back on as soon as we can, Mr. [Last Name].”

Two electricians showed up about an hour later. They immediately saw the meter and pipe lying on the ground and stared at it in disbelief for several minutes. They fixed everything a few hours later. The fence was also repaired a few weeks later.

We also went to our insurance agent. We told him the same story and gave him all of the documents and some photos. He was trying to hold back laughter when describing the situation to the claims department.

Insurance Agent: *Trying not to laugh* “This is definitely one of the funniest claims I’ve had to file in quite some time. It’s so comedic. It’s like something out of a cartoon.”

That one cement mixer ended up doing more than $3,000 in damage.