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Five Thousand Reasons To Dislike This Customer

, , , , , | Right | August 3, 2020

Since lockdown, we’ve been closing from 12:00 to 13:00 for walk-ins to avoid having to sanitize the reception desk area computer, phone, chair, etc. We’re still available by phone. A client comes in at 13:00 sharp.

Client: “You’d better have a good reason to be closed during lunchtime! And you’d better not tell me it’s ‘cause of that corona, ‘cause that’s not a good reason!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that is why. We can—”

Client: “That’s not a good reason!”

Me: “As I was saying, we cannot sanitize the area and share the desk every day; it would take too much time.”

Client: “You guys really need to let your clients know! This is ridiculous. That’s not a good reason. I’ve been here twice during lunch to make a payment and you were not open.”

Me: “Sir, it says right on our door and when you call that we’ve modified our hours and are closed from noon to one.”

Client: “That’s not good enough! You need to advise me by mail. I need it to be written down! I came here and it was closed.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but that would make no sense. We can’t send a letter to all our clients to advise that we’re closed to walk-ins from noon to one temporarily.”

We’re a local business but have over five-thousand clients; that would be thousands of dollars for something they would literally know by calling.

Client: “That’s stupid. This makes no sense. It’s not a good reason. Anyway, you guys suck and I won’t be your client again next year.”

Me: “No problem, sir. How about we cancel today, then?”

Client: “No! I don’t have time for that.”

We proceeded to payment. He asked a question and asked if we were going to be open at lunch then. I told him no and he stormed off, yelling to make sure I told my boss about this. I did. They laughed.

Apparently, There Is Only One Insurance Company

, , , , | Right | July 24, 2020

Me: “Hi, [Insurance Company #1], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to pay my [Insurance Company #2]’s bill.”

Me: “I am sorry, but you have called [Insurance Company #1], not [Insurance Company #2]. I can’t help you pay your bill.”

Customer: “Oh, then can you look up the number for my agent?”

Me: “I am sorry, but as I am from [Insurance Company #1], I don’t have access to agent information for [Insurance Company #2].”

Customer: “Can’t you look it up on your computer on the Yellow Pages?”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry but I can’t. I don’t have access to outside sites.”

Customer: “Can’t you use your phone to look it up? Like on your iPhone or something?”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot assist you.”

Customer: “I just want to pay my bill. It’s under [Customer].”

Me: “I am sorry, but I have already explained to you that I do not work for the company that carries your insurance, so I cannot process a payment for you.”

Customer: “Okay, so look it up for me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I hope you get the help you need.”

Does Not Speedily Come To That Conclusion

, , , , , | Right | July 23, 2020

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I want to know why my new monthly premium amount is more than it was during my previous six-month policy term?”

Me: “Well, we ran your motor vehicle report and found out that you had two speeding tickets in the last four months.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t someone tell me?”

Me: “Well, the reason you’re calling me, asking me why your premium is higher, is because we did tell you.”

Parenthood Doesn’t Come With Clairvoyance

, , , , , | Healthy | July 19, 2020

My son was born with a very slight heart murmur. The pediatrician said he needed to see a cardiologist so they called one in right away. He was only an hour old.

One month later, I got a letter saying the insurance wouldn’t pay because it needed a pre-authorization twenty-four hours before the visit. I called the insurance company and said that twenty-four hours before the visit, my son was negative twenty-three hours old. They paid the claim.

He’s eighteen now, and he’s fine.


This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

Read the next July 2020 Roundup story!

Read the July 2020 Roundup!

Taxing Faxing, Part 28

, , , | Right | July 17, 2020

A customer wants a document sent by fax. Even if there are more modern ways, this is no odd request and since there is an appropriate number in his contact details, I do as I am told.

Several hours later, the customer calls again.

Me: “This is [Insurance Office]. You’re talking to [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, this is [Customer]. I wanted you to send me a fax but I didn’t get one.”

I know it was sent; I have the proof right next to me.

Me: “Well, I sent it right after you called. It should be there.”

Customer: “But I didn’t get it.”

Me: “Okay, no problem Mr. [Customer]. I’ll send it again. Just to be sure, would you please tell me the right number again?”

Customer: “Of course. It is [email address].”

Me: “…”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 27
Taxing Faxing, Part 26
Taxing Faxing, Part 25
Taxing Faxing, Part 24
Taxing Faxing, Part 23